Making America Great Again?

Recently my cousin Marie posted a picture of her house growing up.  It brought back so many memories of those times visiting my Uncle Bob and Aunt Millie’s house and seeing all of my cousins.  It reminded me of all of those visits, all of my cousins, all of those times we all got together to have family reunions, birthdays, weddings, whatever celebration it might be.  It made me think of a simpler time, really, a better time. 

I remember when ……

·        My Dad went 18 years without a single day off.  No vacation, no sick day, no time off.  He worked hard all week, did the various tasks around the house on the weekends, like mowing the lawn, and went back at it the next week, no breaks.  Still, in the evenings, he’d go out in the backyard with me, and he’d play catcher to my pitcher.  He wasn’t the only Dad who would spend those nights playing with us after long days at work.  I remember Jeff Conley’s Dad playing basketball with us, I remember Jay Weiland’s Dad doing the same.  Not sure how they all did it, but so many dads would put in a full day at work, then put in an evening of being Dad, and then do everything else that needed done on the weekends.

·         My Mom worked, she worked with my Dad all those years.  She’d work all day, then she’d come home, make us a full course dinner, meat, potatoes, vegetables.  Back then, we didn’t have microwaves, we didn’t have frozen “stuff” to heat up.  She’d take care of the cleaning and laundry on the weekends.

·        We’d go visit my cousins on the weekends.  All the kids would play until it was dark, and we’d often play past dark.  The grown-ups would sit around the table and talk, drink some beers, drink some wine, laugh and relish that time they had on the weekend to enjoy life and each other.  And the food was incredible.  I remember thinking my aunts were some of the best cooks that God ever put on the planet.  Nothing against my Mom, but Mom cooked the same type of stuff all the time, your aunts cooked other stuff, I remember stuffed cabbage, stuffed peppers, nut rolls, peach rolls, and Golden Bars.  I’m sure we could all debate who made the best Golden Bars, but from my standpoint, they were all good.

·         We’d go to my Great-grandmother’s house every Sunday for dinner.  We’d sit around this big table, my Great-grandmother, my Grandmother, my Grandfather, and my uncles and aunts.  We’d spend the afternoon together, eat and talk, and then go home to start the week all over again.  My Grandparents, uncles and aunts spoiled me rotten, so those Sunday’s were really great days for me.

·        We had our one real vacation, I think I was probably 10 or 12 or so.  We went to Rehoboth Beach in Delaware.  We drove to the beach, and we stayed in an ocean front hotel on the beach.  Looking back, it probably wasn’t the best hotel in the world, but for me, it was a huge deal.  It was one of the few times I had ever stayed in a hotel.  I remember swimming in the ocean, I remember swimming with my Dad.  Since my Dad worked so much, I didn’t get a huge amount of time with him, so it was a special time. 

·         We’d go to church, my Mom made sure I got to church every Sunday, we’d get rides from my Uncle Bob Irving, we’d get rides from another family from our church, but my Mom made sure I made it to church every Sunday.

·         I’d go hunting with my Dad, my brothers, my Uncle Bob Irving and my cousin JR.  I remember hunting small game, walking around in the fields, in the snow, just enjoying that time together.  I remember learning about God from my Uncle Bob, I remember him telling me the story of the birds in the field, and how God loved to hear even the blackbirds singing. 

·         I’d go camping with my Uncle Pal in his camper.  Uncle Pal took me to various campgrounds, we’d go fishing for bass or trout in lakes or streams throughout Pennsylvania.  I was a horrible fisherman (then again I was a horrible hunter too), but I loved those camping trips.  We’d eat crappy food, but for some reason, camp food always tastes good, at least when you’re a kid.

·         We used to play various “made up” games either in the street or on the various fields or ball fields in the neighborhood.  We played kick the can, kick ball, and of course the standard baseball, football and basketball if anyone had a basketball hoop.  It was a big deal when someone “took their ball and went home” because in many cases, that was the only ball we had.  We’d show up in a field and someone would have a ball, someone would have a bat, some of the guys had mitts.  We’d share mitts when we’d change sides, and we’d often have to wear it on the wrong hand if we didn’t have enough left-handed or right-handed mitts.  We’d make up the rules as we went along, imaginary runners, no hitting to right field or whatever we had to do to make the game work.  We’d stay out so late, we’d eventually go home and hope that our Mom’s wouldn’t yell at us for being out so late.  We lived to be outside playing.

·         My brother and I would go to Pirate games during the summer.  General admission was $1, we would park on the North Side of Pittsburgh on the streets for free, and we would maybe get a soft drink at the game for whatever it cost back then.  With gas, it probably ended up being a night at the stadium for somewhere between $5-10 for the both of us.

·         We defined ourselves and each other based on ethnicity or religion, but not in an ugly or derisive manner.  My grandfather came over from Ireland, so I was proud of that heritage.  I had friends who were descended from Italians, Germans, and various other European ethnicities.  We lived in a largely Catholic area, and I remember my friends calling me a “left footer” because I was Presbyterian.  While we all poked fun at each other’s heritage and religion, and I can assure you, there were times I’d get pretty irritated at being called a left footer, it wasn’t ugly, it was just how we defined ourselves and each other.

·         We went shopping once a year for school clothes, we’d essentially get enough clothes to wear a different outfit each day, and we’d get one pair of dress shoes and a pair of Keds tennis shoes or maybe even Converse All-Stars.  We’d refresh those clothes at Christmas time and have some new outfits for the second half of the school year.

·         We had one car, eventually we got a second used car.  The used car was shared among my Mom, and my two brothers.  We made due with that one extra car, no one but my Dad drove his car.

·         We would go next door to borrow a cup of milk, a cup of sugar, whatever it might be that we needed for our Mom to finish dinner.  In so many ways, our neighbors were almost like an extended family. 

What about you?  Any of these memories sound familiar?  There was a time when our parents worked hard, but they still figured out how to spend time with us.  Family was important, whether it was our immediate family or our extended family.  Weekends were time for family, we cherished our time together.  Church was a family event, it was important to go to church each Sunday.  Vacations were about being together, the journey and who you spent it to was much more important than the destination.  Clothes didn’t define us, we pretty much all dressed the same.  We cared about each other, we cared about family, we cared about neighbors, we were a community.

I’m not sure when it all changed, somewhere along the way, we lost our way.  We lost that work ethic, we lost that mindset of a hard day’s work for a day’s pay, and that goes for both sides.  We used to want to work hard for the company that we worked for, and in so many cases, people worked for the same company for 40 years, and those companies cared about their people.  Somewhere, it all changed.  We used to care about family time more than just how do I take a picture and post it on Facebook to show what a great family we are.  Vacations gave us that time to spend together, that brief time out of a busy year to be together, and we didn’t care where the destination was, but now, it has to be Disney, Cancun, Hawaii or whatever exotic place we can brag about visiting.  Cars, clothes, shoes didn’t define us, our work ethic and families defined us. 

We’ve changed, not sure when or why we changed, but we changed.  There are still pockets of greatness.  I’m in such awe and envy of one of my colleagues, Brent Shadix, who has a hunting/fishing place he takes his family to.  He has pictures in his office of his grandchildren fishing, and I just have to smile, seeing those little children learning how to hunt and fish.  Sadly, I’ve never taken any of my children hunting or fishing, they have no clue how to do this, and they missed out on some of the greatest opportunities to interact with nature as a family.  I love to see the Brennan/Trice/Stevens family on our street.  Three generations, holidays are special, they always get together and celebrate the holidays as a family.  I watch some of my cousins, from a distance, and see how important hard work and family is to them.  They had that instilled in them, and that hasn’t changed. 

So it makes me laugh when we have a politician making claims of “I’m going to make America great again”.  Sorry, no politician can or will make us great again, and I’m really not sure if we will ever be great again.  Many “dynasties” have come before us, Rome, France, England, and so many have fallen.  I hate to sound pessimistic, but somewhere along the way, our decline has started.  We are not great, and I’m not sure we have what it takes to be great again.  We’ve lost what was important.  We can blame our politicians, but we need to be looking in the mirror if we want to know why America isn’t great anymore.

One last thing, and then I’m done.  For those of you who will say I’m just un-American or too critical of this great country or just an old guy on a rant (that may be true), let me tell you, I still love this country dearly, and that will never change.  Let me take you back to the Super Bowl.  Remember Lady Gaga singing the National Anthem?  I think everybody does, it was incredible.  What do I remember?  I remember  the Armed Forces singing America the Beautiful.  It was so incredible, it brought me to tears, but then again, every single time I hear America the Beautiful, it brings me to tears.   But we can’t just listen to the song, we can’t just sing it, we need to remember what it said, what it meant, what we live and believe.  So I’ll close with the last stanza, which I hope isn’t an omen, but it is such a great verse:

O Beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam,
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!