Laurel's Birthday

Playing Church

“You must resist with all your might the temptation to play ‘church’ while the world bleeds”

Recently our pastor Chris Henry used this quote from Dr. Peter Storey, a former United Methodist Bishop in South Africa, for a sermon discussing the need to connect Sunday, and our faith, to the real world.

I think we all experience our “bleeding moments” each and every day, but let me share a few with you, on one of my favorite (or least favorite) topics, homelessness.

 A few weeks ago, I flew back from a business trip to Dallas.  Our daughter Megan and son-in-law Thomas (along with their dog and cat) had just left after a week with us escaping the hurricane in Florida, I wanted to “treat” Laurel, so I stopped at Publix on the way home, bought a steak, bought some wine, bought some ice cream and some flowers.  As I walked out of the store, full of excitement to surprise Laurel, there was a Hispanic couple with two children with a sign that said, “Homeless with two children, please help”.  As I stood there with all of my expensive goodies, I couldn’t help but feel guilty, and I reached into my pocket and gave them the five dollars I had.  Really, not a lot considering everything, but it’s what I had at the moment.

A few days later, Laurel and I were in a different Publix, just picking up some dinner, and we were approached by a women in the store, asking for help.  She said she was a victim of abuse, she had just moved to an apartment with her children, and she just needed help buying some groceries and toiletries.  She apparently had been approaching various people in the store.  I told her I’d have to think about it, and I decided not to help in this case.  I have to tell you, that decision gnawed at me for several days.  I didn’t know what to do, and I chose to do nothing, and in this case, I just don’t believe it was the right decision.  But what to do?  It reminds me of one of my favorite sermons from Dr. Tom Long, “Be Kind, Be Kind, Be Kind”.  Dr. Long paints a picture of himself giving his spare change to a homeless man and feeling good about his generosity.  The feeling begins to wear away as he sees the line forming with many hands held out for an offering. 

Unfortunately, that line continues to grow longer.  The gap is widening, and there are more and more people suffering from homelessness and the inability to make it on a daily basis.  As I painfully surveyed my response to these two snapshots of life, I decided to reach out to a cross-section of friends and colleagues to see how they respond in these situations.  The response was overwhelming, and gave me some fresh perspective, and some validation, for what I believe on the proper response to this topic. 

In most cases, people believe that the vast majority of those asking for handouts are “scammers”.  They have a set story, and they make a living preying on those of us who fall for a good, sad story.  The consensus was, don’t give money.  With the drug epidemic and alcohol problem in this country, giving money will most likely go to some form of addiction.  If you feel the need to give anything, give food, take them in and buy food for them, or whatever the issue is, buy it for them rather than giving cash.  The general feeling was that if the person is truly in need, they will be happy with whatever you are able to provide, but a scammer will only want money.

I had a few, and to be honest, mostly clergy, who really focused on the bigger picture.  By giving out money or food to individuals on the streets, you aren’t doing a thing to help or solve this dilemma.  In fact, it may exacerbate the problem for that person.  If that person can continue to get by through hand-outs and help from some of us who try to care, they may not seek the ultimate help they need to end the cycle they are in.  As one person put it:

“All we can do is ultimately follow the Holy Spirit and within each situation ask the questions:

1.    How do I honor the dignity of this person?

2.    Am I willing to walk the messy road of a long-term relationship with them?

3.    What is God trying to do in them and me through the pain of this situation?”

Finally, probably my favorite response broke us down into three categories when dealing with homeless people:

• Biblical Literalists - There are those of us who follow the teachings of Jesus, and we give freely without question.
• Sitting at the Right Hand of Judgment - There are those of us who assess whether the person truly needs what they are asking for and if the story is real.
• Tough Realists - There are those of us who believe the only way to deal with this situation is through giving to institutions rather than individuals.

 As I survey the many, and varied, responses I received, the wonderful thread woven throughout is that people care.  Each person had a slightly different response, but it was obvious, it is on our minds.  We don’t take this situation lightly, and we don’t have any easy answers.  I was really overwhelmed by how thoughtfully each person responded to this difficult situation.

Where do I fall in all of this?  For the most part, I’m a Tough Realist.  But let me take this categorization a step further, at least in my mind.  Unless you are truly a Biblical Literalist, and truly want to follow and honor Jesus, I think this is the easy way out.  When I give to someone on the street or at the grocery store, I do it because of the immense guilt I feel inside.  It helps to at least take some of that guilt away, so it’s more about making myself feel good.  I believe we need to feel the pain these people are feeling.  I believe we need to look them in the eye, tell them I am sorry that I can’t help you, but I’ll be thinking about you and praying for you.  We need to listen to what they have to say.  We need to etch their faces into our brains.  We need to hurt, we need to hurt that small percentage that they hurt.  Until we see these people, look at these people, feel their pain, it’s just too easy for us, and we’ll continue to do nothing, because we satisfy that need we have by giving them a sandwich, a dollar, a quick “I’m praying for you” before we can get the hell away from them and onto our lives.

The other night, we were visiting Patrick up in Providence, Rhode Island, and we went out to dinner.  As we were walking along the Providence River, Patrick saw a homeless man sitting under an overpass.  As we were leaving, Patrick asked if he could go back to see what he could do for the man.  Laurel and I stayed, and watched from a distance the interaction between Patrick and the homeless man.  At one point, they were both laughing hysterically.  I saw Patrick reach into his pocket, take out some money to give to him, and he gave the man the leftover food we had from our meal. 

Once we got back to the car, we asked Patrick about the laughing.  He said, “I asked him if there was anything I could give him.  He started laughing and said ‘$4,000!’.  He then asked if I could spare a dollar.  I gave him $2.”

After this encounter, Patrick was clearly agitated.  We got back to his apartment, and he didn’t say anything for the longest time.  Then he went on a rant about our society, our government, our lack of caring for those amongst of us that are the least, the fact that we aren’t willing to deal with those less fortunate than us.

I thought back to when Patrick was in high school.  He played Don Quixote in the musical, “Man of La Mancha”.  And I thought, Patrick is still chasing and fighting his windmills.  Patrick sees and feels the pain every time he sees someone sitting underneath an overpass.  To be honest, I’m really glad he does.  I firmly believe, Patrick will be a Biblical Literalist, and I’m fine with that.  I’m not sure if Patrick made any lasting impression on that homeless man, but he did make a lasting impression on me.  While there are many times in my life I worry that I’m “playing church while the world bleeds”, I have very little worries that Patrick is doing the same. 

So what about you?  What category do you fall into?  Biblical Literalist?  Sitting at the Right Hand of Judgment?  Tough Realist?  Or something completely different?  It’s not going to get any easier, that’s for sure.