Thank a Teacher!

Editor's Note: I really wish I could
take credit for this one, but the credit has
to go to Dave Carr. If you want to read a thought-provoking, inspirational blog, go to www.carrpediem.blogspot.com. If you're happy reading the meandering of someone whose head is stuffed with fluff, well, read on.

I started teaching accounting at nights at Georgia Gwinnett College (GGC) last fall. I teach one class each term, believe me, it's enough. For those of you who are teachers, I'm not telling you anything you don't know. Teaching is incredibly hard. You put in a significant amount of hours preparing, planning, strategizing, trying to figure out how best to present the material so that students will learn it and get it. You have the struggle of balancing the material, some students "get it" quickly and easily, and some students, unfortunately, will never get it. You try to balance how you present to keep it from being boring for some and keep it from being overwhelming for others. I've asked experienced teachers, and they struggle with this issue, so I don't think I'm going to master it anytime soon. And to be honest, I teach accounting, which isn't the most thrilling topic to try to teach students. My class is one night a week, so 2 1/2 hours of accounting. It beats watching paint dry, but it's not always easy to liven up an accounting class. When in doubt, I do my usual, I tell stories. I figure if I at least tell them some real life stories about how accounting works, the subject may stick a little better.

Teaching in so many ways can be thankless. Again, nothing new that I'm telling full-time teachers. You work hard to prepare, try to make the class interesting, try to educate, and you still end up with a certain portion that may not try, may not show up, don't do the homework, don't pass the class. As much as you try to tell yourself that you can't do the work for them, you still feel like a failure when your students fail. It hurts to know that you simply didn't reach a certain portion of your students.

One of the things that GGC does is offer a program to students called "Thank a Teacher". They ask students to write a note or letter that can provided to a teacher if they want to thank them for something they've done. I've received one each term, thankfully, and I passed it on to a few of my Small Group members from Dayton because it made me feel good. As one of them, a college professor, said, teaching is like golf. When you're a golfer, you always remember that one great shot you hit during the round that keeps you coming back. When you're a teacher, you don't get many thank you's, but that one that you do get, keeps you motivated, keeps you excited to do it again.

Dave Carr challenged me, and I am now challenging any of you that read my blog. Thank a teacher. Or if it's not a teacher, thank a mentor, thank a minister, a youth leader, someone who has touched or touches your life. As Dave would suggest, don't type it, don't do it by e-mail, write a simple, hand-written note, give it to them personally, or mail it to them. Speaking from one who recently was thanked, I can assure you, you will make someone's day if you give them a simple thank you for what they've done in your life.

I plan to take the challenge from Dave and start today. By the way, the picture above is of Patrick and Sean with their music teacher, Steve Burkholder. As I've said before, every child should have a Steve Burkholder in his or her life. We have tried to continually tell Steve what he has meant to Patrick and Sean, and to us. I figured posting a picture of the boys with such an incredible teacher was a fitting way to highlight this post. Please, take the challenge, thank a teacher!

What Are We Teaching Our Children?

I had a bit of a paradoxical weekend. Let me start with the last part first. I'm not a huge NBA fan, but on Sportscenter this morning, they had a clip of Rajon Rondo dislocating his elbow, and then coming back later in the game, essentially playing with one good arm, but still playing and motivating his team with his determination. They then showed various clips from history - Willis Reed playing in a Game 7 with a torn thigh muscle, Jack Youngblood playing with a broken leg in a championship game, Emmit Smith playing in a championship game with a dislocated shoulder, Kirk Gibson hitting a game winning home run on one leg. I've actually used the Willis Reed clip to motivate my son to come back from an injury for a big game.

For the most part, we shouldn't view professional athletes as our heroes. They are human, and they have flaws just like all of us do. We should be looking to our family, teachers, coaches, ministers, and those close to us as our heroes. Still, those events noted above are heroic efforts that are etched in our memories and should be viewed as heroic efforts.

Which brings me to the beginning of the weekend, our high school soccer playoff game. Hebron Christian Academy was playing in the quarterfinals against Pace Academy. Pace was ranked number 2 in the state, and were a very good team. What was so troubling was that so many of the Pace players resorted to diving during the game. For those that aren't familiar with soccer, diving is a technique to pretend you are fouled by the opponent by falling down, when in reality, you weren't fouled. If you can get the call from the referee, you get a free kick and an advantage. This has grown in popularity since it works so well in World Cup and other professional soccer venues.

On one hand, it becomes painfully obvious why soccer has never really caught on in America, and most likely never will. While it is a great sport and very popular with kids, we prefer our athletes to display heroic acts, like Jack Youngblood, Kirk Gibson, or Willis Reed. While I'm sure there have been many great soccer players, like John Terry or Franz Beckenbauer, who have done heroic things on the field, too often what kids see are the players who feign injuries, or act like they've been fouled, when in reality, they weren't. It's not something we should be holding up as an ideal for our kids to be shooting for.

On the other hand, I have a far greater concern for our children as we move forward. What are we teaching them? I've always told my sons, if I ever see you take a dive on the field, if your coach doesn't pull you off the field, I will. Diving is cheating, it's dishonorable, it's unethical. While some kids may come upon this naturally by imitation by watching professional soccer, when a team does it consistently, it is obvious that it is being coached and encouraged. Coaches are also teachers and leaders of our children, so what are we teaching them to do? What are we telling them is appropriate? When you get to college, if you can cheat on one of your exams, and get an A, that's OK. As long as you don't get caught. When you get into the work world, if you can take credit for another colleague's work, but not get caught, that's OK. Winning is all that matters, at any cost.

I'm very thankful that each of the coaches my sons have had in their lives have encouraged them to play hard, but play within the rules of the game. I wouldn't have it any other way. I would encourage those coaches out there that advocate winning at all cost, who advocate diving or other unethical methods to winning, to look in the mirror and consider what their role is in our children's lives. Do you want to develop the next Thurgood Marshall or Albert Schweitzer or do you want to develop the next Bernard Madoff or Kenneth Lay? My sons still talk about coaches they had 5-10 years ago with fondness and admiration because of what they taught them. Dave Dickerson, Franklin Lawson, Colin Hutton, Bob Gardner and Henry Hardin will be some of the names etched in my sons' memories for what they taught them, which was play hard, play as a team, play to win, but always play fair and within the rules.

In the end, we learn so much, no matter what the lesson is. In this case, we learned that winning really doesn't matter nearly as much as losing with dignity and with class. Just as the coaches need to be able to look at themselves in the mirror, the players need to be able to look at themselves in the mirror. While as spectators we can guess at the motives for a dive, only the player himself knows his own motives. Except for God of course, who knows all of our motives, but then again, that's a whole different story. At the end of the day, we all need to be able to look in the mirror and feel good about what we see. I can't imagine that winning at all costs would provide a pleasant picture looking back at me.

A Pirate Looks at 40 - Well, Okay, 50

This is a picture of Laurel and me with Kelly when she graduated from college last December. I don't like to post pictures of myself, as I've grown older, I have that Nancy Reagan head thing going, my head is way too big for my body. But, I digress.

I turned 50 this year. The funny thing is that those age milestones never really bothered me. Whether it was 30, 40, now 50, it really doesn't bother me. It's those kid milestones that are killing me. And 2009-2011 has been a killer for me. Kelly, my star for not causing me to feel old (more on that later), started it with graduating from college last December, our first college graduate. Then Megan got engaged this year. Then the boys started their senior year of high school. Next year, we have to look forward to Megan getting married, our first marriage. And the boys graduate from high school and head off to college. And Laurel and I are empty nesters. Bam! You're old Steve. Most of the time, you get it in small doses, but all of a sudden, it's several two by fours across the head. I guess the roller coaster is picking up speed, and I'm telling you, I'm hanging on for dear life.

As noted, most of the time you get hit with this in small doses. I remember putting Megan on the school bus for the first time. I remember walking her through the high school for the first time to show her where her classes were. Each time you hit those first milestones with your first child, it really ages you. I reminisced back to when Megan would be riding with me in the car, singing Pete Townshend's "After The Fire". It's incredible to hear a five year old singing, "I've got to stop drinking, I've got to stop thinking, I've got to stop smoking." Bam! You're old Steve.

Now we're hitting the "lasts". Every year we take a picture on the first day of school. It killed me to realize this was our last year after 20+ years of taking these pictures when we took Patrick and Sean's pictures this year. In a few months, it will be our last high school graduation. Then a few more months, and our last children at home. Yesterday, the boys were sitting in a laundry basket in front of the TV watching Barney. Tomorrow, they are headed off to college. Bam! You're old Steve.

So most of the time Kelly has spared me from this since she's the middle child and isn't a first or a last, she's always in the middle. Even Kelly didn't spare me, she was our first to graduate from college. Thanks Kelly. Yesterday, she was our "Little Angel From Heaven", running back to her crib to go to bed, today, she's a college graduate. Et tu, Kelly? Even you would do this to me? Bam! You're old Steve.

What the heck happened? How did they all grow up so quickly? Can someone please find the brakes for this roller coaster? I know most of us go through this, and some of us handle this better than others, but I have to be honest, I'm not handling this well. I'm doing my best to slow it all down, but it's funny, there isn't a whole lot you can do to slow down time. Megan will get married. Patrick and Sean will graduate and go off to college. Kelly will move out, no matter how many times I tell her she's not allowed (I'm kidding Kelly). And we will be empty nesters. Bam!

OK, in my head, I know this is the way life is supposed to be. Children are a gift from God, and we only get so much time with them, they're not ours, they're His, and we have our time with them until they move on and lead their own lives. I can still share in their lives once they're grown, but it won't be the same as what we had when they were growing up. In my heart, it hurts. But even my heart tells me, this is the way it's supposed to be. We live, we love, and even though we we get older, and it's not the same, we still love, we will always love.

So, we have a few more months. It's amazing at this point in your life how much you can enjoy a bedroom with clothes all over the floor, a sink full of dirty dishes, a laundry basket full of barely worn clothes, singing and guitar music at 11 o'clock at night and unexpected kids coming to your house around dinner time. There's plenty of time for a clean and quiet house. Plenty of time.

Because They Loved Us

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them - Bishop Desmond Tutu"

Last week, I was out of town, and I had an incredibly vivid dream. I was at a family reunion, and all of my cousins were there. I guess I have Facebook to thank for that. I'm not a huge fan of Facebook, but I still keep active on it because I can stay up to date on what my cousins are doing. Since I see so much about their lives, I guess they were in my subconscious, hence the dream with all of them in it.

We did have a real family reunion this summer. We hadn't had one in about seven years or so. We get together at my cousin Marlene's house in Columbus, Ohio, she has a nice, big backyard, and it's a great place for us to all get together. We had relatives from Ohio, Pennsylvania, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, California, New Jersey and Colorado there. I'm sure I missed a state or two, but we came together, simply because of the love of my Mother and her sisters and brother, and our love for each other.

My Mother and her siblings grew up in an orphanage many years ago after their parents died when they were young. I don't know the stories nearly as well as some of my older cousins, but I do know that my Aunt Bessie did not live in "the home" like the rest, because she was older. But she would go and pick up the boys at one home and the girls at another home each Sunday to get them together for a picnic. They always had a special bond growing up because of what they went through.

That carried forward through their lives and through our lives. I remember visiting my cousins quite a bit growing up and going to stay with them at various times when I was growing up. I always had a special bond with my cousins, and while we are an eclectic group of personalities, I still have such a special feeling for all of them, they were such a huge part of my life. While distance and the years have caused us to grow apart, for that one day, it was like old times, but maybe with a little more gray hair, or in some of our cases, a little less hair. I know it sounds crazy, but that dream the other night took me back once again to that special time last summer when we spent the day together. The really fun thing about the day was watching my Mother and her sisters and brother, just sitting together, enjoying each other's company. They ended up closing the party down, not wanting the day to end.

But the party did end, and again, we went our separate ways. I find it hard to believe I'm saying this, but thank God for Facebook. I love seeing the posts from all of my cousins, what's going on in their lives, what's important to them, what their children are doing, what makes them happy and what makes them sad. And periodically, I can dream and see them all again. It may seem crazy, but that's OK, I can live with that. They are a a gift to me, and I have my Mom and my aunts and uncles to thank for that.

Wisdom of Our Fathers

For Father's Day last year I bought my Father "Wisdom of Our Fathers" by the late Tim Russert. It has a picture in it of a good friend of mine, Dave Carr, with his father, so I told Dave about buying it. Dave asked if I had written my own "chapter" for my Dad, which I hadn't. Of course, Dave never has a bad idea, so I've been planning to write my own chapter for a while, so here goes.

Wisdom of My Father

Like so many of us, I have a great deal that I owe my Father in who I am and who I turned out to be. Some of the major things he taught me:

Honor Your Mother - I remember one Mother's Day when I was in high school, and I was having trouble with a girlfriend. We were supposed to take my Mother out for Mother's Day dinner, but I didn't want to go, I wanted to go over to my girlfriend's house to work out the problem. I knew my Dad would understand if I passed on taking Mom out to dinner. So I went into the bathroom where he was shaving, getting ready for the night, and asked him, "Dad, is it OK if I don't go tonight?" He turned and looked at me with a very clear and steady look, and simply said, "No." I knew that there would be no more discussion, no negotiation. Message heard loud and clear.

Love Your Children - My Father never claimed credit for this, but he had a saying or way of looking at things when you were down about money or your situation in life. He'd ask me, "Would you trade any of your children for a million dollars?". Well, of course not. He'd say, "You have four children, so I guess you have at least $4 million." Maybe very simplistic, but an easy way to keep focused on what's most important.

Value Everyone No Matter What They Do - Probably one of the greatest work lessons I've ever learned, and it's served me well, is to value everyone in the workforce. I remember him telling me, "Even if someone pushes a broom, if they work hard, you value them for what they do." One of the quickest ways someone would incur my wrath at work was if they would tell me they were "just a peon". I tend to be very easy going at work, but no matter what else was going on or what needed to be done, if someone ever said that to me, they would get a meeting and discussion on how valuable they were or are to the organization. Everyone, no matter what their position, contributes to the success of a company. Thanks to my Dad for first teaching me this lesson.

Hard Work Is Important - My Dad quit high school in the 9th grade and became a truck driver. He eventually worked his way up to being a manager of a truck terminal. At one point, he went 17 years or so without a single day off, no sick day, no vacation, no nothing. I learned this lesson a little too well, and this probably wasn't the best lesson he ever taught me. Thankfully, I was never quite that bad, and I have improved over time. I have learned that there are times to work hard, and there are times to play. I still struggle with the play, but old habits or teachings die hard.

It's OK to Cry - I will never forget when my Grandfather died. He was the first person that died that was close to me. I remember getting ready in the morning the day after he died, and I heard this strange sound coming from my parent's bedroom. I went in, and it was my Dad crying. I had never heard him cry in my life. It was a strange, surreal experience, but I knew it was OK, and I knew how much my Dad loved his Father.

Did I learn more than just this? You bet. When I got out of college I learned how smart my Dad was. When I had to buy a car, buy a house, start my family, I found out my Dad was much smarter than me, imagine that. But those are the normal things that all of us go through as we grow up. My Dad taught me so much about how to do the important things in life, but more importantly, he taught me about the important things in life. That has made all the difference.

Our 2010 Christmas card

"Suffering is not without purpose, grief is not without hope"


We had an incredible year in 2010, and we thank God for that. We also thank God for some of the pain and suffering that we experienced in previous years that led us to our wonderful 2010. There are times that we have no idea why we have to experience the troubles that we go through, but in so many cases, it all becomes clear once we let God's plan unfold. The problem we have is that we want God's plan to unfold on our time, not His time. In our case, if it weren't for some of the difficulties we experienced over the years, the boys would have never ended up at Hebron Christian Academy, I would have never ended up at WIKA, and we would have never ended up at Lawrenceville United Methodist Church. What a difference this has all made!

This is the first time I've ever done something like this, so please forgive me if my style is not the best. I was a journalism major in college (OK, now I'm a Chief Financial Officer, go figure), so this is going to be very much sticking with the facts, and not much fluff, but that's just me. As some of you know, I've been forced to go this route because Cardstore.com failed to deliver our Christmas cards this year. Without further adieu, here is our year in review:

Our Trips

College Visits - I think based on our last count, we went to see 17 colleges in five different states. Our biggest trip was to Pennsylvania and Ohio, where we went to see nine schools over Spring Break. We also went to see opening day for the Pirates at PNC Park. It was hectic, fun and incredible seeing so many great schools.

Two family reunions - We had two family reunions this summer, one on my side of the family and one on Laurel's side of the family, both in Ohio. It was great seeing all of my cousins and their families, I just love my cousins, they are an incredible group of people (separate blog post coming soon on this). For Laurel's reunion, we went to Lake Atwood, a lake resort that her family used to go to every year when she was younger. Laurel got a chance to go to her sister Kathy's grave and put some flowers on her grave, and we got to spend time with her brothers and nieces and nephews.

While our trips were nothing fancy, a week for the college visits, weekends for the reunions, lots of driving, they provided some of the best times I've had in years. There is something about being around family that can make anything special.

Laurel and Me

We hit 50 this year! As promised, a separate blog will also be coming on this. Fifty came and went without much fanfare. We're not nearly as exciting as the kids, so this part of the post will be brief.

WIKA acquired a company in California this year, so I spent a great deal of time traveling to Anaheim this year. It sounds much more exciting than it is. In 2009, we had a tough year financially at WIKA, so everyone took a 7.5% pay cut. We had our pay rates restored this year, which was nice, but then something incredible happened. At the end of the year, WIKA paid back all the money that we sacrificed in 2009. In this day and age of corporate greed, it's incredible that we were all rewarded for our sacrifice and hard work, and that we work for a company that values its employees so much. I also started teaching this year at Georgia Gwinnett College, fulfilling a lifelong ambition to teach in college. It's only one course, but it is so fulfilling.

Laurel has spent a great deal of time, volunteering her time to various efforts. She spent time, along with some other ladies from our church, helping a young, single mother, trying to get her life together. It ended up being a difficult and stressful several months as she learned how difficult it can be to help someone turn their life around. Ultimately, she learned, as one of the books she found says in its title, "When Helping Hurts". She has found working at the Lawrenceville Co-op or for the school has great rewards without some of the stress of trying to help one individual. She has not lost sight of this young woman's need or her compassion for her struggles, but she's learned that the problem and solution is bigger than her.

Our Children

I heard a quote last night in Church about which child do you love the most. The answer is the one that needs you the most at the time. Chronologically, here are some highlights of their year:

Megan

Megan got engaged this year to Thomas McDonald, or T-Unit as we call him. They've been dating for a long time, six years or so. They live in Chicago, so we don't get to see them much, but we had the pleasure of seeing them at one reunion, and they also came for a visit earlier this year. Megan also got moved to full time at Bank of America, which was a great blessing this year. Thomas also got a promotion this year at AT&T. She and Thomas get married next June in Chicago, so we are excitedly planning a wedding for 2011.

Kelly

Kelly graduated from Kennesaw State University last December (our first college graduate!). She took an internship with Rowland Mountain, a recruiting firm, right after college, and they hired her shortly thereafter. She then moved to another recruiting firm, TRC Staffing, later in the year. She has been dating Clayton Crowe for about 1 1/2 years or so. She's talked about moving out, but I told her she's not allowed since Laurel and I would be empty nesters once the boys go to college (OK, I'm kidding).

Patrick

Patrick was in two plays this year at Hebron. He was Juror Number 7 in "12" (Hebron's version of 12 Angry Men). He was Don Quixote in Man of La Mancha in November. It was an incredible performance. He also placed fourth in the state at the Literary Meet for solo singing. After all of our college visits, Patrick held firm to his decision that Grove City College in Pennsylvania was where he wanted to go. He applied for early decision, and after some agonizing days waiting for the mail to come, his acceptance letter finally came. So Patrick will be heading to Grove City in the fall, where he has been accepted into the music program.

Sean

Sean has been participating in worship leadership at Hebron, and he has also started participating in worship leadership at our Church. He has a great passion for music, and sings, plays guitar and keyboard. I am in awe when I see him standing up on stage, leading a group of kids in a worship service. Sean also plays on the Hebron soccer team, and Hebron had an incredible season in 2010. They finished 2010 with only two losses and went to the state playoffs. They lost in the second round, but it was such a fun year to watch. Sean ended up as Hebron's Scholar Athlete for Gwinnett County. Sean is still undecided on which college he will attend. He's whittled it down to Covenant College in Lookout Mountain, Georgia, or Cedarville University in Ohio. Then there is Wittenberg University in Ohio. There is still time for those decisions to be made.

What will 2011 bring? We have two graduations in May and then two weeks later a wedding, so more excitement. We may have more pain and sorrow, who knows. But we know that even if we do, it will all be a part of God's plan. And it's a good plan, and we may not know the reason for the pain and sorrow in our time, we will know the reason in His time.

I wish you all a wonderful holiday season, and I hope you find peace and joy in all that you do.

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

"Does anyone know where the love of God goes, when the waves turn the minutes to hours"

Our former pastor at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Dayton, Ohio, The Reverend Dr. George H. "Sandy" McConnel, did an incredible sermon once with this haunting line from Gordon Lightfoot's song as one of the key elements. The song recounts a real life situation where people died in the wreck of a ship, but Sandy carried it forward to all of our lives. When we are waiting to hear the results of tests at the hospital. When we are waiting to hear whether the layoff will impact us. When we are waiting for one of our children to arrive home safely when they are on the road in a storm. When we are waiting for ....


There are so many situations where we wait and wonder and worry what the outcome will be. Unfortunately many of us have been facing that this week. Jim Campbell, one of my colleagues, had a massive stroke on Saturday. I got the call Saturday morning, and all of a sudden, my life changed completely. But, hold on a second. The impact on my life pales in comparison to the impact on his wife Anita's life, and everyone intimately involved in Jim's life. I could be selfish, and I admit, sometimes this week I have been, but I'm not the one who has suffered the most in all of this. As we leave the hospital each day, my wife Laurel and I count our blessing and think what so many of us often think - there but for the grace of God, go I.


Starting Saturday morning, Laurel and I have been going to the hospital to see Jim. We've spent a great deal of time with Anita and the rest of the family. You stand there and watch. You wait. You try to figure out, is anything changing? Is he getting any better? Wait, what was that? Did he move his eyes? Did he move his head? What does this mean? The hours go by. The days go by. What has changed? What will change? Where is the love of God as each minute, each hour, each day passes?


I have no right to be bitter. Anita has a right to be bitter. Their son Jeff has a right to be bitter. I'm sure there are others in the immediate family that are bitter. But as much as I don't have a right to be, I'm still a little bitter. Jim and I started working together about a year ago. He and I are very different. Jim is very conservative, very quiet, very private. It took forever for me to find out much about him. I finally found out or figured out about Jeff from hearing Jim on the phone with Jeff. I'd hear Jim take a call, and I'd always hear, "Hey buddy..." I started figuring out that it was Jim with his son Jeff, and I have to say I really enjoyed hearing those conversations. I hope that someday, my sons have those same type of conversations with me. But otherwise, I really didn't know much or hear much about Jim and his personal life. That was OK though, because Jim was a very solid, very capable performer. He was reliable, always got his job done, was very bright and efficient, I really couldn't ask much more from someone working for me. I had to periodically make sure I told him what a good job he was doing, because he was so "low maintenance". He took such little management or supervision, it was easy to forget to say, "hey, you're doing a good job Jim".


Over time, I got to know or figure out Jim a bit. The picture above is a photo shop picture his step-daughter Britney did for him. To say Jim is slightly more conservative than Ronald Reagan or George Bush may be an understatement. He and one of our colleagues, Cameron Reebals, could get going on a conservative rant, and it would be like a tornado of conservative propaganda would be swirling in the office. I'd love to get them going and I'd often say that Jim may burst into flames one of these days as he sat with his headphones on listening to one of the conservative talk show hosts on the radio. While Jim and I were different in many ways, I grew to appreciate him and enjoy his idiosyncrasies (OK who among us don't have some?). I knew that if I walked into his office, I'd hear about the Cap and Trade Bill, Healthcare Reform or whatever other evil the Democrats were bringing on the country. I'd just smile and nod and listen.

Over the past several days, I've learned so much more about Jim from Anita and the rest of the family. It has been an incredible experience getting to know all of them and learning so much about all of them and about Jim. Is this the positive out of all of this? I keep trying to figure out why this had to happen, what is God's plan for all of this? We stand and we wait. We talk, we laugh, we tell stories. We look over at Jim and wonder, where is the love of God? It has to be here, it has to be. I'm angry, I'm bitter. I still know, I have no right to be, but I don't care, I am. I feel guilty anytime I feel this way, because I see what this is doing to his family, and know I have no real right to feel this way, but it's hard not to feel this anger, this bitterness.

In the end, as Sandy so eloquently preached, God is always there, he is always with us. No matter what the situation, no matter what the tragedy, God is there, and he is suffering right along with us. So we wait. The minutes turn to hours turn to days. We wait for something, anything. And to steal yet again from one of Sandy's outstanding sermons, we hold out hope. Hope that is "faith pointed towards the future". Hope that is a "confident expectancy in a faithful and loving God". Hope that is "the expectation of a favorable future under God's direction". Hope that is "a rose in winter". We hold out hope for whatever potential positive God holds for us in the midst of this tragedy. We wait.

Thanks God - There are Three Parts to All of This?

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dr. Chappell has been doing sermons on the Book of Job at church the last few weeks, which has been incredible. Until today. Oh, the sermon was incredible, as I've told Dr. Chappell he pitches a shutout every week (I love baseball analogies), I have no idea how he does it, but this was a two-hit shutout with 13 strikeouts. The sermon was incredible and had me in tears several times. Today for me, the pain of the sermon series came in, which of course, will bear explanation.

For those who don't know, Job suffered a great deal of pain and loss in his life. Whatever possible could be taken away from Job or whatever pain and suffering that could be inflicted on Job, it took place. His friends had a great deal of advice for Job, all of it wrong, and they provided many reasons why Job was suffering, mainly due to his having sinned against God or offending God in some way. Eventually, God rewarded Job for his faithfulness, and Job received many great blessings from God. If the story stopped there, I would have felt a whole lot better. The theme of the sermon today was on God calling Job to pray for the forgiveness of his friends who had given Job poor counsel throughout his pain and suffering. Of course, Job eventually does this.

The sermon's central theme was forgiveness. Until we eventually release our hearts to forgive those who have committed wrongs against us, we can never be whole. We can never truly love, never truly follow a life of discipleship, if we can't forgive. As Hamlet would say, "ay, there's the rub."

I would never be so audacious to compare myself to Job or what we have gone through to the suffering that Job experienced. The last two years or so have been incredibly painful for many reasons, both from a work perspective and in our personal lives. Throughout the hardship we experienced, we maintained our faith and belief that while God wasn't always visible in what was happening, God was always there supporting us through our pain.

A new year has brought a great deal of gifts from God. The economy has improved, and our business has grown at WIKA. The boys have been having a great time at their new school, and they are doing some incredible things. Kelly found a job in a very difficult economy. Megan just got engaged to a really great guy. Laurel and I attended a marriage class at church, and it has made our communication and marriage even better. There have been so many times lately that I have that mixed emotion of being so thankful, but feeling so guilty that we have been so blessed with so much. This weekend was kind of the culmination of the showering of gifts from God. Sean's soccer team won twice to go to 9-0-1, but what is so much more important about it is that Sean is having a great time and enjoying playing with his new team, his new teammates and his coaches. Patrick went to the state competition for solo singing and placed fourth with an incredible performance. Then we got the call that Megan got engaged.

So, as noted above, there are three parts to all of this? Through the pain and suffering we experienced, there were some people who played a part in causing that pain and suffering either directly or indirectly. We have struggled to find it in our hearts to forgive the people who caused our family so much turmoil the last couple of years. While I know in my heart that I really understood the point that I had to forgive those people before I heard it in the sermon today, the reality is that the sermon hammered that point home. I am failing right now because I can't forgive these people. I wish I could say that the sermon pushed me over the edge, and miraculously I have found it in my heart to forgive these people, but I still can't. That is why today was so painful for me. I am incomplete right now, and I know I have to change. As Dr. King says above, "he who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love."

For those of you who do read my blog, I need your help. I need you to pray for me, that I can find the power to forgive. I also need you to pray for me that I don't beat myself up too much. As I sat there today and the grim realization hit me that I had not finished the process that Job went through, that I hadn't done the important step of forgiving others, it really tore me apart. Let me find it in my heart to forgive those who have wronged our family, and let me find it in my heart to forgive myself for having such a hard time doing this.

The Passing of a Classmate

I saw a post on Facebook about one of my classmates, Denny Kelly, passing due to cancer. As we all get older, and there is no doubt, I am getting older, this will be happening more and more, it is the reality of life. I saw that they were having a tribute to Denny yesterday in Slippery Rock, PA, where I grew up, and distance wouldn't have allowed me to attend, I have my own tribute to Denny, and a very valuable lesson I shared with my sons.

Back in high school or maybe right after high school, one of our classmates had a party at his house, his parents were out of town. As much as I hate to admit it (especially for my kids to read), I'm certain we were drinking and doing various other things we shouldn't have been doing. At one point, one of our classmates arrived, and he wasn't welcome by the host. Our host took a paper plate full of shaving cream, and shoved it in the young man's face, and told him to leave. At first, the guy thought it was a joke, and even starting licking the shaving cream off his face, thinking it was whipped cream, but then shortly realized, it wasn't a joke. He got a really hurt look on his face, and slowly walked away from the party and left.

All of us at the party laughed as the whole scenario transpired. Some laughed because they truly thought it was funny. Some, probably most, were like me. We laughed that uncomfortable laugh when something is happening that really we don't agree with, but we are too scared or don't have the guts to stand up for what is right or against what is wrong. We all laughed except for Denny. Denny was the only person who got really angry and stood up for something that was really wrong. He confronted the host and told him what he did was wrong, and he shouldn't have done it. Of course our host got mad at Denny, told him he didn't know what he was talking about, I'm sure some of the people ridiculed Denny, but he still stood up for what he believed in.

OK, so that event happened 30 years ago or so. It is one of those memories that haunts me to this day. I'm not saying I think about this daily or anything like that, but I've thought about it many times over those 30 years. I can see the look of pain on the victim's face. I can see Denny taking the high road and calling out our host for doing what he did. Denny took the hard way in this situation, and I took the easy road. Or did I? And that is the message I gave to my sons. In the short term, Denny took the hard route. I'm sure the rest of the evening was uncomfortable for Denny, being the minority, sticking up for what was right. Maybe the next few days were too, I really don't know. But probably shortly after all of this, Denny forgot about it. He had a clear conscience, because he did what was right. I've lived with this for 30 years. Short term, I took the easy way out. Long term, I've had to live with not doing the right thing. As I told the boys, whether it may be painful at the time, and it may even be painful for a short time after that, you can't go wrong if you do the right thing.

Here's to Denny Kelly for doing the right thing that night. I learned a valuable lesson, and I hope that I've been able to pass that lesson on to my sons so that if and when they are confronted with a situation like this, they will do the right thing also.

Father, Son and Holy Spirit - I think I finally got it!

Hopefully it hasn't become too clear from my posts, but I'm not always a rocket scientist. There are certain areas that just baffle me. Medical stuff is one. If we go to the doctor and they explain something, I usually have to have Laurel dumb it down for me. I just don't get it. I'm sure there are many other areas, but it would probably be best to just leave this area open and vague.

Except for the whole concept of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I have never understood it. One of my all time favorite church and kid stories is from years ago when Laurel and I were serving as shepherds at Church for a young children's group. Gerald Bailey, who was a fantastic teacher was leading the worship for the children, and he got on the topic of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. All of a sudden, one of the young boys, Will Boezi, burst out, "I don't get this Father, Son and Holy Spirit stuff!". Gerald's eyes got really big, I was sitting there thinking, wow, I agree, and Gerald reacted really well, and said, "You know, Will, sometimes I don't understand it myself." I'm sure he went on and explained it really well, but as is the case with every other time in my life, I just didn't get it.

Finally, I think I got it. After 49 years (and I'm not exposing Laurel's age, so it should be OK to say this), I think I got it. Recently in a sermon series, our pastor, Dr. Davis Chappell, put it in these terms. God above us (Father), God among us (Son), God within us (Holy Spirit). I could have shouted Hallelujah! This was the first time it ever made any sense to me (Please refer to the above about not being a rocket scientist).

I really hope this has all been much easier for all of you. As I like to refer to these, this was a major lightbulb moment for me. It only took 49 years.

Making Your Mark

"When you aim at nothing, you will hit nothing every time" - Allen Whittaker

Do you ever have those times in your life when things are just percolating in your mind, and you can't figure out how to pull all of those ideas or thoughts together? You know that somehow there is a link, but you can't see where that link is, it's just not that clear. I've been having that the last month or so.

The quote above is from the Director of Youth at our church, First United Methodist Church of Lawrenceville. I didn't hear it, but Dr. Davis Chappell quoted him in his recent sermon series, On Your Mark. I'll get back to that eventually.

Recently, I've had the pleasure to hear about a young man who we grew up with, Curtis Mann, who is making his mark in art. Curtis does some incredible things with photography, which quite frankly, I can't even describe, so I will refer you to his website, http://www.curtismann.com/, so you can see the unbelievable things he is able to do with photos. Curtis is making his mark, he is touching lives with a great gift that he has been given. To be honest, I struggle with making stick figures, so when I see something like this, I'm in complete awe of it.

I recently had some e-mail dialogue with Aaron Keyes. He is a worship leader in this area, and has touched many lives, but particularly both of my sons, Patrick and Sean. Aaron has appeared at their school several times, and has a gift for spreading the word of God and the love of Jesus through witness and music. His website is incredible, here is the link to it - http://www.aaronkeyes.com/.

As I've noted on my blog, I follow Dave Carr, his blog is at http://carrpediem.blogspot.com/. I have used Dave for learning initiatives at least four times for three different organizations. In each case, even the most stubborn dissenter, the ones who wanted to be there the least, came up to Dave afterward and expressed how much the course touched them. Dave has a unique way of bringing out the most in individuals and groups. Each time I've been through it, I've been enriched by the experience. As I've noted, when I grow up, I want to be Dave.

So what has been percolating the whole time for me was "how do I make my mark?" As noted above, it surely wouldn't be art. It couldn't be through music, as Laurel notes, I really don't have the ability to even clap along to a song, let alone sing. So what about those poor schleps (is that even a word?) like me who have no real talent or ability to touch the world with some great gift?

The good news was that it was a four-part sermon series. I guess there was a good reason to listen and pay attention to all four parts because eventually, I think, it all became much clearer to me. Dr. Chappell focused at one point on what is the aim of Christian life? The answer - to know Jesus and to become like Jesus. As Dr. Chappell pointed out, while he'd like to make it complicated for those who like things complicated, it doesn't get any more complicated than that.

I guess because I have always been so inept at art and music, I've always had a huge appreciation for what people can do with it. I'm amazed by Curtis' artwork, I marvel at people with musical abilities like Aaron Keyes, or even my own sons, Patrick and Sean. As noted, they didn't get it from me. I tend to be an introvert, so I'm never going to touch people like Aaron Keyes does as a worship leader, or even what Dave does as a trainer and facilitator. But I can try to know Jesus and to become like Jesus. After a great deal of percolating, and a great sermon series, I think I finally figured out that while there are some among us that are going to make their mark in a great way, there are many of us that will have to settle for making our marks in a simple, but very valuable way.

Friends, I'm far from this goal. There are so many times that I fall short, and it hurts when I do. Thankfully, there is grace, and I can keep trying, and maybe eventually, I'll make my mark. The good news is that I'm not aiming at nothing anymore.

If We Are the Body

“But if we are the Body

Why aren't His arms reaching

Why aren't His hands healing

Why aren't His words teaching

And if we are the Body

Why aren't His feet going

Why is His love not showing them there is a way There is a way” Words to “If We Are the Body” by Casting Crowns

Yesterday I flew home from California from a work assignment. I was really excited to be coming home, I had been gone all week, and it was questionable if I'd make it home, due to the weather. My flight had been cancelled out of Orange County, but I was able to get booked on the last seat of a flight leaving LAX at 6:15 in the morning. So, I got up at 3 am, and headed to the airport. When I got to Atlanta, the snow was coming down pretty hard, and it took a while to get home.

As I was coming into the neighborhood, really looking forward to seeing Laurel and the kids (and the dogs of course), I saw the sight above. I slowly drove by and scanned the belongings. Furniture, clothes, bedding, food, children's stuffed animals, an endless view of abandoned possessions. Obviously, with the snow, everything will be ruined. Not only will the owners not have the opportunity to wear these clothes, sit on this furniture, play with these toys, but no charity will get the opportunity to put these valuable furnishings to good use.

I have no idea how these people ended up in the position they did, but unfortunately there are so many of us that are at this point or reaching this point. How do we let this happen without knowing it or doing anything about it? I'm heartbroken that one of my neighbors suffered like this, and I knew nothing about it and did nothing about it. I know it sounds stupid, but what I really noticed or what caught my attention were the stuffed animals. Somewhere, there's a child that lost something dear to them, and they have no idea how or why.

Last night an e-mail came around from someone from the Homeowner's Association. The concern being expressed by many neighbors is how this looks and what can we do to remove this, so we don't have an eyesore in the neighborhood. I'm hopeful that the first reaction or thoughts were what can we do or what have we done to help the people that went through this painful experience. I know it may not always seem like it, but I really believe there is a way.

Does God Talk To Us - Or Through Us?

Last winter, I was going through some struggles, and I was going through some particular struggles with Laurel. I can't remember what the issues were, it really doesn't matter, but I was irritable and frustrated with Laurel and it came to a boil the one night. Laurel had just arrived home from picking Sean up, and something set me off. I yelled and screamed, and I stormed out. I was done, I was determined that I was leaving, didn't know where I was going to go, but I was leaving. I thought about finding a hotel, seeing if I could stay with someone, but the intent was to just leave. As I drove and realized that neither a hotel nor staying with someone made much sense, I settled on going to work, I could go there, stay for a while, if needed, I could probably spend the night there. Anything, but going home. I took my computer with me since I didn't know if and when I would go back home, and I logged on when I got there. I had the following e-mail from Sean waiting for me:

"I didn't hear what went on tonight, and I'm glad I didn't hear it. If I had heard it, I don't know what I would have done. I don't know if I would have run or if I would have just stood there. One thing that is for certain is that I don't care who was wrong. I don't care who was right. If you ever do this again, I don't know what I'll do. You never do anything that upsets someone else, especially a lady, and not apologize. Even if you weren't wrong, it's best to apologize. Now, what you did tonight was give up. You became a Judas. Judas sold Jesus out. He killed him. Do you know what he did after that? He committed suicide. Peter, on the other hand, denied knowing Christ three times. Do you know what he did? He ran full-speed after Jesus. Every chance he got. Peter didn't give up when he messed up. Judas did. Don't give up. I don't want to see you end up like Judas, and I know you don't want to end up like him. I don't know what's been going on with you lately, but I don't care. There is never any excuse to do that. Giving up is the permanent solution to temporary problems. The problems will go away. Everything will fade. Goodness will be left in its place. Don't be mad at mom. She is just sensitive. She feels unappreciated. She is starting to realize that her daughters are taking advantage of her. She also feels that the men ( you, Patrick, and I) don't need her anymore. She feels useless and helpless. Please, help me and Patrick help her through this. Don't give up."

To say that this e-mail saved our marriage would be overstating it. Laurel and I have been married for 27 years, and like most marriages, we've had our ups and downs and fights along the way. I will say that this e-mail diffused the anger and bitterness that I was feeling. My feelings went from anger and bitterness to amazement at what came out of Sean's mouth (or keyboard). I forwarded the e-mail to Laurel that evening, and her reaction was that we had an incredible son. Needless to say, I ended up going home, we worked things out and I kept the analogy of Judas and Peter fresh in my mind.

The funny thing was that when I asked Sean about the e-mail later, his reaction was "I really have no idea what I wrote, it just came out." Maybe some modesty, but maybe not? It took less than a half hour for me to get to work and log on, and Sean composed this in that period of time. So does God talk to us, or through us? Did Sean come up with this on his own, or did he have some help? Obviously, there are no right answers to these questions, and we will never know for sure. I guess that is one of the beauties of the concept of faith. In your head, you will never know for sure, but in your heart ....

To My Graduate - Do As I Say, Not As I Do!

My daughter Kelly graduated from Kennesaw State University last week. She graduated in accounting (I tried my best to talk her out of it, but to no avail). The graduation ceremony was really nice, great pomp and circumstance, a bagpiper, great speeches, everything you would want from a graduation. I only teared up three or four times.

I have to first admit that I tried my best to imitate one of those Disney dad's before the ceremony. If you don't know what I mean, I'm talking about one of those dad's that is on his cell phone, or at a business meeting or whatever business affair, and shows up after his son's/daughter's baseball game or recital or whatever special event is over.

In my case, I was obsessed with everything going on at work, and focused on everything that needed to get done before the end of the year. I wasn't thrilled to go to the graduation, and I was committed to get back to work as soon as possible after the ceremony. Kelly asked a couple times about going out to dinner after the ceremony, and I brushed her off and told her that I had to get back to work. This "Disney Dad" attitude continued until the day of the graduation. Somehow, thankfully, something showed me what a jackass I was being, and I realized how important this was to her, and how important this was to me. This was a huge event, and it was cause for celebration and remembrance. So, I forgot about work. I enjoyed the graduation ceremony, I really listened to the commencement speech (and it was really good), I savored the moment. We took pictures afterward, we froze our butts off, and we got to spend some quality time together at dinner.

Which brings me to the speech, and the story above is a microcosm of what I have done wrong, and I don't want Kelly, or any of my children, or anyone else to do. The best life is a balanced life. You need to balance work with Faith, Family and Friendship. It will make you a better person, a happier person and a more well-rounded person. You will have choices throughout your life to work or spend time with your family, your friends or at church or in a church-related activity. There are definitely times, where work calls, and you have to answer. There are times though, where work calls, and you need to hang up and tell work to call back later.

I could tell countless stories to highlight this (unfortunately). I missed a friend's wedding because I was too busy at work. I missed countless children's activities. I blew off church to go to work. When our boys were born (twins making our third and fourth children), Laurel gave me the choice of working less or quitting playing golf. I quit golf. Ultimately, if you don't lead a balanced life, you can not, and will not, be nearly as effective as a person or an employee to your company. I don't want employees like me. People who know when to stop working, who lead a balanced life, bring a better attitude and demeanor to work. They are much happier, relaxed and energetic at work. They are fun to work with. I can tell you that I've heard this throughout my career from supervisors and managers I've had. As one partner in public accounting once told me, "there is enough work here that you could work seven days a week, 24 hours a day, and the work still wouldn't get done. You need to learn to just walk away at the end of a day satisfied with what you did and come back the next day to start on it again." The work will always be there. Some of the special moments won't be, once they're gone, they're gone forever.

So, enjoy your life. When you're at work, work hard, give your best to your company. When the work day is done, leave it behind, it will be there tomorrow. Spend time with your family and with your friends. Get involved in community activities or church activities. Travel and see other countries and other parts of the US. Set the computer aside at night. Turn the Blackberry off. Listen with all your heart. When you are with loved ones, be always present.

If you need any advice on how to do all of this, talk to Dave Carr, he is who I want to be when I grow up.

The Apple Sometimes Falls Far From the Tree

I’ve posted two videos, one of Patrick singing Not a Day Goes By, and one of Sean singing Be My Escape. There are several reasons I wanted to post these videos. One, of course, is that I’m incredibly proud of them. I believe they are both very talented musically. They both sing, play guitar, play piano, and used to play the French Horn. I have absolutely no idea where this talent comes from, and it definitely doesn’t come from me. As Laurel notes, I’m lucky they let me sing in the pews at church, and to be honest, I can’t even clap along to a song. I’m also incredibly proud of them because they are willing to get up in front of people and do this. I have had to give many presentations and speeches in front of people, but I couldn’t imagine ever trying to perform in front of others. I think it takes a great deal of courage and love to do something like this.

Lastly, I wanted to post these as a tribute to their voice teacher Steve Burkholder. Actually Steve has also been their piano teacher, counselor, therapist, advisor, and I’m sure a multitude of other titles. I used to say that it takes a Church to Raise a Child. There is so much that children deal with these days, it takes more than parents to raise them. The Church provides so much help, and the schools help a great deal also, if you find the right school. Sometimes, however, you are able to find someone who comes into their lives that helps them become the person they have the capability of becoming. Steve has done that for Sean and Patrick. We are so thankful and blessed that he is a part of their lives.

Patrick McCullough - Not a Day Goes By

The videographer didn't do a great job, but Patrick did.

Sean McCullough - Be My Escape

I had to cut the last part of the song to allow it to fit, but you can still see what a great job Sean did.

Small Group

To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special. - excerpt from Jim Valvano's final speech at the Espy Awards.

Since the mid to late 90's, I've been a member of a "small group" at my former church in Dayton, Ohio. There have been 10 of us who have gotten together on Saturdays, evenings, mornings for breakfast, for retreats, for baseball games, for over 10 years. I've been the "spottiest" member, since I moved to Georgia in the late 90's and now again in 2006. Dave Carr recently moved away also, to North Carolina, so now the local group is down to eight. We are a mixed bag, a cross section of people, some politically liberal, some conservative, some middle of the road. Our religious views are probably similar, some liberal, some conservative, some middle of the road. Some are married, some divorced, some currently in relationships, some not. We are somewhat similar in age, I think I'm the youngest at 49, not even sure who the oldest is, it really doesn't matter. What brings us together is our love of God, our search for answers in life, our need and desire for fellowship and community, and our love and support of each other. With our diversity and differing views, we have some great discussions and debates, we often trail off into so many tangents we have no idea where we started, but in the end, we enjoy the time and fellowship together. We have done book reviews and discussions, but we typically can't stay on task. We did "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" to start, and we quit about halfway through. We did "Tuesday's with Morrie", and all of us liked it (except Jim Clay of course). We tried various others, but in the end, we would digress into whatever philosophical discussion surfaced that day.

Last weekend, Dave Carr planned a retreat to Lake Lure in North Carolina. We were able to get eight of us committed to go, which is amazing considering everyone's busy schedules. The last couple days before the trip, three had to back out due to illness, and some serious illness with loved ones (Sadly, Tom Wilson's mother died shortly thereafter). So, it was down to five of us. We all got there late afternoon or so on Friday, and had the opportunity to share. We shared so much. There may be some things we don't tell each other, but it really can't be much. We open up, we share our dreams, our hopes, our fears. We talked about our loves, our wives, our children, we talked about dying, we talked about our walk with God. We talked about politics, we talked about health care reform, we talked about jobs, church, church politics. We laughed, we cried, we thought a lot. We took a nice long walk in the mountain area, it was incredible there. We locked ourselves out of the cabin and tried everyway possible to find a way in. John Ey miraculously got a locked door open after three of us had tried the door, he will forever be immortalized for that. Nike Nihiser cooked us some great meals, and we ate at a local restaurant on Lake Lure.

When it came time to leave on Sunday, we hugged and had to move on and get back to our real lives. Even though we leave each other, we still correspond, we still talk, we still share. I'm still on a high from that weekend. That is probably one of the biggest things I miss in my life right now. I think it's hard for men to make friends to have someone to share with and talk to about their lives, their hopes, their fears. In a sense, I still have that since I can talk to my Small Group or e-mail with them, but you miss something having that regular discussion.

Like with anything else, you can mourn the loss of not having something you used to have, or cherish what you did have and what you can still make of it. The high I have from that weekend to me represents a celebration of what we had and still have. So few people, especially so few men, have a relationship like this. We laughed, we cried, we thought a lot. We will continue to do that, even if distance, time, commitments make it harder. That's what a Small Group is all about.

Interview with WIKA

As I noted in my previous post, I was with Barco for 13 1/2 years. Looking for a new job after all that time was a new experience for me. As I went through the process, I kept my family and close friends up to date on my progress. Here is the e-mail I sent after finally concluding my search and choosing WIKA. It was a funny process to go through. When I went on interviews I felt so strange thinking about going into a new building each day for work after being at Barco so long. WIKA was a place that I really felt at home, which meant so much for me. As a side note, you will all be happy to know that once Michael Jackson died, the boys have changed Laurel's text signature to Queen Latifa. In any event, the e-mail I sent after it was all said and done:

As many of you know, I was down to the final two candidates on two jobs, which were decided within the last week. Of course, I tried to do the math and figure that 50% on two would work out to be 100% on one! OK, I knew that wasn't the case. So I heard from the one, and as I suspected and knew deep down, they viewed me as being overqualified and determined it wouldn't work out. I was OK with that, although I wanted to have something in hand, even if it may not be the one job I wanted.

So it came down to the other job, which I interviewed for on Tuesday. As noted, I knew they were down to the final two candidates, and I really wanted this position. It was only 10 minutes from my house, but more because of the opportunity and the challenge it presented. I really felt like it was an ideal fit for me. I spent a lot of time prepping for the interview, and ensuring I would be as ready as possible. Tuesday morning I was getting pretty nervous because I really wanted to do well. But there were two factors that helped me be as calm as possible.

One was that the recruiter that I was working with gave me some phone tips on being as prepared and feeling as good as possible. He said shine your shoes, get a haircut, wear your lucky tie, do whatever makes you feel good about yourself and confident. I kept thinking, these are the types of things I always do, so no real help here. Then it dawned on me. I always carry a folder with me with the company information and any other information that I believe will be helpful in the interview. I took a picture I have of my four children and paper clipped it on the inside of the folder. I consider them my motivation, I need to do everything I can to take care of them. That was the inspiration I needed.

The other thing takes a bit of a story. As many of you know, my wife Laurel takes a great deal of abuse from all of us. At one point, the boys have changed her signature on her phone's text message to be from Michael Jackson. She doesn't know how to change it, so anytime you get a text from Laurel, it's signed Michael Jackson. Shortly before I left to go to the interview, I got a text message that said, "We're all praying for you, signed Michael Jackson". One, how could I possibly not succeed with everyone praying for me. Two, the Michael Jackson part just cracked me up. So I left for the interview and felt so relaxed and calm.

I spent 6 1/2 hours there, interviewed with various people, got a plant tour, and went to dinner with five people. I got peppered with questions, got to eat two bites of my steak, but it was worth it, I wanted to focus on the interview and handling all of their questions. After the interview, I was sky high. I really felt like I had put myself in the best position possible for an offer. I knew they were interviewing the other candidate on Wednesday, so I had to wait of course. Wednesday was hard, Thursday was awful. As some can attest to, I was incredibly crabby on Thursday, worrying about the outcome. Late on Thursday, I received the call that I had received the offer. I plan to tell Barco today that I will be leaving in three weeks. I start my new job on August 25th.

Last night, I brought Laurel some flowers and a card. As I told her, we did it, I couldn't have done it without her. She actually was a part of the interview process with the recruiter, they wanted to get her perspective on me and what I was like. Of course that's a small part of it, she is a huge part of everything that I am and that I do. I couldn't have ever done this without her.

And I couldn't have done it without all of you. Your prayers, your calls, your wishes, your help, everything you've done has been incredible. I know some of you are tired of hearing it, but I really do feel like George Bailey from "It's a Wonderful Life". I can't believe how many people have done so much to try to help me and be there for me. I am so thankful every day, and I am so happy that God has put so many great people in my life. I don't understand or know why I've been blessed with so much, but all I can do is thank all of you and thank God of course. Thank you, thank you all.

I'm very sad to be leaving Barco, I have been here 13 1/2 years, and I have loved it, especially the people I have grown with here. It's time though to embark on a new adventure. This may be the last e-mail for a while, I just wanted to give you closure at least on this chapter. A new chapter begins in a few weeks.

My Farewell from Barco

I spent 13 1/2 years at Barco, and I loved 11 or 12 of those years. I bled Barco red, I moved three times for Barco, uprooting my family and causing my daughters to hate me for many, many years. I don't blame Barco, I did it for love, I really enjoyed working there. When it came time to move on, it was hard, I hated to leave, but it was really time. The following was my farewell letter to my colleagues at Barco. I miss them deeply and only wish all the best for them.

“If I were to wish for anything I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of what can be, for the eye, which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating as possibility?”

Soren Kierkegaard

Dear all:

As I leave Barco, this is what strikes me as what Barco offers to us all. I have had so many instances over my career where I could talk enthusiastically about what Barco does, what it offers, what is the possibility. I remember a time when I was sitting on a plane, and the gentleman next to me asked what I do. I told him I work for Barco, and I told him about some of the unbelievable things that we do. Once I was done, he said, “wow, I sell pallets”. Do we all realize how many people in the world sell pallets while we are a part of such incredible ways of displaying possibility? I remember seeing how each layer of CMYK can bring the full colors of a tiger’s stripes to life at Barco Graphics, how three CRT’s can provide such amazing flight scenes, how stereoscopic imaging can help determine where to drill for oil.

I used to love it when recruits would ask what I liked about working at Barco. I would tell them that I loved working at Barco for a couple reasons. We did such incredible things. Our projectors were on the Space Shuttle Simulator, we were part of training some of the world’s greatest pilots, we were in some of the greatest aircraft, ships and other weapons in our military’s arsenal, we provided entertainment for the world, we educated children everywhere, we provided some of the greatest images in the medical community to diagnose and help cure.

I also told them that I never had a single day in Barco where I was bored. We were always doing something exciting. There was never a day that it wasn’t challenging. I used to tell people that Barco was like dog years. Each year was like seven years because you did so much, you learned so much, you experienced so much. So after 13 ½ years, I guess I’ve really worked over 90 years. Maybe that’s why I look so old.

I think back to when I started, I put so much into the perspective of my children and how they’ve grown with Barco. In the early years at Barco Graphics, I would take my daughters, Megan and Kelly, and my sons, Patrick and Sean, in on the weekends while I worked. I’d get caught up in what I was doing, and all of a sudden Patrick and Sean would show up in my office with handfuls of toys and stuff from people’s desks. I had to then go through the office and figure out where it all came from. They used to love going to the Kennesaw office and seeing the “candy lady”. The boys learned how to make electricity from a potato and a capacitor in Xenia from Masoud Ali. Once we introduced C-TPAT in Duluth, the boys didn’t get to come to Barco anymore (Carolyn, I think Patrick and Sean want to thank you). They used to ask me if they could work at Barco someday because it was so ingrained in our lives.

My daughters are grown up now, and my sons are almost there. Now, it’s time for me to grow up and move on. I’ve had the opportunity to work with so many incredible people at Barco. We have so many intelligent and innovative people within Barco. We also have some great entrepreneurs. One of my older colleagues, Hans Dekeyser, and I often discuss that it takes a special person to work at Barco, and there is an intensity and commitment that so many long term associates at Barco have. It takes a special breed to work at Barco, and take heart in knowing you are a special breed.

While we all would like to have some great legacy to live on after we leave, I saw something recently that I would love to be my legacy. It goes like this:

When he retired from the Supreme Court, Justice Thurgood Marshall was asked of what accomplishment he was most proud. He answered, simply, “That I did the best I could with what I had.”

In closing, I encourage you to remember the possibilities within Barco. Sometimes we lose sight of it, but Barco provides a wealth of possibilities for us all. And finally, for each of you, for everything you do:

Choose Your Attitude
“As you enter this place of work, please choose to make today a great day. Your colleagues, customers, team members, and you yourself will be thankful. Find ways to play. We can be serious about our work without being serious about ourselves. Stay focused in order to be present when your customers and team members most need you. And should you feel your energy lapsing, try this surefire remedy. Find someone who needs a helping hand, a word of support, or a good ear – and make their day.”

Thank you all for 13 ½ wonderful years. I’ll miss you all.

Journey of Faith

Aw, the ironies of life. I wrote the attached Journey of Faith after we had moved back to Dayton from Georgia. Now we're back in Georgia. Again, no offense, we enjoy it here, and we enjoy our new church, but we love Dayton, and we love Westminster. While my Statement of Faith hasn't really changed, I guess in a sense, my Journey of Faith has. It's complete up to a certain point, but I'll need to continue the journey at some point. At the bottom, I note four snapshots, four forks, four choices. There are more snapshots, more forks, more choices, but for now,

JOURNEY OF FAITH

PROLOGUE

For those of you who were here for my Statement of Faith, I like prologues. When I have mentally prepared my Journey of Faith, I often begin at an early college age as this was when I came back to church as you will hear about shortly. The more and more I thought about it, however, I realized that this wasn’t a fair assessment. While I quit going to church for 4-5 years, mainly during high school, part of what brought me back was that foundation that was built early on. I think where it really struck me was when we had all of those discussions on Whole Community Worship. I thought back to those early years when I learned The Lords Prayer, Apostles Creed, the Beatitudes, various Psalms. I remembered those times in Sunday School and in church and realized, this was the foundation that my faith was built on. While I left the church for a while, this was a major reason that I came back. And it’s probably helped me a lot throughout the years as my journey has not always been the smoothest. That being said,

MY JOURNEY OF FAITH
There are so many moments or periods of time in everyone’s life that shapes who they are. As I searched and thought about what has shaped my life and my journey of faith, I came across four “snapshots” from my life that were those forks in the road that Jim Clay so eloquently talked about last month. I believe that thanks to taking the right road when faced with each of these forks has made all of the difference in my life.

Alcohol, drugs and rock and roll. In many ways, that sums up my high school years. That’s probably the biggest reason that I am scared to death for my children to hit this stage of life. There are so many times that I should have been dead or seriously hurt, but for the most part, I escaped anything too serious. Do you know what it’s like to wake up in bed and have absolutely no idea how you got there? I can assure you, it’s pretty scary. I often think about the story Sandy has told in one or two of his sermons where at the end the gentleman attributed a huge moment in his life to luck. I don’t think so.

As unlikely as my journey could begin, it began under the influence of a substance that is unimportant at the moment out with some friends playing pickup basketball. One of the guys playing was Don Dougherty. Don was one of the extremely cool guys of the time. He had long hair, was confidently quiet, was big, and was well-liked by the girls. He also had always been a partier. But Don had a new girl friend, from a different school, who went to church. So Don had quit partying and was going to church. Of course, we figured that this change in Don was all attributable to a female. They can often be bad influences on males. After playing basketball for a while, we were sitting around talking. Somehow, various questions were directed Don’s way. What was going on with him? He had changed so much. Much to our surprise, it wasn’t just a girl thing, he talked very seriously about Jesus Christ and how accepting Jesus had changed his life. I’m not quite sure why or how this hit me so much. Maybe it was because I was so lost at the time. Maybe it was because it was coming from Don. In any event, when I went home that evening, I told my mother I was going to go to church with her the next week. This made my mother ecstatic as she was always the one responsible for getting all of us to church, and my older brothers had quit going long ago. I was pretty much the last hope, and until now, a lost cause.

The next Sunday, I went to church. It was Westminster Presbyterian Church in Butler, Pa. The head pastor was Stuart Perrin and the associate pastor was his son, Daniel Perrin. These gentlemen were rock solid in their faith, I would come to discover later, and they really had a profound effect on me. The sermon that morning was “The Amazing Grace of God” and was geared around the writing of the song. I had returned to church at that point, and have never looked back since. But not to mislead anyone, it wasn’t a solid upward line from that point headed in the direction of the kingdom of God. It was an extremely jagged line, with many ups, but also some downs along the way.

A difficult moment for me and all of our family came when my brother Bill committed suicide. There are probably not many days that go by where I don’t think about it. Last week, I was in Sandy’s office, and he mentioned Ann Hardwick. His comment was that there was absolutely no clue that she was going to commit suicide. In my brother’s case, we all knew. He had pretty much pre-ordained this for himself at an early age. He had a fascination with suicide, finding it to be a heroic means to an end. Do you know what it’s like to helplessly watch and know someone you love is going to do something like this, but have absolutely no idea of how to stop it, change the course of life? We all sat by, knowing it was inevitable, but having no idea how to stop it. While this has been one of the most painful, if not the most painful, episodes in my life, it has made me stronger in my faith and my desire to live and to cherish life. In many ways, I probably suffer in the same respects that my brother did, but as I sorted through his death and my own faith journey, I realized that this was not the answer. I had been given a life, a wonderful life, and I had to fight to always remember that.

Probably the biggest downward curve was when Laurel and I experienced some marital difficulties several years ago. I had come to the conclusion that our marriage was not fulfilling. We went through marriage counseling, but ultimately, I chose to leave. I piled all of my clothes and belongings in our van, and set out looking for a new life. I ended up staying at friends’ homes, moving from place to place, being a vagabond of sorts. I slept on pull-out sofas, on floors, in guest bedrooms. I remembering waking up at one friend’s home and trying to figure out where I was, I had moved around so much. I also remember looking in the mirror the one morning and really not recognizing who was looking back at me. I stared and stared and really couldn’t recognize who was looking back. It was the strangest feeling.

This all happened during the midst of the end of the Lowry era here. At that point, I had no one to turn to at the church. I was out there on my own. And I was lost. Probably the only thing that saved me, or us, was the time I had to think and to try to figure out what was important in our lives. I remember sitting in the basement of one of my friend’s homes listening over and over again to “Hymns to the Silence” by Van Morrison. I remember driving from Cincinnati everyday for a while from one friend’s home, thinking and thinking about what was happening. I remember sitting in my apartment, with no furniture, except for a bed, trying to figure out where my life was headed. Ultimately, I went back. I learned a lot during this time. I learned that my wife was a lot stronger than I was. I learned that while Laurel could forgive me, I really couldn’t forgive myself. I learned that I really needed my church family, but unfortunately my church family was going through a troubling time also, and really couldn’t help me.

Eventually, that changed too. As our family and I changed and grew, Westminster grew along with it. A few years ago, we had the choice to leave Dayton and go to Georgia or stay here. Ultimately we decided to leave. I remember right after making that decision, Tom Preisser approaching me in the Narthex and saying what a wonderful church this was to raise your children in and how important that was these days. He didn’t know we were leaving, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him. We left and joined a large and active church in Marietta, Ga. I still remember when we asked the kids if they wanted to join First Church, Kelly saying, “I want to go to Westminster”. I said that I did too, but that wasn’t an option. I still remember sitting in church and feeling guilty, like I shouldn’t be there. It never felt like home.

Once when I was traveling to Dayton from Georgia, I came to a service here, which I believe was Kay’s ordination service. It was a special day in the life of the church, and the pastoral staff was at full strength after many years of interims. While I was happy for all of you, I was saddened by the fact that we would not be a part of a very exciting future. When the opportunity arose to come back to Dayton, we said yes. Probably one of the biggest reasons was this church. The one factor that we had failed to put enough weight on in our move was how important our church family had become to us. When people would ask us why we preferred Dayton, do you have family there? We’d answer no, but then, really we did. We had grown as a couple in this church, our children were born and baptized here, had grown up here. We had been through the difficult times, and we had experienced the good times. This was our home. We couldn’t wait to get back here. And for each special service we were able to experience again, Maundy Thursday, Easter Sunday, Heritage Sunday, Youth Sunday or those special moments like the kick-off of a new Christian Education year, we rejoice.

Four snapshots, four roads, four forks, four choices. God, life, family, church. With a great deal of help from God, I think I have made the right decisions, and that has made all the difference in the world.

My Statement of Faith

Several years ago, I wrote my Statement of Faith when I was an Elder at my favorite church, Westminster Presbyterian Church in Dayton, Ohio. No offense to any other churches, but this was where I "grew up" in my faith, had most of my formative years in my marriage to my wife Laurel, and where my children were all raised and baptized. I re-read it recently, and it still holds true. While I may have grown in many ways, my Statement of Faith still holds pretty true. So, here it is:

STATEMENT OF FAITH

PROLOGUE

This is an extremely difficult exercise for me. While I realize it is also for all of you, I think I find it so difficult because I take such a simplistic view to life. I am definitely not what people would call “a deep thinker”, and I usually take the approach of one of my favorite philosophers who said, “I y’am what I y’am, and that’s all I y’am”.

I also still have I guess somewhat of a childlike exuberance when it comes to religion. There are many times I have moments where I just want to say “Wow!”, particularly when something really hits me during the Worship Service, but fortunately I do have some sense of decorum, and I keep those comments inside of me. I don’t feel that I’m very far on my religious journey as some of you are, but I’ve come to accept that, and realize that the journey is the thing, not the destination. My time will come, I just have to have patience. I have to admit though that patience is a virtue that I do not possess, which anyone in my family can attest to. Laurel would probably change the adverb above to childish rather than childlike. But I digress.

I am thankful for some of the resources I had to prepare this and must give credit. The fantastic sermons that I stuff into my planner that I pull out on plane trips that I call “The Best of Westminster Church.” I have about 6 or 8 that I have read over and over again and periodically add to my collection. If any of the ministers note some plagiarism tonight, remember that imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Tom Long’s sermon on Kindness that I listen to in the car when I need a boost., thanks to John Ey. And the words of wisdom that come from my small group, both over the course of time and over the past few weeks when I’d make those panicked phone calls asking for ideas on my statement of faith. If I can stick a plug in here and use one of my favorite slogans from my favorite sport, “Small Group Fever, Catch It!”.

I had considered taking the easy way out and just saying, “I believe”, but that wouldn’t be fair to any of you and it wouldn’t be fair to me. I’ve also never been one to take the easy road, which my boss continually reminds me of and which drives him crazy. So without any further ado,

MY STATEMENT OF FAITH

I believe that each of us is a child of God created in the image of God and embraced by the mercy of God through Jesus Christ.

I believe that while there are many instances in our world where it may not seem like God can possibly be present, God is somehow present, offering faith, courage, and hope.

I believe that The Golden Rule may be very simplistic, but it is probably one of, if not the most, effective way of dealing with people.

I believe that imagination is one of the greatest gifts that God has given us, and it gives us the ability to have hope. To steal from one of the sermons mentioned above, “hope is faith pointed toward the future”, which gives us the ability to see each other and the world as it will be in the Kingdom of God.

I believe that passion is the greatest gift that God has given us, but in many instances, our passion can be misplaced. I believe that the greatest people who have walked on this earth have had a passion for following God, righting wrongs, curing injustice, and usually all of the above.

I believe in miracles and I believe that there is a certain magic in the world and that magic comes from God through miracles.

I believe that what my daughter Megan once said to me at a very early age, that the world is really a beautiful place is true. Unfortunately, in too many instances, rather than “stopping to smell the roses”, I have trampled them on the way to my destination. While I still haven’t stopped to smell the roses yet, I have at least started to notice them.

I believe that there are many times in our lives when God speaks to us, but we are usually too busy to hear. In some instances, at least in my case, God gives me a swift kick in the head when the message is important enough.

I believe that I have been given an enormous number of gifts from God, and for the life of me, I have no idea why. I also believe that there are many people who have not, and it bothers me a lot that I’ve been given so much and others have been given so little. This one I still struggle with tremendously, and I have no quick and easy answers other than to say I need to share the gifts I’ve been given as much as I can.

I believe that the essence of true contentment comes from the line in “Be Thou My Vision” that says, “Riches I need not, nor man’s empty praise, Thou my inheritance through all of my days”. I wish I could say I was there, but I’m not. As I noted, it’s the journey that counts. I’m still a work in progress.