Living a Dream

 What did you want to be when you grew up?  I wanted to be a baseball player!  I wanted to be a pitcher like Bob Gibson, or more like Vida Blue, because he was left-handed like me, and he pitched for the Oakland A’s, my favorite baseball team, next to the Pirates.

OK, that dream died quickly because I really wasn’t that good of a baseball pitcher.  As I grew up, as I prepared for college and throughout college, I wanted to be a sportswriter.  I would eat and breathe anything related to sports or writing, I devoted myself to honing my skills to become the best sportswriter I could possibly be.

A funny thing happened along the way.  Apparently, the dream of writing for a newspaper became virtually everyone’s dream, because at one point, statistics said that if every journalist died today, there would be two coming out of college to replace them.  If I were lucky, I could find a job at a small, local paper, starting off writing obituaries and announcements, and maybe, I could eventually work my way up to writing real news stories.  While I’m sure some or many were willing to pay those dues, I wasn’t, I gave up that dream, and lived the dream of most young people, I became an accountant.

Because of my love of literature and writing, I also had a dream to write a book.  To a certain extent, that dream was even bigger.  I don’t know if any of you have tried, but writing a book is incredibly hard work.  It takes a great deal of thought, planning, imagination, perseverance, pain, suffering, and, oh yeah, talent.  At one point, many years ago, I wrote a short novel, but I can safely say, it really wasn’t very good.  I have no idea what I ever did with it, I just didn’t see any real value in what I had produced.

A new dream crept in recently, and this one really came out of nowhere.  About two years ago, I completed my Yoga Teacher Training and became a Registered Yoga Teacher.  Now, the main reason I did this was purely to learn more about yoga, I had no aspirations to teach or do anything with the certification.  Out of the blue, I want to own a yoga studio! Spoiler alert, I don’t own a yoga studio.  I did research it though, I read how to start one, looked at properties, considered getting some consulting from studio owners, but I never took it past the thought stages.

Do you ever wonder, what separates those who live their dream and those who just, well, dream?  Specifically, I’m referring to the old saying or challenge you would get growing up, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”  For whatever reason, some of us nail it, and some of us don’t.  What separates those who succeed from those who still dream about success or gave up on that dream long ago?

As you can possibly tell, I’ve put a lot of thought into this one.  I’m fascinated by the difference, the edge, the drive that some people have that others don’t.  I’m going to share three stories with you, people I’ve had the opportunity to live vicariously through.  It will become obvious why I picked them, but they lived their dreams, and they lived dreams that in essence parallel mine, but they made it happen.  I’ll share their stories, and I’ll share my thoughts on how or why they succeeded, by knowing them or simply watching them.

Are you out of your fucking mind?

Dejan Kovacevic just passed the 10^th anniversary of launching his online sports journalism outlet, DK Pittsburgh Sports.  He has created an incredible website that provides outstanding coverage for all the sports teams in Pittsburgh.  The success of this site is amazing, and really, is incomparable.  

I’ve followed Mr. Kovacevic’s writing for many years, back when he was a writer for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, and then with the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.  When he created his own forum, I abandoned all the other news outlets and moved to his site.

There are good reporters or sportswriters out there, but Mr. Kovacevic is not just that.  He is an incredible writer, who can create a beautiful story, who just happens to write about sports.  I’ve read good sports writers in my lifetime, but there are few, very few, who can bring such life, such humanity to a sports story, and I love to read whatever he writes.  As I noted in a previous blog, he could write about bocci ball, badminton, curling, whatever, I’d read it, even though I’ve quit watching sports.  He is just that good.  And probably the best piece I’ve ever read from him is the story of how he launched this site 10 years ago, it was a work of art, detailing the reaction from a friend (noted above), the discussions with his incredibly supportive wife, Dali, and just the whole process of how this came to be.

I had the privilege of visiting his headquarters/shop recently, and I got to meet and talk to Mr. Kovacevic for the first time ever, and it didn’t disappoint at all.  What I loved the most was hearing him talk about the writing process, I had just commented on his piece from the previous night’s Pirate game, and how much I loved it.  He explained to me that he missed an opportunity and didn’t quite capture the story as he would have liked to have.  That is why he is so good, even when he produced a great story, he felt it could have been better. 

Blood, sweat and tears

Many years ago, when I worked at Barco, I had a colleague at our headquarters in Belgium, Ann Galland, who worked in marketing.  I knew Ann, we had a professional relationship, but honestly, not a strong one, simply because she was in marketing, and I was a Chief Financial Officer, our paths didn’t often cross.  We had a good professional relationship, but that was about it.

We became Facebook friends, and over the last few years, I had noticed Ann wrote a novel, titled “Aroma”, I think back in 2022.  I was fascinated how in the world she did this, as noted, it’s an incredible amount of work.  I would read her posts on Facebook, and I’d see book signings, information on how well her book was doing, book reviews, whatever Ann posted about her book.

Much to my surprise, this year Ann published another novel, “Bitter”, which also has done incredibly well.  I must confess, I haven’t read them, when I looked on Amazon, it only had a Dutch version, so I can’t comment on how good they are.  But it’s safe for me to say, based on some of the reviews I’ve seen, she’s done quite a good job.  Some examples:

• "Bitter" is an immersive reading experience that exceeds expectations
• For fans of subtly written stories full of emotions and depth, this book is an absolute must-read
• Ann Galland proves her talent once again, and "Bitter" stands proudly alongside her predecessor as a strong novel full of intriguing characters and unexpected twists

After seeing all the reviews and success of her second novel, I reached out to Ann, and simply asked, what is the secret of her success?  Her response was relatively simple:

“There is no secret….it is just blood, sweat and tears.  Hard work.  I think, and being lucky that the market notices you have written something that is a lot better than average?

I get the first part, I’m sure she worked incredibly hard on this.  Not sure she gives herself enough credit for the second part, she obviously has written some very good novels, and while there could always be a certain level of luck involved, I think it probably pales in comparison to the quality of what she has written.

You will do great things

Have you ever met someone, and quickly you realize you are in the presence of someone special?  That’s the way I felt when I met Carley DeMarco. 

About two years ago, I did my Yoga Teacher Training with Carley and eight other young ladies, and while all of them possessed certain gifts, Carley had something special about her.  She was incredibly bright, knowledgeable about many topics, very articulate, a vociferous worker, she seemed to be involved in so many endeavors, I had no idea how she was able to do so much.

After a period, as we were walking through the woods at our YTT training center, I made that comment to Carley, I started it off with “You are doing great things, and you will do great things”.  She is one of those people who you know will be incredibly successful at something, or whatever, they set their mind to.

As we all left our yoga training, some of us, many of us, felt we probably wouldn’t teach yoga, we just wanted the experience.  Carley did plan to teach, but she took it to a whole new level.  Carley opened a yoga studio in Clayton, Georgia.  Keep in mind, I think at the time, Carley was 28.  She had the courage, the business sense, the vision to open a yoga studio.  While on a certain level, I was shocked and amazed, then again, I wasn’t.  As I said, I just knew Carley was destined for doing what many of us only dream of.  While she had to deal with “messy schedules, a never-ending to-do list, and sometimes, loneliness”, she also was able to experience a “heart beating out of chest kind of excitement and a sense of purpose that comes with it”.

Which brings me to the reason or root of this post, how or why do some live a dream, and why do some just dream?  I don’t think there are any simple answers, but from my small sample size, based on people who have done or accomplished what I would have liked to have accomplished, I have a few ideas.  I don’t believe there is any secret formula, but I think there’s a mixture, and a higher dose of one rather than the other in some of the cases, but here goes:

·       You must be very talented at whatever it is.  That is clearly true for the three profiled above.

·       You must be willing to work incredibly hard.  I don’t mean just hard, I mean dedicating massive amounts of time and effort into the endeavor, and essentially living it.

·       You must be driven, insanely driven, you must have such passion for whatever that dream is, and you aren’t willing to let that dream go.  There will be times where self-doubt comes in, when you, or those close to you, believe you are insane, but that passion will override any of those doubts, and you will believe that you will succeed. 

Am I jealous?  Oh Heavens, no!  I am so happy and excited for each of them, and to be honest, it’s been fun to watch.  I love to see Ann’s posts of her books’ successes; I look forward to them and enjoy her success.  Carley is one of the most incredible people I’ve had the honor of spending time with, and I can’t wait to see what she does and how successful she becomes.  When I had the chance to finally meet Dejan Kovacevic in person, I was giddy.  For me, he is an icon of writing, and I could have listened to him talk about writing all day.  Not one bit of jealousy, I love to see how each of them has succeeded so tremendously.

Where did I fall short?  Probably on a certain level, talent.  I was a good writer, but probably not great.  When it comes to hard work, I used to say at WIKA, no one can outwork me, not necessarily something to be proud of, but I never shied away from work.  I would have to say the biggest area where I fell short was just not quite enough passion to make it happen.  I think there were too many other things, or really, too many other people that I loved too much to take any more time away from them than I already was.

And all is not lost.  Laurel and I have created a yoga space in our home, and we offer free yoga one night a week, so far.  We’re trying to provide yoga to those who can’t afford studio fees.  No, I don’t own a studio, but I’m happy with what we’ve created.

As for my writing, I’ve decided to write a children’s book.  I’m in the early stages, I have the premise, the storyline, I have a plan for the illustration, and I’ve done quite a bit of research on what makes a children’s book successful.  I have no grand plans to be an ongoing writer, but I want to at least give one book a shot. 

Alas, I think my sports writing career is well behind me, but that’s OK.  And I just don’t see myself pitching in the Major Leagues someday, but I think I can live with that.  I’ll have to let those two dreams die a much-needed death….