Last weekend, June 11, 2011, I walked my oldest child, Megan, down the aisle to marry Thomas McDonald. I looked forward to this moment with great anticipation, and trepidation, for so many months, and in all of my wildest dreams, I couldn't have imagined that this day could have been any better. I finally get it. I have to admit, I never quite understood all of the drama and love for weddings, but now I get it. Outside of my own wedding, and the birth of my children, this was the greatest day of my life. I would do this again in a heartbeat, and I give a fair warning to Kelly, you will have a wedding like this someday, whether you like it or not.
Leading up to the wedding, the trepidation part was due to my fear of how I would be walking Megan down the aisle and for the Father of the Bride Dance. There would be random moments, sitting at my desk, out for my morning run, whenever, wherever, where I would burst into tears thinking about those moments. While I understood that it would be relatively acceptable to cry during those moments, I didn't want to "ugly cry" as one of my colleagues, Nancy, would say at work. I kept thinking and believing, there was no way I could make it through without an ugly cry. This thought haunted me leading up to the wedding and even that morning. The night before the wedding, my brother Jim made the comment, "Laurel looks great, she looks calm, Megan looks great, she looks calm, the only one that looks awful is you." The morning of the wedding, we went to breakfast, and afterward, my Mother said, "What's wrong?", and I started crying.
Maybe it's hard for some people to understand, but I really don't think it is, the whole process and concept of giving away your daughter is overwhelming. So many memories run through your mind, you go back to those days when she was a baby, when she was a little girl, when she sang "Little Miss Magic" with you.... Ah, the memories. While you have the joy and excitement for the life to come for her, you are still tied to those memories of what was, and what will never be again. It is life, it is how it must be, it is right, but that doesn't mean it's not hard.
Before I reveal how I made it through (or didn't) the critical moments of the wedding, I'd like to provide some key moments from the wedding and the few days leading up to the wedding:
- You always wonder what your future in-laws are going to be like, and that worry was quickly dispelled. The McDonald's are incredible. We always have loved Thomas, he's an incredible young man, but I had never met the rest of the family. Kathy and Peter McDonald are fantastic people, and their sons are amazing. I told Kathy and Peter that I'd adopt any of their sons in a heartbeat.
- Not only that, but the extended family was incredible. We had the opportunity to meet various cousins and other members of the McDonald extended family the few nights before the wedding, and they were a great group of people.
- We were blessed by several family members coming, including my parents from South Carolina, my brother and sister-in-law from North Carolina, and nieces, nephews, and their spouses or fiancees from states far away. Laurel's niece Heather and her husband Tom carted four young boys from Indiana up for the wedding, and the boys behaved unbelievably.
- Four of the Small Group members from my former church in Dayton came, including two spouses, to support me and to support us. As we always said, it takes a Small Group to raise a child, and my Small Group helped us through many difficult times raising our children. We had those there in body, and we also had those there in spirit. We couldn't have raised our children without them, and we were so blessed for what they have done in our lives.
- Our sons, Patrick and Sean, sang before the wedding, two songs that they wrote themselves, and "Can't Help Falling in Love With You", the Elvis Presley song. They did a great job, even though they stressed us out considerably, changing the words, changing the songs, up until the morning of the wedding.
- Thomas' brother, Bob, gave an incredible toast. I have never in my life heard a toast like he gave, Bob is an amazing young man.
- Jodi DiCenzo, a young lady I worked with over 20 years ago, who lives in the Chicago area, came to the wedding. When Megan was a baby, her parents used to babysit Megan, so that Laurel and I could go out and have some time away from our newborn.
- As many people suggested, I savored every moment. I knew the day would fly by, so I made sure I took in everything that happened. I watched, I listened, I enjoyed. I stayed until the very end, until we essentially were told, politely, to leave.
- The old saying goes, youth is wasted on the young. I disagree, it is so much fun watching the young being young. I stood in the corner for so much of the dancing late at night, just watching young people being young people. They have so much in front of them, so much to offer, we were them many years ago, let them have the moment now.
- Thomas and his Mother did an amazing job on the Mother of the Groom Dance. They danced to "Forever Young" by Rod Stewart. It was upbeat, fun, energizing, I smiled and laughed the whole time watching them, it was a great follow-up to Megan and my Father of the Bride Dance.
So, we get to the two key moments, at least for me. The time came for walking Megan down the aisle. Beforehand, Kathy McDonald and I talked and decided we couldn't make eye contact. As I walked down the aisle, I looked straight ahead, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. I knew if I looked at any of my Small Group, I was doomed. I was really good until I got toward the end of the aisle. I glanced over at Kathy, and had to look away quickly. Then I looked at Laurel. No!!! The one I could always count on to hold it together was crying! How could this be? I held up fairly well, I gave Megan a kiss, shook Thomas' hand, and went on my way. Some people may have noticed I stepped on Megan's wedding dress, but that's beside the point.
The time came for the Father of the Bride Dance. Our song, which I chose, was "Little Miss Magic" by Jimmy Buffett. When Megan was little, we would ride around in the car, and sing it. It was a magical memory for me, many years ago, when Megan was young, I was young, when she was "the only other woman for me". Times have changed, I've lost a lot of hair, what's left of it has grown much greyer, and Megan has grown into a beautiful and wonderful young lady. I got to dance that one final dance and tell her so many things every father wants to tell his daughter. I love you very much, I'm so proud of you, we love Thomas, you've married into an incredible family, I can't imagine this day being any better than it is, remember what the message was today at the wedding, you are making a commitment to Thomas and to God. Within moments, it was over, but the memory, that moment, will last with me forever. One last time, she was my little girl, she was my baby, she was my Little Miss Magic.
Did I cry during the Father of the Bride Dance? Yeah, like a baby. Was it an ugly cry? Maybe it was, but to be honest, I really don't care. The moment was so beautiful and precious to me, I don't really care what I looked like. For those few moments, I really didn't notice anyone or anything around me, all I saw or heard was Megan. That's all that mattered. All I hope and pray is that she's happy, and she seems so happy with Thomas, that's all that matters, that's all any parent could want for their child.
Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be? Little Miss Magic, what you gonna be?
Little Miss Magic, just can't wait to see...
