Life Lessons

 Unfortunately, you’ll probably have to learn these on your own

I recently posted one of my teaching techniques, “50 Shades of Fraud”, which I also expanded into another segment “What Would You Do?”  I use these as real-life examples of work situations, and I allow the students to tell me what they would have done in the situation before I tell them how I addressed the issue.  As I noted, in many cases, my students had a solution that I found better than how I handled it, but I obviously can’t change history.

Another technique I was planning on utilizing was telling my students “Life Lessons” that I learned over my life and career, but I deferred this one simply because we really need to learn our own life lessons for them to be most effective.  I can tell them all I want, what I learned, how I learned it, but I truly believe for a life lesson to be most effective, you really need to experience it fully.  There is one I do share because I believe it’s an important one for them to hear, and I’ll leave that one to the end. 

There are many more I could highlight here, I’ve unfortunately had many painful moments that have taught me a lot, and a few not so painful, but I’ll stop at the top ten I can think of:

Every Life Experience on the Journey is Valuable, Even the Hard Ones

The best illustration I can give of this one is working for a horrible boss.  I’ve had a few, two in particular, and it was extremely painful to work for them.  They were narcistic, habitual liars, had no respect for their employees, and really weren’t very kind or considerate people.  Most days, I dreaded being around them or having to work with them.

What I learned though is how I didn’t want to be treated, and I learned how not to treat people who work for me.  To be honest, I probably learned more from these bad experiences than anything else.  They were the antithesis of good bosses, or even good people, and it gave me role models not to strive for.

Ignorance is a Better Option than Bullshit

When I was at Barco Simulation, my supervisor in Belgium was Michel Vandeplas.  Michel was brilliant, a very smart person, who really knew our industry well.  Michel would ask lots of questions, and after a while, I figured out that in most cases, Michel already knew the answer, he wanted to see if I knew the answer.

Once I got smarter, I learned to just tell him, “I don’t know, but I’ll find out”.  I’d go back, research the issue, and give him a proper answer. 

Not everyone learned this lesson unfortunately, and it could be really difficult for salespeople in particular.  Michel would ask a question, and I’d be dying to advise the salesperson to defer on an answer, but they couldn’t help themselves.  They just had to answer.  The most painful was when one of our salespeople said he was working on a project with a university, and Michel asked what state was that university in?  The salesperson answered, he picked the wrong state, and of course, Michel knew the correct state and knew that the project was bullshit.

People Are Watching You

One of my less favorable traits is that I carry my emotions in my expressions.  When you are in a leadership role, that isn’t necessarily a good trait to have.

There were times when I was a Chief Financial Officer or General Manager, when I was deep in thought, and I would be walking around the building, scowling, thinking or worrying about something.  The next thing you know, there would be rumors or concerns about what horrible tragedy was happening in the company.  Eventually the rumor would work its way to me, and I’d have to assure everyone that the world wasn’t coming to an end, I just looked like it was.

Thankfully, the one person who worked for me for a great deal of time, Nancy Cox-Lupori, wouldn’t put up with it.  She’d come in and tell me, “Wipe that Snoopy-look off your face!”  It’s always good to have someone who can be brutally honest with you.

If You’re Trying to Prove You’re the Smartest Person in the Room, You’re Probably Not

When I was at WIKA, there were two individuals, we affectionately called Yogi and Boo Boo.  They used to love to pontificate on whatever the topic of the day was, going on these meandering speeches, using big words to impress, and never really coming to a point.  As our eyes would glaze over, one of my colleagues would often say, “What’s your solution?"  They never had one, they just liked to hear themselves talk and show us all how incredibly smart they were.

One of my other colleagues used to say, “If they think they’re the smartest person in the room, they’re obviously not, because Felix is.”  Some may disagree, but most of the time, Felix was either the smartest or one of the smartest, but you wouldn’t find him trying to prove it.  He didn’t need to.

Politics Unfortunately Do Matter

I’ve seen many examples of this in my career, but probably the best one is Michael Gerster, who was then the President of WIKA Instruments in the US.  In 2014, we were in the midst of a record sales year, record profitability year, we were just crushing it that year. 

Easter weekend, I was out of town visiting my son Sean at college, and I got the call that Michael had been fired.  The shock and sadness were devastating.  I couldn’t believe it, but in a way, I could.

I was copied on all of the board minutes from WIKA Headquarters in Germany, and when I read them, there was always a negative spin to everything we were doing.  No matter how good our numbers were, something was said to rain on our accomplishments.  I would bring the minutes to Michael, I would express my concern, but Michael would brush it aside, he said there was nothing to worry about.

And that was just it.  Michael just didn’t play the political games.  He did a great job, he was a great leader, but he didn’t manage his boss, and he didn’t manage his peers.  He had no clue he was in trouble, and he didn’t realize at that level, politics do matter.

Yogi Berra Was Wrong, It’s Not Deja-Vu All Over Again

Again, I could give various examples of this, but the best one I can highlight is when I took over as

General Manager at WIKA Sensor Technology.  It was virtually identical to when I took over as General Manager at Barco Simulation.  My time at Barco Simulation was probably the most fulfilling experience of my career, and I thought I was heading for a repeat performance.

Sadly, it was very far from the truth, and there were so many reasons for that, but part of it was probably my attitude going in.  I had an expectation from my prior experience, and I thought I could duplicate it, and even do it better based on my past experience.  Wow, was I ever wrong, it was a different situation, different company, different people, different industry, and really, a different me.  You can’t just go into a situation thinking it will be just like something you’ve done previously, there are way too many variables to take anything for granted.

Words Are Like Bullets, Once They’re Out, You Can’t Get Them Back

Another one where I have so many great examples, but I’ll pick the best, and it happens to be a personal one with Laurel.

Years ago, we were trying to sell our house, it wasn’t going well, and I was losing my mind.  OK, that’s a common occurrence for me, but I was desperate to control our financial situation.  So I developed an incredibly brilliant plan.  I would introduce a Purchase Order Policy within the home!  I think I’m already hearing sounds of horror coming from anyone reading this.

The one Sunday morning, it just happened to be Mother’s Day, I introduced the concept to Laurel.  As I did, and I saw the look on Laurel’s face, I was visualizing reaching my hands out and dragging those words back into my mouth, so that she wouldn’t hear them and wouldn’t have that look on her face.  No, too late, the words were out, they hit the target and exploded.  There was no getting them back.

Set Realistic Expectations for Yourself and Everyone Around You

I wish I could say that I’ve learned and improved on this one, but for the most part, I haven’t.  In so many instances in my work and personal life, I set conquering the sun, the moon, the stars as my goal, and when I only conquer the sun and moon, I’m disappointed. 

I was never satisfied with what I, or more importantly we, accomplished, and I always wanted more, to hit those unrealistic targets I set for my team and me.  If you always set your sights too high, you’ll never hit the mark, and you will forever be disappointed.  I’m trying now, but still, I’ll be grading tests, and when the grades aren’t quite where I’d like them to be, all A’s of course, I dwell on what did I do wrong teaching this topic?  Still, a work in progress.

No One Went to Their Grave Wishing They Worked More

This is the one I share with my students, because I believe it’s so valuable for them to hear.  At various points in my career, I put work first and foremost above anything else.  This was particularly true when I worked at Barco Simulation.  There was at least one year, probably more, where I pitched a shutout.  I missed all four children’s birthdays, Laurel’s birthday, our anniversary, and my birthday.  I was out of town for every special moment, and that doesn’t count all of the games, concerts, Halloween or whatever else I missed along the way.

Of course, you can’t get those back.  I tell my students, don’t be like me.  Live your life, have a balanced life, enjoy your life.  Don’t wait until it’s too late.  

You’re Never Too Old to Learn.  And Change.

When I finally figured out that I bled Barco red, but that really didn’t ultimately matter in the big scheme of life, I changed.  Sure, I still worked hard, but I worked on balancing my life.  I spent time on the important things in my life, not just trying to outwork anyone and everyone.  I’ll bring Felix back into this, once I told Felix, “I can outwork anyone!”, and Felix replied, “That’s really not a good thing.”

And after watching Laurel practice yoga for many years, I finally took it up about seven years ago, and it has been one of the greatest life-changers I could experience.  And finally, about two years ago, I learned to breathe.  For those of you who know how to breathe, you get it, and for those who don’t, it is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.  You’re never too old to learn.

I’ll stop at 10, for those who know me, you know I have many stories of screw-ups where I learned a very valuable lesson, but I figure 10 is enough.  And as noted, we typically have to learn these on our own.  I can tell you what it’s like to try to introduce a Purchase Order Policy to your spouse, but you may have to learn that one on your own.  Seriously, don’t do it, it’s a bad, bad idea.  Trust me on that one.