Thanks God - There are Three Parts to All of This?

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dr. Chappell has been doing sermons on the Book of Job at church the last few weeks, which has been incredible. Until today. Oh, the sermon was incredible, as I've told Dr. Chappell he pitches a shutout every week (I love baseball analogies), I have no idea how he does it, but this was a two-hit shutout with 13 strikeouts. The sermon was incredible and had me in tears several times. Today for me, the pain of the sermon series came in, which of course, will bear explanation.

For those who don't know, Job suffered a great deal of pain and loss in his life. Whatever possible could be taken away from Job or whatever pain and suffering that could be inflicted on Job, it took place. His friends had a great deal of advice for Job, all of it wrong, and they provided many reasons why Job was suffering, mainly due to his having sinned against God or offending God in some way. Eventually, God rewarded Job for his faithfulness, and Job received many great blessings from God. If the story stopped there, I would have felt a whole lot better. The theme of the sermon today was on God calling Job to pray for the forgiveness of his friends who had given Job poor counsel throughout his pain and suffering. Of course, Job eventually does this.

The sermon's central theme was forgiveness. Until we eventually release our hearts to forgive those who have committed wrongs against us, we can never be whole. We can never truly love, never truly follow a life of discipleship, if we can't forgive. As Hamlet would say, "ay, there's the rub."

I would never be so audacious to compare myself to Job or what we have gone through to the suffering that Job experienced. The last two years or so have been incredibly painful for many reasons, both from a work perspective and in our personal lives. Throughout the hardship we experienced, we maintained our faith and belief that while God wasn't always visible in what was happening, God was always there supporting us through our pain.

A new year has brought a great deal of gifts from God. The economy has improved, and our business has grown at WIKA. The boys have been having a great time at their new school, and they are doing some incredible things. Kelly found a job in a very difficult economy. Megan just got engaged to a really great guy. Laurel and I attended a marriage class at church, and it has made our communication and marriage even better. There have been so many times lately that I have that mixed emotion of being so thankful, but feeling so guilty that we have been so blessed with so much. This weekend was kind of the culmination of the showering of gifts from God. Sean's soccer team won twice to go to 9-0-1, but what is so much more important about it is that Sean is having a great time and enjoying playing with his new team, his new teammates and his coaches. Patrick went to the state competition for solo singing and placed fourth with an incredible performance. Then we got the call that Megan got engaged.

So, as noted above, there are three parts to all of this? Through the pain and suffering we experienced, there were some people who played a part in causing that pain and suffering either directly or indirectly. We have struggled to find it in our hearts to forgive the people who caused our family so much turmoil the last couple of years. While I know in my heart that I really understood the point that I had to forgive those people before I heard it in the sermon today, the reality is that the sermon hammered that point home. I am failing right now because I can't forgive these people. I wish I could say that the sermon pushed me over the edge, and miraculously I have found it in my heart to forgive these people, but I still can't. That is why today was so painful for me. I am incomplete right now, and I know I have to change. As Dr. King says above, "he who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love."

For those of you who do read my blog, I need your help. I need you to pray for me, that I can find the power to forgive. I also need you to pray for me that I don't beat myself up too much. As I sat there today and the grim realization hit me that I had not finished the process that Job went through, that I hadn't done the important step of forgiving others, it really tore me apart. Let me find it in my heart to forgive those who have wronged our family, and let me find it in my heart to forgive myself for having such a hard time doing this.

The Passing of a Classmate

I saw a post on Facebook about one of my classmates, Denny Kelly, passing due to cancer. As we all get older, and there is no doubt, I am getting older, this will be happening more and more, it is the reality of life. I saw that they were having a tribute to Denny yesterday in Slippery Rock, PA, where I grew up, and distance wouldn't have allowed me to attend, I have my own tribute to Denny, and a very valuable lesson I shared with my sons.

Back in high school or maybe right after high school, one of our classmates had a party at his house, his parents were out of town. As much as I hate to admit it (especially for my kids to read), I'm certain we were drinking and doing various other things we shouldn't have been doing. At one point, one of our classmates arrived, and he wasn't welcome by the host. Our host took a paper plate full of shaving cream, and shoved it in the young man's face, and told him to leave. At first, the guy thought it was a joke, and even starting licking the shaving cream off his face, thinking it was whipped cream, but then shortly realized, it wasn't a joke. He got a really hurt look on his face, and slowly walked away from the party and left.

All of us at the party laughed as the whole scenario transpired. Some laughed because they truly thought it was funny. Some, probably most, were like me. We laughed that uncomfortable laugh when something is happening that really we don't agree with, but we are too scared or don't have the guts to stand up for what is right or against what is wrong. We all laughed except for Denny. Denny was the only person who got really angry and stood up for something that was really wrong. He confronted the host and told him what he did was wrong, and he shouldn't have done it. Of course our host got mad at Denny, told him he didn't know what he was talking about, I'm sure some of the people ridiculed Denny, but he still stood up for what he believed in.

OK, so that event happened 30 years ago or so. It is one of those memories that haunts me to this day. I'm not saying I think about this daily or anything like that, but I've thought about it many times over those 30 years. I can see the look of pain on the victim's face. I can see Denny taking the high road and calling out our host for doing what he did. Denny took the hard way in this situation, and I took the easy road. Or did I? And that is the message I gave to my sons. In the short term, Denny took the hard route. I'm sure the rest of the evening was uncomfortable for Denny, being the minority, sticking up for what was right. Maybe the next few days were too, I really don't know. But probably shortly after all of this, Denny forgot about it. He had a clear conscience, because he did what was right. I've lived with this for 30 years. Short term, I took the easy way out. Long term, I've had to live with not doing the right thing. As I told the boys, whether it may be painful at the time, and it may even be painful for a short time after that, you can't go wrong if you do the right thing.

Here's to Denny Kelly for doing the right thing that night. I learned a valuable lesson, and I hope that I've been able to pass that lesson on to my sons so that if and when they are confronted with a situation like this, they will do the right thing also.