Kindness, Simple Kindness

 “This is a sermon about kindness, simple kindness.  It’s a sermon about the opportunities that we have, all of us, …to treat other people with gentleness, meekness, tenderness, mercy, and kindness.  Sometimes we do; sometimes we don’t, but you know what I’m talking about.  I’m talking about kindness, simple kindness.”  Dr. Thomas Long, from the sermon, “Be Kind, Be Kind, Be Kind”

I first heard this sermon in I’m guessing the late 80’s or early 90’s.  Dr. Long came to Westminster Presbyterian Church in Dayton, Ohio as a guest minister one Sunday, and this sermon probably captured me more than any other sermon I ever heard in my life. 

When I say “first heard”, there is a reason for that.  This sermon moved me so much that I got a copy of it from the church on cassette (yes, I know, many years ago, and I’m that old), and I’d listen to it in my car on my drives to and from work.  I can’t even recall how many times I listened to this sermon, but it was countless times, and I can still hear it and see Dr. Long preaching it.  I can’t remember if the tape finally broke, or I got rid of my car and no longer had a cassette deck, but eventually, I didn’t have the opportunity to listen to it anymore.  Thankfully, there is the internet these days, and I found a copy of it on a website.

There are so many reasons why this sermon touched me, but I think one of the biggest reasons why was Dr. Long gave so many vivid examples of people who needed our kindness:

• The woman running the cash register at the local grocery store who’s had a really long day.
• The guy at work who is constantly complaining and spreading negativity throughout the organization.
• The lonely neighbor who just needs someone to listen to them.
• The homeless man who is looking for some spare change as you are leaving Starbucks.

We come across these people every day, and we can choose to be kind, or we can pass them over and move on to what is more important in our lives.  For the most part, it’s easy to ignore these people, and not give them a moment’s notice.  It’s easy to ignore them, unless you see them in the light of God.  As Dr. Long further states:

“To put it bluntly, in the Bible, kindness is an act of civil disobedience.  It’s a refusal to treat people according to the customs and the mores and the traditions of the status quo of the world around us and an insistence on seeing them and treating them in light of who they will become in God’s future”

I recently saw one of those Facebook posts, and I always wonder, is this real or just a fabrication?  It was one of those stories where a person had reached the end of their rope, and they had planned on committing suicide that day.  They worked in customer service, and someone was so friendly, so kind to them, that they changed their mind, and they didn’t commit suicide.  That person obviously had changed their life forever.  While the story may be a fabrication, I still believe it provides a teaching moment.

My experience wasn’t quite the same, not quite that dramatic, but in that moment, it definitely meant a lot to me.  As I shared in my latest blog post, I had a deep plunge recently, and I was pretty down.  No, I wasn’t suicidal, but I certainly had my share of irrational thoughts running through my head.  It just so happened that I had an interaction with a colleague at work, and it made an incredible difference for me.  She had various kind words for me, but she also shared a couple of meme’s or sayings that really touched me. 

Now the one was funny, as you can see:

It made me laugh, and it also for some reason made me think of one of my favorite quotes and words to live by from Nadia Bolz-Weber:

“I’m baptized, so fuck off”

I’m starting to believe I need to rename my blog site since I use this quote so often anymore, but as usual, I digress.  While I don’t have as many issues with people getting down on me for not being perfect, I have plenty of voices inside of my head telling me what a screw-up I am.  So I did enjoy this picture and the sentiment of it.

The one I really enjoyed was this one:

It reminded me so much of an excerpt from Glennon Doyle’s “Love Warrior”:

"We think our job as humans is to avoid pain, our job as parents is to protect our children from pain, and our job as friends is to fix each other's pain.  Maybe that's why we all feel like failures so often - because we all have the wrong job description for love."

And more recently, I read the following from Rolf Gates:

“We are in a hurry to escape the pain we have been in and are still contending with, but our haste is self-defeating.  Do not walk so fast.  The pain you wish to escape is everywhere.  Do not walk so fast.  The grace you seek is everywhere.”

We have this concept of life that we should only embrace the good, the favorable, the enjoyable.  But we also have to embrace the painful, the dark, the fears.  Too many times I’ve let those irrational, devastating thoughts take over and push me further and further down.  I’ve learned, with some success, I need to just let them be, let them simmer, let them bounce around in my head, until it’s time for them to go away and be replaced with something more pleasant.  Key phrase, some success.

In the end though, it comes back to kindness, simple kindness.  Maybe, just maybe, this interaction with a colleague helped me embrace the pain I was going through and not let it take over until I could move to a better place.  Have you experienced this kind of kindness?  Have you made someone’s day with a kind word?  Has someone made your day with a kind word?  In the end, it’s just not that hard, and it can make all of the difference.  No, you may not keep someone from committing suicide, but maybe you’ll be the one voice of love and compassion for someone among all of the negative voices they hear each day.  

Dr. Long closed his sermon with these words from Henry James:

“There are only three things important in human life: be kind, be kind, be kind.”