Fonzie Jumped the Shark!

 Editor’s Note: Many years ago, before most of you were born, there was a family sitcom called “Happy Days”.  Great show, great family values, funny, but it stayed on the air much too long.  The moment where it became really evident the show needed to die was when one of the main characters, Fonzie, literally jumped a shark on water skis.  That seemed to signal, it’s time for Happy Days to die a timely death.  The phrase “Fonzie Jumped the Shark” became a metaphor for it’s time to move on.

While I’m not a fan of him, or would ever vote for him, we’ve reached a point where something has to be done.

He’s gone off the rails in so many different directions, even the most rapid of the MAGA cult are growing tired of his shtick, they’re walking out on his rallies, and it’s not good for anyone.  Whether it’s talking about Hannibal Lecter, the size of Arnold Palmer’s penis, windmills, or sharks, his ramblings are nonsensical.  What gets worse is when he talks about real issues like tariffs, global warming or grocery prices, he just isn’t very bright, and he really doesn’t have much of a clue of how these things work.  To try to keep his cult happy, he’s gone off on hate-filled racist lies about immigrants, which may fire up the base, but it’s really not good for the country. 

While all of this has been entertaining on a certain level, except for the racist rants, Fonzie finally jumped the shark.  He played music for 40 minutes or so at a rally recently, rather than answering questions, and danced and mouthed words to keep people entertained.  Does anyone really want to watch an old white guy in horrible physical condition dance around the stage for 40 minutes to his favorite tunes, especially YMCA? 

While this has been really, really entertaining to many of us, he’s become the Clown Prince of Comedy, this is serious stuff.  He may be the next president of this country, and we really need to get him on track. 

I’ve come up with a solution, and for the good of our country, I’m going to offer up what I believe will keep him focused, on track, and hopefully not spewing racists lies at his rallies.

I’ve developed some crisp talking points, they’re short, and even with his apparent dementia, he should be able to get through them without digressing, as long as we keep the teleprompter in front of him.  Plus, they are focused very much on him, which is by far what he likes talking about the most, so he should be able to stay on course.  I’ve developed four, I can come up with plenty more, but I homed in on some of the most important topics that he can address and at least make him sound somewhat presidential.

The first one is to highlight his great respect for those who served our country and the sacrifices that were made to protect our country:

Back when I was in ‘Nam, I was flying in a helicopter with Bob Duvall and Marty Sheen, and I could tell they were scared, they were white as ghosts.  There were missiles flying all around us, I got it, I could understand why they were scared.  Me?  Hell, no, I’m not a loser, I knew the VC’s could never shoot us down.  I tried to lighten them up, so I said, “Don’t you love the smell of napalm in the morning?”  Bob looked at me, and said, “Donnie (Bob always called me Donnie), that’s a great line, can I use it?”  I said, of course, just give me credit for it.  He never did, but that’s OK, everyone knows it’s my line.  It was a great day, we destroyed the VC’s and made Vietnam a much safer place.

The second focuses on catch phrases, key talking points that people can remember.  Think, “We’re going to build a wall, and Mexico is going to pay for it”:

Back when Martin Luther King was going to give his big speech in Washington, I could tell he was really nervous.  It was a pretty big crowd, nowhere near the size of my crowds, but still, for him a big crowd.  I said Doc, you got to grab them from the beginning.  Get them excited.  He said, “Donnie (he always called me Donnie) what would you do?”  I said you need to come up with a tag line, something that everyone will get excited about.  Doesn’t need to mean anything, doesn’t matter, just a line.  Out of the blue, I thought, “I have a dream!”  Came to me just like that.  I told Doc, say I have a dream!  Immediately, people will start dreaming, some about a juicy Big Mac, some about having sex with Ivanka, doesn’t matter, they won’t hear another thing you say.  They loved it, crowd went wild, nothing like one of my crowds, but it was a great day.

The next one is really strategic, it’s about golf, and everyone knows, old white guys love to talk about golf, evidenced by the first Presidential debate:

Back when Tiger Woods was the captain of the Ryder Cup team, he came to me and said, “Donnie (Tiger always called me Donnie), I know we could win the Ryder Cup if we had you on the team, but there are so many whiny babies on the PGA tour, they would complain if I put an amateur on the team, even though you’re a better golfer than any of us”.  I said, “Tiger, I understand, it really wouldn’t be fair for me to do it, it would just create too much controversy.”  Did they win?  Hell, no, I knew they couldn’t win without me.  But, I gave Tiger some advice, and he used it.  I told him, if you lose, just say the match was rigged.  And keep on saying it over and over and over again.  Doesn’t matter if you have any evidence, the more you say something, the more people believe it.  And they did, everyone said that America got screwed in that Ryder Cup match.  It was a great day to be an American.

The last is the most important, it speaks to his love of God and his close and deep relationship with God:

I was lying in bed the one night, all alone, and I was starting to doze off, when I heard a voice, “Donnie, it’s me, God”.  Well of course I knew it was God, He always calls me Donnie.  He said, this country is going to Hell in a handbasket, and we need to do something.  I tried sending a couple hurricanes to destroy a bunch of liberals, but they diverted them, and it only hit a bunch of good, Christian Nationalists.  I’m thinking about sending down some she-bears to rip some people apart.  I said, “God, I know what you mean, but I think I have a better solution.  How about I put together a Bible.  But not just any Bible, a Bible that has my name on it.  I’ll call it the “God Bless the USA Bible”.  With your words, and my name on it, we can get people reading the Bible again.  The best part is I’ll have it made in China, so I’ll make a small fortune on it!”  God loved the idea, He said, “Donnie, you are amazing.  Don’t you ever worry, if anyone ever tries to assassinate you, I’ll always be there to redirect those bullets.  You’ll always be just like a son to me.”

OK, I may have taken a few liberties with the truth, but really, nowhere near the liberties that he takes.  Plus, it’s really quite entertaining, and no one gets hurt.  No more discussions on real issues that he knows nothing about, and no more hate-filled racist rants.  Very simple stories, easy for him to repeat over and over, and the cult will love them and eat them up. 

As noted, if this works, I can come up with many more of these, I just want to make him sound presidential rather than like a babbling lunatic, since it appears he may become our next president no matter what spews out of his mouth, so it would be good for him to sound at least semi-intelligent.  If that’s possible of course.

What Leadership Looks Like

 For the Strategic Management course I’m teaching at Ohio Dominican University, I recently presented the topic of “Conscious Leadership”.  One of the learning outcomes was “exhibiting an appreciation for the importance of integrating ethical concerns with business objectives and strategy”.  There was a lot of great reading material, information about various leadership styles, examples of great leaders, really, a wealth of good information.

As I often do, I took my own road. I thought back and found some great speeches illuminating leadership that culminated movies I loved.  Some examples:

• Kurt Russell giving his motivational speech to the Team USA hockey team right before they stepped on the ice to play the unbeatable (well, maybe not!) Russian team in the 1980 Olympics memorialized in “Miracle”.
• Keanu Reeves in the huddle for the last play of “The Replacements” giving his teammates that last bit of inspiration they needed to win the game.  I love this movie, and one of my favorite all-time movie lines, “Winners want the ball, when the game is on the line”.
• Robin Williams breaking all of the rules and teaching his students what they really needed to know in “Dead Poet’s Society”.  “Rip It Out!”
• Al Pacino in his epic rant at the end of “Scent of a Woman”, allowing Charlie to stay in school rather than get expelled.  “When the shit hits the fan, some guys run and some guys stay!”

OK, maybe I got more out of this part than my students, I tend to believe great cinema is lost on the youth, they have too much information bombarding them all day to appreciate great drama.  As usual, I digress.

What I thought might be more useful for them and might impact them more was to hear some of my experiences regarding great leadership.  I worked in the business world for about 40 years, and I saw my share of great leaders, and not so great.  I think each of us has our own perception of great leadership. There are many types of leaders, and not all of us view a leader the same way, but I gave them examples of what I believed great leadership looks like.  I started with someone famous, I’m sure not familiar for them, but still a famous person from our country, who personified great leadership:

Dwight Eisenhower

I’ve read about Mr. Eisenhower before, but his story is compelling for several reasons.  He started out growing up very poor in a small town in Kansas, where most of the children never made it through high school.  His early military career wasn’t much better, and no one would have ever imagined where he would end up in life.  He ranked 125^th out of 164 men at West Point and was constantly in trouble for misbehaving.  One of his most important lessons was to smile even at adversity.  After a knockdown from a boxing coach, the coach said, “If you can’t smile when you get up from a knockdown, you’re never going to lick an opponent.”

This comment resonated with me, I often had situations at work where I was deep in thought or worried about something, and my personnel would see me looking this way.  Within a short period of time, rumors were flying about what was going wrong in the business.  People watch you; people see how you are acting.  As Mr. Eisenhower said:

“I firmly determined that my mannerisms and speech in public would always reflect the cheerful certainty of victory – that any pessimism and discouragement I might ever feel would be reserved for my pillow.  To translate this conviction into tangible results, I adopted a policy of circulating through the whole force to the full limit imposed by physical considerations.  I did my best to meet everyone from general to private with a smile, a pat on the back and a definite interest in his problems.”

 

After his inauspicious beginnings, Eisenhower went on to the Command and General Staff School where he finished first in a class of 245.  He became the Supreme Commander of the Allied Expeditionary Force in World War II, a Five Star General in the US Army, and the 34^th President of the United States from 1953-1961.  One of his key attributes was that he always gave credit to his people when things went well, and he always took the blame when things didn’t go well.  He fully supported those who worked for him.

 

I think I found Mr. Eisenhower’s leadership style so compelling because it so closely matched the leadership style of the greatest leader I worked for: 

Jim Crane

Jim did more for my career than anyone else, even me.  He saw something in me, that others probably didn’t see, and I also didn’t see.  Early in my career at Barco, I served in various divisions as a Controller.  I would have probably spent my life as a Controller, but Jim kept encouraging me to look higher, grow my career into something more.  While there is nothing wrong with being “just” a Controller, I was excited, and scared, to strive for something more.  Jim put me into a role at Barco Simulation as an Operations Manager.  Eventually, I was elevated to the position of Site Manager, and eventually General Manager.  None of this would have ever happened if Jim hadn’t seen something in me.

 

Jim was undoubtedly a “Servant Leader”.  Jim had so many traits similar to Mr. Eisenhower, but some key ones that made him such an incredible leader were: 

• Similar to Mr. Eisenhower, he passed out credit to his personnel when things went well, and he absorbed the blame when they didn’t.
• He had a great deal of patience and allowed people to work their way to a solution rather than dictating how to get there.
• He emphasized celebrating success; he wanted people to feel good about our accomplishments
• He would allow personnel (me) to vent their concerns, express their displeasure about decisions, and would hear them out, but you also knew when the conversation was over.  It still felt good to at least get to air your feelings.
• He was very forgiving of mistakes, even when they were monumental mistakes.  You knew what you did was wrong, but once it was done, it was done.

 As I said, my career would have been very different if it weren’t for Jim Crane.

 

The other great leader I had the pleasure to work for was completely different, but great just the same, he was larger than life:

 

Michael Gerster

As noted, Michael was larger than life, in so many ways.  Michael is relatively tall, and he has this presence about him.  He would briskly walk through the building, stopping everywhere to talk to anyone and everyone, he always wanted to hear what people had to say.  He talks in a deep, booming voice, and to be honest, when I first started working for him, I didn’t think I could do it.  He was always yelling at me, and I couldn’t figure out why he was always yelling.  It wasn’t until we had a meeting with our auditor, Jan Fischer from Roedl, that I understood.  We were leaving the meeting, and Jan was laughing, and I asked why.  He said, “typical guy from Cologne (Germany).  They always yell when they talk”.  I finally figured out Michael wasn’t yelling at me, it’s just how he communicated.

 

For those a bit older like me, we had this phrase, mostly related to sports.  We’d say, “I’d run through a wall for him.”  Michael was one I would run through a wall for.  He was a great leader, and our people would do anything for him.  Some key traits Michael possessed: 

• Michael is probably a Transformational Leader, he is always looking to do whatever he can to improve the processes and the business.  We would complete a week-long Kaizen event, we’d be exhausted, and Michael would say, “What can we do better?”  He never was satisfied, but it was really in a good way, he just wanted us to be as good as we could be.
• He is comfortable with business leaders, but he is also very comfortable with people on the factory floor or anywhere within the business.  Michael would walk the factory floor, talk to the people, find out what was going right or wrong, and then he would come to our Senior Management meetings and tell Klaus and Erich, our Operations leaders, what he found out by talking to the people on the shop floor.  Our people loved Michael, with good reason, he cared about them and cared about what they had to say.

 As noted, Jim and Michael are no doubt the best leaders I’ve ever worked for.  I’ve worked for many leaders, most are in the middle of the road, and then:

 

If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say ….

OK, I have worked for two poor leaders, but I won’t mention names, that wouldn’t be appropriate.  But I will note some of the behavior that I found distasteful in their leadership styles: 

• They were habitual liars.  In one of the cases, I really believe he was a pathological liar, he would lie to me about the financial statements that I prepared.
• They treated employees like indentured servants.  They really showed very little value for the people that worked for them.
• They spent the company’s money like there was no tomorrow, at least spending it on themselves.
• They ran the business individually, rarely involved senior leadership in any important decisions.
• Neither of them had any regard for women, particularly in any type of leadership position.
• They were both unethical, no moral compass whatsoever.

As I went through this process, teaching my class about what leadership looks like, I came to a conclusion or feeling about it, at least for me.  I think you can see, Jim Crane and Michael Gerster were completely different in their leadership styles, but in their own way, they were great leaders.  In the case of two poor leaders, I’m not sure if it’s my value system that is guiding me or that poor leaders have common traits, really not sure.

 

From my perspective, I really struggle when people are dishonest.  I had a difficult time working with, or even talking to, either of these individuals, they had such a propensity to lie.  The other for me is how you treat those around you.  My Dad was a truck driver, and he always taught me, no matter what someone does in an organization, you value them.  Everyone is important.  I didn’t appreciate the way they treated others, putting them in a caste system or ranking based on where they fit in the organization. 

 

I’m really not sure there is a formula for being a great leader, it comes in many sizes and shapes, and besides the two great ones I’ve noted, I’ve seen some really good ones, throughout the organizations I worked for.  Maybe at the core is the antithesis of the poor leaders I identified.  Honesty, valuing personnel, no matter where they are in the organization or what they look like, those are the critical aspects, and how you display your leadership is a matter of personality or style.

 

The good news is, I learned so much from all the leaders I’ve encountered, but specifically, these four.  I learned what great leadership looks like, and I’m so grateful I had the opportunity to work for Jim Crane and Michael Gerster.  In the case of the other two, I learned some valuable information also.  I learned how I don’t want to be treated, and how I won’t treat people who work with me.  All in all, great lessons. 

 

Living a Dream

 What did you want to be when you grew up?  I wanted to be a baseball player!  I wanted to be a pitcher like Bob Gibson, or more like Vida Blue, because he was left-handed like me, and he pitched for the Oakland A’s, my favorite baseball team, next to the Pirates.

OK, that dream died quickly because I really wasn’t that good of a baseball pitcher.  As I grew up, as I prepared for college and throughout college, I wanted to be a sportswriter.  I would eat and breathe anything related to sports or writing, I devoted myself to honing my skills to become the best sportswriter I could possibly be.

A funny thing happened along the way.  Apparently, the dream of writing for a newspaper became virtually everyone’s dream, because at one point, statistics said that if every journalist died today, there would be two coming out of college to replace them.  If I were lucky, I could find a job at a small, local paper, starting off writing obituaries and announcements, and maybe, I could eventually work my way up to writing real news stories.  While I’m sure some or many were willing to pay those dues, I wasn’t, I gave up that dream, and lived the dream of most young people, I became an accountant.

Because of my love of literature and writing, I also had a dream to write a book.  To a certain extent, that dream was even bigger.  I don’t know if any of you have tried, but writing a book is incredibly hard work.  It takes a great deal of thought, planning, imagination, perseverance, pain, suffering, and, oh yeah, talent.  At one point, many years ago, I wrote a short novel, but I can safely say, it really wasn’t very good.  I have no idea what I ever did with it, I just didn’t see any real value in what I had produced.

A new dream crept in recently, and this one really came out of nowhere.  About two years ago, I completed my Yoga Teacher Training and became a Registered Yoga Teacher.  Now, the main reason I did this was purely to learn more about yoga, I had no aspirations to teach or do anything with the certification.  Out of the blue, I want to own a yoga studio! Spoiler alert, I don’t own a yoga studio.  I did research it though, I read how to start one, looked at properties, considered getting some consulting from studio owners, but I never took it past the thought stages.

Do you ever wonder, what separates those who live their dream and those who just, well, dream?  Specifically, I’m referring to the old saying or challenge you would get growing up, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”  For whatever reason, some of us nail it, and some of us don’t.  What separates those who succeed from those who still dream about success or gave up on that dream long ago?

As you can possibly tell, I’ve put a lot of thought into this one.  I’m fascinated by the difference, the edge, the drive that some people have that others don’t.  I’m going to share three stories with you, people I’ve had the opportunity to live vicariously through.  It will become obvious why I picked them, but they lived their dreams, and they lived dreams that in essence parallel mine, but they made it happen.  I’ll share their stories, and I’ll share my thoughts on how or why they succeeded, by knowing them or simply watching them.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

Dejan Kovacevic just passed the 10^th anniversary of launching his online sports journalism outlet, DK Pittsburgh Sports.  He has created an incredible website that provides outstanding coverage for all the sports teams in Pittsburgh.  The success of this site is amazing, and really, is incomparable.  

I’ve followed Mr. Kovacevic’s writing for many years, back when he was a writer for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, and then with the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.  When he created his own forum, I abandoned all the other news outlets and moved to his site.

There are good reporters or sportswriters out there, but Mr. Kovacevic is not just that.  He is an incredible writer, who can create a beautiful story, who just happens to write about sports.  I’ve read good sports writers in my lifetime, but there are few, very few, who can bring such life, such humanity to a sports story, and I love to read whatever he writes.  As I noted in a previous blog, he could write about bocci ball, badminton, curling, whatever, I’d read it, even though I’ve quit watching sports.  He is just that good.  And probably the best piece I’ve ever read from him is the story of how he launched this site 10 years ago, it was a work of art, detailing the reaction from a friend (noted above), the discussions with his incredibly supportive wife, Dali, and just the whole process of how this came to be.

I had the privilege of visiting his headquarters/shop recently, and I got to meet and talk to Mr. Kovacevic for the first time ever, and it didn’t disappoint at all.  What I loved the most was hearing him talk about the writing process, I had just commented on his piece from the previous night’s Pirate game, and how much I loved it.  He explained to me that he missed an opportunity and didn’t quite capture the story as he would have liked to have.  That is why he is so good, even when he produced a great story, he felt it could have been better. 

Blood, sweat and tears

Many years ago, when I worked at Barco, I had a colleague at our headquarters in Belgium, Ann Galland, who worked in marketing.  I knew Ann, we had a professional relationship, but honestly, not a strong one, simply because she was in marketing, and I was a Chief Financial Officer, our paths didn’t often cross.  We had a good professional relationship, but that was about it.

We became Facebook friends, and over the last few years, I had noticed Ann wrote a novel, titled “Aroma”, I think back in 2022.  I was fascinated how in the world she did this, as noted, it’s an incredible amount of work.  I would read her posts on Facebook, and I’d see book signings, information on how well her book was doing, book reviews, whatever Ann posted about her book.

Much to my surprise, this year Ann published another novel, “Bitter”, which also has done incredibly well.  I must confess, I haven’t read them, when I looked on Amazon, it only had a Dutch version, so I can’t comment on how good they are.  But it’s safe for me to say, based on some of the reviews I’ve seen, she’s done quite a good job.  Some examples:

• "Bitter" is an immersive reading experience that exceeds expectations
• For fans of subtly written stories full of emotions and depth, this book is an absolute must-read
• Ann Galland proves her talent once again, and "Bitter" stands proudly alongside her predecessor as a strong novel full of intriguing characters and unexpected twists

After seeing all the reviews and success of her second novel, I reached out to Ann, and simply asked, what is the secret of her success?  Her response was relatively simple:

“There is no secret….it is just blood, sweat and tears.  Hard work.  I think, and being lucky that the market notices you have written something that is a lot better than average?

I get the first part, I’m sure she worked incredibly hard on this.  Not sure she gives herself enough credit for the second part, she obviously has written some very good novels, and while there could always be a certain level of luck involved, I think it probably pales in comparison to the quality of what she has written.

You will do great things

Have you ever met someone, and quickly you realize you are in the presence of someone special?  That’s the way I felt when I met Carley DeMarco. 

About two years ago, I did my Yoga Teacher Training with Carley and eight other young ladies, and while all of them possessed certain gifts, Carley had something special about her.  She was incredibly bright, knowledgeable about many topics, very articulate, a vociferous worker, she seemed to be involved in so many endeavors, I had no idea how she was able to do so much.

After a period, as we were walking through the woods at our YTT training center, I made that comment to Carley, I started it off with “You are doing great things, and you will do great things”.  She is one of those people who you know will be incredibly successful at something, or whatever, they set their mind to.

As we all left our yoga training, some of us, many of us, felt we probably wouldn’t teach yoga, we just wanted the experience.  Carley did plan to teach, but she took it to a whole new level.  Carley opened a yoga studio in Clayton, Georgia.  Keep in mind, I think at the time, Carley was 28.  She had the courage, the business sense, the vision to open a yoga studio.  While on a certain level, I was shocked and amazed, then again, I wasn’t.  As I said, I just knew Carley was destined for doing what many of us only dream of.  While she had to deal with “messy schedules, a never-ending to-do list, and sometimes, loneliness”, she also was able to experience a “heart beating out of chest kind of excitement and a sense of purpose that comes with it”.

Which brings me to the reason or root of this post, how or why do some live a dream, and why do some just dream?  I don’t think there are any simple answers, but from my small sample size, based on people who have done or accomplished what I would have liked to have accomplished, I have a few ideas.  I don’t believe there is any secret formula, but I think there’s a mixture, and a higher dose of one rather than the other in some of the cases, but here goes:

·       You must be very talented at whatever it is.  That is clearly true for the three profiled above.

·       You must be willing to work incredibly hard.  I don’t mean just hard, I mean dedicating massive amounts of time and effort into the endeavor, and essentially living it.

·       You must be driven, insanely driven, you must have such passion for whatever that dream is, and you aren’t willing to let that dream go.  There will be times where self-doubt comes in, when you, or those close to you, believe you are insane, but that passion will override any of those doubts, and you will believe that you will succeed. 

Am I jealous?  Oh Heavens, no!  I am so happy and excited for each of them, and to be honest, it’s been fun to watch.  I love to see Ann’s posts of her books’ successes; I look forward to them and enjoy her success.  Carley is one of the most incredible people I’ve had the honor of spending time with, and I can’t wait to see what she does and how successful she becomes.  When I had the chance to finally meet Dejan Kovacevic in person, I was giddy.  For me, he is an icon of writing, and I could have listened to him talk about writing all day.  Not one bit of jealousy, I love to see how each of them has succeeded so tremendously.

Where did I fall short?  Probably on a certain level, talent.  I was a good writer, but probably not great.  When it comes to hard work, I used to say at WIKA, no one can outwork me, not necessarily something to be proud of, but I never shied away from work.  I would have to say the biggest area where I fell short was just not quite enough passion to make it happen.  I think there were too many other things, or really, too many other people that I loved too much to take any more time away from them than I already was.

And all is not lost.  Laurel and I have created a yoga space in our home, and we offer free yoga one night a week, so far.  We’re trying to provide yoga to those who can’t afford studio fees.  No, I don’t own a studio, but I’m happy with what we’ve created.

As for my writing, I’ve decided to write a children’s book.  I’m in the early stages, I have the premise, the storyline, I have a plan for the illustration, and I’ve done quite a bit of research on what makes a children’s book successful.  I have no grand plans to be an ongoing writer, but I want to at least give one book a shot. 

Alas, I think my sports writing career is well behind me, but that’s OK.  And I just don’t see myself pitching in the Major Leagues someday, but I think I can live with that.  I’ll have to let those two dreams die a much-needed death….

A Perfect Sunday

 

What seems like a lifetime ago, when we lived in Georgia, Laurel and I had shirts made that said “The Perfect Sunday”.  It included three lines with checked boxes, “Church”, “Yoga”, “Beer”.

Most Sundays that would be our routine, we’d go to church at Shallowford Presbyterian Church, we’d go to Ebb & Flow Yoga in the afternoon and finish the perfect Sunday with a beer at Slow Pour Brewery. 

Fast forward, life has changed dramatically.  As many conversations go these days, “…and then COVID happened”, we moved from Georgia to Ohio, we left the church, we went from a “home” yoga studio to yoga franchises, and we haven’t found a brewery quite like Slow Pour.  Not sure about Laurel, but I was kind of feeling like Dorothy and not being in Kansas, or Georgia, anymore. 

As I often do, let me divert for just a minute.  The other day, Laurel and I were getting haircuts, we’ve found a very nice young lady, and she does both of our hair, and we were there back-to-back.  As I was getting my hair cut, we were talking to Jesy, OK, Jesy was talking to us, and as is normal, Jesy was sharing way too much about her life.  Jesy is a wonderful young lady, but my God, she has a shit life.  The amount of drama she deals with in her family, and shares with us, is overwhelming.  But the amazing thing is, Jesy is always so upbeat and positive.  I have no idea how.  Then she said those magic words, when she was discussing her relationship with her uncle, who had just died, compared to her relationship with her father:

“Appreciation, not Expectation”

As I sat in the chair, I had this urge to tell Laurel, “Quick, write that down for me!”, but I didn’t, so I wouldn’t embarrass Jesy.  Thankfully, it wasn’t that hard to remember, even for me, and I thought a lot about what she said.  I know, I took you on a detour, but I really believe it helps to gain the context of the story.

“A Perfect Sunday”

Last Sunday, we got to experience a perfect Sunday.  I’ll do my best to capture it for you, but I’m sure I won’t ever be able to fully express how perfect it was.

We have hit summer of course, and one of the great benefits to me of summer is outdoor yoga.  As many of you know, I love yoga, and what I love more than yoga is outdoor yoga.  There’s just something about it, yoga is such a spiritual journey, but taking a spiritual journey out in nature?  That is at the top of my list.  Yoga and nature combined, two of my favorite things in life, how could it be better?  Well, it could.

Anne Weidinger is a yoga teacher that Laurel and I have come to know in the past year or so.  As many of you know, while I love yoga, I’m still a relative novice, and I’m really a novice when it comes to teaching yoga.  I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for anyone who teaches yoga, it’s not that easy, and I have found that all the teachers I’ve ever had bring something special to a class.  There are some though that are on a much higher plain, and Anne is one of them.  I’ve never had anything but an incredible class from Anne.

Anne arranged for a yoga class at Mitchell’s Berries, a small farm about a half hour away from us.  The entire week before, the weather was sweltering, just unbelievably hot and dry.  Probably not ideal weather for outdoor yoga, but I would take anything.

That morning, we got our first rain in quite a while, and Anne delayed the start for an hour, to fit the class in between raindrops.  As we drove out to Plain City, the skies looked threatening still, and we wondered if we’d be doing yoga in the rain or doing yoga at all.  We got to the farm, and as we headed toward the field, the clouds were still heavy, there was a gentle breeze, and after 90-degree weather for a week or so, it was a bit chilly.

As we started doing yoga, there was a bit of a menagerie of weather going on.  Gentle breezes, stronger breezes, huge puffy clouds, large dark clouds, and moments of blinding sun, when it was no longer chilly, but really hot.  The only thing missing was some form of precipitation, but it felt so good to feel so much weather on my skin.

The sounds were incredible, all sorts of different birds throughout the fields and trees.  The wind rustling through the trees and the plants created such a feeling of peace.  The smell of the country, particularly after a nice rain, was so refreshing. 

The yoga was of course amazing, it always is with Anne, and as I said, doing yoga in nature is just such a beautiful gift.  One of the few benefits of COVID that I learned, since we had to do yoga outdoors a lot, is that balancing on an uneven surface is much easier for me than balancing on a hard floor, which I know, seems counterintuitive.  And the opportunities to find a Drishti in nature are numerous, a tree, a bush, a clover, a bird (no, that won’t work, but still fun to watch!).  The other fun thing about these outdoor events is the people that come to them, there are some that we know well, some we barely know, and some we’ve never met before.  These events attract a wide array of people, and it’s really fun to share that experience with some familiar and some not so familiar faces.

It didn’t end there though.  Part of our package was the opportunity to pick raspberries and black raspberries.  While I grew up in the middle of cornfields when I was younger, I don’t think I have ever picked berries in my life.  This was a brand-new experience for me.  I ended up with the black raspberries’ assignment, and my instructions were the blacker the better, and if they don’t come off the vine easily, they’re not ready.  As I wandered around, I’d find a black one, and go to pick it, and then, wait, that one is blacker, wait, that one is blacker, how can there be so many shades of black?  So, I reverted more toward, do they come off the vine easily?  It was going fine until I investigated my pint basket and saw after 15-20 minutes, I had maybe 10 berries in the very bottom of the basket.  This could take days to complete.  But do you know what?  So what.  I’m out in the middle of farm country, on a beautiful day, picking berries.  So what if it takes all day.

The best part of course is that I got to share all of this with Laurel.  She is the one who introduced me to yoga, and I’m forever thankful for that.  I love going to yoga with her, when I lose my way, I always look to her for guidance to figure out what the hell I’m doing wrong.  We go for walks every day in nature, it’s so much fun to look at the ducks, bunnies, birds, frogs, various trees and plants, whatever nature has for us that day, and point out something new to each other that day.

I’ll go back to what Jesy said, “appreciation not expectation”.  Maybe it was the change in the weather, maybe it was no idea what to expect because of the weather, maybe it was the group of people that show up for outdoor yoga, maybe it was picking berries for the first time in my life, maybe it was Laurel finding not one, but two, four-leaf clovers, but I really had no real or strong expectation.  I was just able to appreciate every aspect of the experience, doing something I love, out in nature, which I love, with the person I love more than anything.  Yes, it was a perfect Sunday.

Making a Difference

 Have you ever read those stories on the internet or Facebook that are just beautiful and wonderful moments of serendipity?  A young person was having a really hard time at school, and someone, out of the blue, came up and gave them a bouquet of flowers.  An old, homeless man was sitting on a park bench, no money, no food, and a kind stranger came up, cleaned him up, fed him, made him feel like a human being again?  Someone planned to end it all and commit suicide that day, and out of nowhere someone did something kind for them, made them feel special, and they chose a different path.  When you read those stories, did you ever just want to call bullshit and say this is just a ploy from some creative person providing us a fictional account just to try to make us feel good?  I know I’d get sucked in for a moment, but then I’d say, nah, bullshit, this is too perfect.

OK, my story isn’t perfect, but my story is real, and because it’s real and happened to me, I find it incredibly beautiful.  So here is how it goes:

As some of you know, I’ve been on a journey with depression most of my adult life.  It ebbs and flows, sometimes I rise up, sometimes I plummet.  The reality I’ve come to know is that there’s no cure, there are coping mechanisms, but no cure.  Recently, I plummeted.  Not unusual, but what really troubled me this time is that I was thinking about killing myself.  Now, before anyone gets too excited, I really don’t believe I’d ever go through with it, I subscribe to the “It’s a Wonderful Life” philosophy where if you knew the impact you had on the world, you’d never kill yourself.  As much as I don’t see it, I believe that if I got to play Jimmy Stewart and see my life and the impact I had on people, I would see I made a positive impact in many cases.  

Also, I got to see the devastation my brother Billy’s suicide created for all of us, I can’t imagine Billy would have ever done it if he would have known what his act did to all of us, but I also understand where he was at.  In the immortal words of my brother when someone asked him how he knows so much about suicide, he said:

“I think about it every God damn day”

And that had become my reality, I started thinking about it every God damn day, and I was even coming up with how I would do it.  Each method I came up with had some flaws to it, which again, made me think or realize, I probably wasn’t that serious, but the fact that I was thinking about it daily, made me take it seriously.

But enough about me, this story really isn’t about me, this story is about Ava.  Let me tell you about Ava, and what Ava did:

Ava is one of my students at Ohio Dominican University.  As I say about my children and my dogs, none of them are my favorites, all of them are my favorites.  Ava is one of those.  She’s a very good student, and also a very nice young lady.

We started Yoga Club on campus this year, and it’s been mostly a wonderful experience for me, I love teaching the students yoga, and they are just an incredibly fun group.  Ava comes to virtually every Yoga Club event, and we oftentimes get a chance to talk before or after class.

For the last Yoga Club of the year, I was a bit frustrated, the announcement of the class day and time got mixed up, so I wasn’t completely sure if I’d have anyone in class.  Thankfully, it came together, and we did end up with a normal number of students for our last class of the year.  Still, I was a little frustrated because of the lack of clarity, I really wanted the last class to be special.  And it was.

After class, Ava gave me a card, and to just call it a card would be a horrible understatement and really a disservice to what she did.  There are many layers, but let me start at the beginning, the message on the outside of the card:

As I opened the card, I was stunned by two aspects.  One, she filled the entire inside of the card with a message for me.  Second, the writing was perfect, she had to have spent a considerable amount of time crafting the message for it to be this neat.  But then, the message itself.  It wouldn’t be fair to Ava to share the entire message, it was a personal card to me, and that’s where it needs to stay, but she weaved so much in about what yoga class meant to her, particularly the messages or stories I provided each class.

Each class I would begin with a story about various topics, such as, the Yama’s and Niyama’s, Being Kind, Our Journey is Our Gift, Did You See the Cypress Tree on the Way Here? and so on.  I would give them a card that represented that week’s message, a gift I learned from my wife, Laurel.  I wanted to teach my students yoga, not just asana, and I think many of the students embraced it, enjoyed it, but there is no doubt Ava did.  

She expressed her gratitude for my stories, my vulnerability, my compassion, and the cards that she would keep as inspiration.  I was swept away with emotion, I couldn’t believe all of the words of praise she had for me, and again, how much thought and effort she had to have put into this.  She had absolutely no obligation, no ulterior motive to put all of this effort into the card, there was no grade or bonus points to be earned, she did this purely as an act of kindness, of gratitude, of appreciation.  She did this for me, and for one of the few moments in my life, I felt like maybe I was making an impact.  Of course, I had that moment where I thought to myself, I don’t deserve this, if she only knew what was running through my mind every day, she wouldn’t have written this and thought this about me.  But maybe she did, and maybe she still would have, but who knows, because even I wouldn’t be that honest to tell Ava how much her card meant in my life and why it meant so much.

So why am I telling all of you?  I also subscribe to the philosophy of Mother Teresa:

I will admit, this one takes me to a whole new level, broadcasting to all of you my thoughts about killing myself is even out there for me.  But after much thought and consideration, I felt like I needed to share Ava’s story and what her card meant to me.

I believe everyone has a purpose in life, and maybe this is my purpose.  I would always say about my blog posts that if just one person reads my blog and gets something out of it, then I would consider it a success.  I’m hopeful that at least one of you reads this story, and becomes the next Ava.  It doesn’t have to be as grand and beautiful as what Ava did, but even a small act of kindness and appreciation can mean a lot to someone who desperately needs it.  Just like Ava, you may never know the huge impact you made, but just the thought of the possibility that you helped someone when they needed it the most, wouldn’t that feel great?  It may not end up being like one of those magical, beautiful internet stories, but it will be your story.  You can make such a difference with simple, small acts of kindness.  Believe me, I know, it made such a difference for me.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Elisha left Jericho to go to Bethel, and on the way some boys came out of a town and made fun of him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they shouted.

Elisha turned around, glared at them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys to pieces.

The passage above is from Second Kings 2:23-24, or for those who own the God Bless the USA Bible, you may be more familiar with it as Two Kings 2:23-24.

There are clearly some odd passages in the Bible, but I’ve often found this one to be potentially the most bizarre.  There are so many aspects to it: the boys calling Elisha baldy; Elisha cursing them in the name of the Lord; the specificity of two she-bears; the specificity of 42 of the boys being torn to pieces; and of course, the fact that they were killed for having the audacity to call Elisha baldy.  

I’ve had various people try to explain this passage to me, but quite frankly, I really don’t need nor want any explanation.  I know some believe that the Bible is the inerrant or infallible word of God, it was inspired by God, and to question it at all, is sacrilegious.  Call me sacrilegious, whether it’s this passage or various other passages in the Old Testament, I find many to be hard to accept as truly being inspired by God, or maybe to put it another way, if it is, I’m not so sure that’s the God I want to follow.

Which brings me in a convoluted way to the point of this post.  The more and more I hear from Christian Nationalists, I believe this is the God that they worship.   I’m beginning to wonder if they thought the Bible stopped at Malachi, and never went forward into Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, etc.  The New Testament introduced us to Jesus, the one God sent to save us all, but it seems that Christian Nationalists only want saving for a specific group of people – them.  They want the fires of Hell to swallow up anyone who doesn’t follow what they believe.  Ever since the gays came out of the closet, the people of color found a voice, immigrants stole their jobs or Fox “News” declared there was a war on Christmas, they’ve been disgruntled.  But now they have hope.

They now have a true savior, God has sent Donald Trump to save us all, to restore order to this country, to make America great again.  While I struggle with some of the writings of the Old Testament, I do firmly believe that God sent Jesus to provide us salvation.  And I believe that salvation applies to many, and I’m really not willing to predict who gets into Heaven and who doesn’t, but if there is some sort of test or if the key is through works, I’m afraid most of us would fail, and we wouldn’t get in.  I still firmly believe it’s through grace, and I’m very thankful for that.

Now this concept of God sending Donald Trump to save us kind of has me perplexed because I really don’t see many of the same qualities in Donald Trump as Jesus.  I can’t piece together the whole “God, Guns & Trump” with the Sermon on the Mount, something just doesn’t click.  I wonder if maybe, just maybe, if God did send Donald Trump, He may have sent him to destroy America?  If I were one of those who believed God sent Donald Trump, I would be concerned about that.  

Do I think it?  Oh, Heavens no!  I really don’t believe that’s how God operates, and besides, He has way too many more important things to worry about than the downfall of America.  Plus, He probably thinks we’re doing a pretty good job as it is.

Recently I saw some commentary from Glenn Beck about the Hamas attack on Israel.  He described how brutal they were, how evil, and “we do not serve the same God.”  Do we serve the same God as the Crusades?  Do we serve the same God as Nazi Germany, where they professed “God with us”.  Do we serve the same God as the Confederate States of America?  Do we serve the same God as the Ku Klux Klan?  Do we serve the same God as those who mercilessly murdered anyone who resembled a Muslim after 9/11?  It may feel good to believe we are better than those of other religions, but our history is also filled with many instances of cruelty and brutality.  I assume Mr. Beck forgot the words of Jesus, “he who is without sin, cast the first stone.”

While I may not agree with you in supporting Donald Trump (then again, I’m not really excited to support Joe Biden either), I have no issue with your right to do that, that’s politics.  But please, keep religion out of it, there is a reason we have a separation of religion and politics, and it should stay that way.  I wish when people tried to bring the two together, and create some sort of union between God and the United States, they’d look back at history and see how well it worked for Germany with Adolf Hitler.  

As far as the Christian Nationalists and God’s plan for this nation?  Again, I think they better hope that God didn’t send Donald Trump, I don’t believe that would be a positive thing for us.  But then again, they seem to want the God who would send 42 she-bears to tear apart little boys for a terrible insult to one of his prophets.  As for me, I’ll continue to follow, and be thankful for, the God who sent Jesus, whose words don’t seem to coincide with “God, Guns & Trump”.  By the way, this is from Matthew 5: 2-12, it’s in the New Testament for those who didn’t read that far:

And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons[a] of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.  Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Really not a whole lot about “greatness”, whatever that really means.  If you’re hung up on making America great again, that’s great, but again, what Jesus talks about is poor, mourn, meek, hunger, thirst, etc.  Not many greatness descriptors, but again, Jesus was all about those that are lesser than.  He really didn’t seem to be hung up on greatness.

At the end of the day though, somehow, we all have to figure out how to come together and work together.  While I believe that Christian Nationalists are some of the most evil and hate-filled people in the world, they probably think awful thoughts about me too.  We have one country, one world, and we are really screwing it up.  Somehow, we have to figure out how to work together, whether we are Christian Nationalists, devoted followers of Jesus, Hamas, Jews, Ukrainians, Russians, Muslims, Hindus, Republicans, Democrats, it doesn’t matter, we are in this together.  

Yes, I’m probably completely delusional, we’ve been at war with each other since before Jesus walked the earth, nothing will probably change that, we will most likely destroy each other and our world.  But, I’ll reach way back to a poem by John Donne, which to me really hits home what this is all about:

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee”

If I succeed, and you fail, we all fail.  If you succeed, and I fail, we all fail.  We live and die together, it’s that simple really.  But then again, I’m just a nobody.  With a purpose.

Oh well, I should probably be prepared for some she-bears to come and tear me to pieces for insulting Christian Nationalists.

Where Have You Gone, Adam Kinzinger?

 A Nation Turns Its Lonely Eyes To You

Woo, woo, woo

As many of you know, I’m a huge fan of Simon & Garfunkel, so I couldn’t resist.  But of course, I digress.

Where have you gone, Adam Kinzinger?  Or Liz Cheney.  Or Paul Ryan.  As I proudly carry the label “RINO” as

a badge of honor, I put forth various Republicans who have held office, who I would gladly vote for.  I’m sure there are more on both sides of the aisle.  Doesn’t anyone with some semblance of intelligence, who isn’t old as dirt, want to be President anymore?  It used to be that young politicians grew through the ranks and strived to reach the highest office, President of the United States.  I really can’t remember the last “up and comer” that was out there, that everyone viewed as a strong Presidential candidate.

 And what are we left with?

On one side we have the incumbent, Ralphie.  I think most of us would agree Ralphie was a great kid, good intentions, grew up into a relatively good adult, seems like a good guy, ended up a Democrat, but I won’t hold that against him completely.  But, and here’s the big but….  He’s 81 years old.  If he gets elected, he’d be 86 when he finishes office, if he doesn’t die before then. 

On the other side we have Scott Farkus.  I think most of us would agree that Scott Farkus was an asshole as a kid, and at least for me, I find that he’s even a bigger asshole as an adult.  Plus he’s a con artist and a criminal.  Oh, and by the way, while he would depict Ralphie as old and senile, he’s “only” 77 years old.  If he gets elected, he’d be 82 when he finishes office, if he doesn’t die before then.

Recently I was having a phone call with Bob McDonald, my son-in-law Tom’s brother, and Bob asked my opinion on age and politics.  I had really been thinking a lot about this recently, and I told Bob, I think the maximum age to run for President should be 52, that way if you get re-elected, you’d be leaving office at about 60 years old.  I think that should be the maximum.  Now, having said it and rethought it a bit, I would put the maximum age a bit higher, maybe 58-60, but no higher.

The rationale for my thoughts on this?  I know at 63, I’m not nearly as sharp or quick as I was at say 53.  I don’t have quite the stamina or the ability to work extremely long hours.  And based on some of my colleagues and former colleagues, I would say it goes for them also.  I just don’t believe anyone in their 60’s or past their 60’s should be holding the most important position in our country.  Think about it, all of us are encouraged to retire sometime in our late 60’s, and there’s a reason for that, we just don’t have what we used to when it comes to a sharp mind and stamina.

One of the best examples of this is Ronald Reagan.  Still probably my favorite President, President Reagan clearly struggled during his second term, when he was in his mid-70’s.  There were many rumors about dementia and issues running the government due to his cognitive abilities.  He simply wasn’t as sharp toward the end, and he is on the younger side of either Ralphie or Scott Farkus.

 Maybe, just maybe, it’s us?

As noted, we don’t seem to have any younger politicians who want to rise through the ranks and make it to the most important position in the country.  Maybe there’s a reason for that.  It used to be, while we had a liberal and conservative side, we used to begrudgingly seek compromise to move the country forward. We now have more and more of a huge gap between the two sides, and, in many cases, each side is willing to sacrifice the good of the country to further their own goals.  Why would anyone want to preside over that?

We like to hold ourselves out as the greatest country, but I think it’s a sad indictment of this country that no one of a reasonable age and intelligence wants to hold the highest office.  Think about it, would you want to?  Would you want to deal with the far left day in and day out?  Would you want to put up with the Freedom Caucus, who can’t even get along with the rest of their own party?  No thank you, I’ll pass.  But we’re the ones who put these people in office, and have kept them in office.  Maybe, just maybe, we’re the problem, and we’re the only ones who can fix it.  Based on all the rhetoric I’ve seen from both sides, I don’t see us fixing this, just as our politicians are moving further into the extreme, so are we. 

 So this is the best we’ve got?

As I look ahead, it appears very apparent that these are the two choices we have.  On one side, a nice, old man, who does not, or will not, have the mental capabilities to be President.  And on the other hand, a mean, old man, who not only does not, or will not, have the mental capabilities to be President, but is also a criminal and a con artist.  So in November, I’ll go into the voting booth, throw up a little in my mouth, and vote for a potentially senile, old man since I made it clear several years ago, I’d vote for a pile of my dog’s poop before I’d vote for Scott Farkus.  Ralphie kicked the shit out of Scott Farkus a couple times already, I hope he’s up for one more round, but for me, it will be a hollow victory. 

 As we inch closer to election day, November 5, I’ll continue to hope and pray that somehow the Republicans will get their shit together and put forth someone reasonable to run for President.  I don’t think they’ll ever get Adam Kinzinger out of retirement, but I’d settle for and embrace someone like Nikki Haley.  There is no doubt the Democrats won’t abandon an incumbent, so there is no hope on that side.  And quite frankly, there is probably no hope for any of us, but then again, we created this pigsty, so I guess we’ll have to wallow in it.