Where Were You?

Growing up, I heard this comment a great deal about the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.  It marked that generation, and many people talked about or compared memories of where they were when they heard that President Kennedy had been shot.  It changed that generation forever, and it changed our world forever back in the 1960’s.  Based on the fact that I was three years old at the time, I have no idea where I was when he was shot, and his assassination didn’t impact me as directly or deeply as my parents and everyone from their generation.

Our generation’s JFK Assassination is and was 9/11. It has defined us and made us who we are.  I’m not quite sure if it made us better, in many ways, I think it made us worse, but it definitely changed us.   How could it not?  Throughout history, we had never experienced such an unbelievable terrorist attack on US soil, and we weren’t prepared for it in any way whatsoever.  It was unfathomable for this to happen in the US, but it did.  It shattered our world, it shattered our sense of security, it shattered our sense of invulnerability. 

So where were you when those planes came crashing into the Twin Towers? 

At the time, I was working in Xenia, Ohio, and I was busy preparing the budget for my division, Barco Simulation, getting ready for a trip to Belgium the next week.  I was supposed to leave that weekend for Belgium to present the budget.  As the events started to unfold, various personnel at our division started talking, trying to figure out what was going on.  Soon someone got a TV, and they set up a TV in an open area, and everyone went there, mesmerized by the unfolding events, trying to grasp how this could possibly be happening.

Me?  I sat in my office, busily trying to get my budget done.  I knew something big was going on, but I had no idea what.  I knew, if I pulled myself away, if I got caught up in whatever was going on, I would be done, I would never get my budget done.  So, I ignored it all, and continued to grind away on my budget.  Periodically, I’d hear something.  I clearly remember, “Oh my God, here comes another one”, which I’m sure was the second plane crashing into the second building.  I pressed on.  I didn’t dare pull away from my task, I continued to work on that budget.

It wasn’t until late in the day that I finally pulled away and got a download of what all had happened.  I finally knew the gravity of the situation, and the devastation that had taken place.  I remember walking outside late in the afternoon, and hearing the roar of fighter jets taking off from Wright Patterson Air Force Base, and having no clue what that meant, if they were just moving into position somewhere, or if there was more coming.  Obviously, we also found out as the day unfolded that there were two other planes that wreaked destruction, not to the same level of notoriety, but still, very damaging.

I went home that night and watched the news to see all that I had missed.  The replays, the devastation was numbing.  To see those planes just targeted, heading straight into the sides of those buildings was still too hard to believe.  The pictures, the stories that unfolded were incredible from so many aspects.  As I said before, it was a defining moment in all of our lives, one of, if not the most important moment that any of us that have lived through it will experience.  As I sat there, watching all of the footage, the stories, I just cried. 

Some other interesting personal stories for me from this were that my boss, Jim Crane, was on his way back from Belgium that day.  They never alerted the passengers what had happened, but as they reached one of the furthest points in Canada after passing over the Atlantic Ocean, they landed.  The landed at an Air Force Base, I believe in Newfoundland, and they stayed there until the next day.  I remember hearing stories from Jim as he related the confusion and fear as they landed there, but how well they were treated until they could return to the US the next day.

As noted, I was supposed to go to Belgium that Saturday to present our budget.  Hernan Rodriguez, our Sales Director, was going with me, and he and I had been talking about whether we would go, whether we wanted to go, were we scared?  We both determined that we would go, we felt like it would be one of the safest times to travel.  Once Jim Crane reached the States, I got a call from him, and he very clearly told me, “You’re not going”.

As the years have gone by, 9/11 still remains a very painful day for me as I’m sure it is for many of us.  While in many cases, I’m not much for nostalgic stories or stuff, when it comes to 9/11, I’m all in.  The pictures and the stories of what happened, and the aftermath, both good and bad, capture me each year when the anniversary is upon us.  And I cry.  Every year, when we reach this anniversary and relive what happened, it breaks my heart.  Why do I cry?:

·         I cry for all of those innocent lives that were lost for absolutely no good reason

·         I cry for all of those heroes who had no regard for their own lives that ran into the devastation rather than out of it to try to save people they didn’t know at all

·         I cry for all of those families that lost loved ones, again, for no good reason

·         I cry for the brief patriotism that we experienced where we somehow regained that love of country that we once had.  I just wish we had sustained it.

·         I cry for the lost innocence, the lost security that we all feel now due to this brief moment of devastation.  We are not the same, and we will never be the same.

·         I cry for our callousness and mistrust of the rest of the world because of this.  It’s unfortunate that so many of us believe that all Muslims are evil because of the work of a few.

·         I cry for my lack of ability to recognize one of the most important moments in my life.  Rather than dropping everything, ignoring work, and fully experiencing and living the moment, no matter how devastating, I shut it all out and focused on my daily task.

So where were you?