A little over a month ago, I wrote, “Sinking Deep – OK, I Lied”, and I promised that my next blog post would be “What Does Happiness Look Like?”. But then I wrote, “Sinking Deep – OK, I Lied. Again.” I’m seeing a pattern here. But finally we are to “What Does Happiness Look Like?”.
As I noted when I promised this post, my cousin Tim Rodgers’ son, Ian, is my inspiration for this post. A couple of months ago, Ian wrote the following post on Facebook:
“For the first time in years, I am happy. Not fleeting happiness. Actual, consistent, contentment. I have been for a few months. It didn't hit me that I was all of a sudden in a better place. It happened gradually, almost so slowly that I didn't realize it (it's like growing taller-you don't wake up one day and realize you're tall...).
I'm thrilled to be able to write these words: I am happy. It feels foreign. But it's real, and I value it immensely. I've been able to harness that happiness to rediscover my passions. I'm reading again. I’m taking better care of my body, working out, and I'm running a half marathon this weekend. I'm going on more adventures. I'm making the most of this precious possession.
I'm nervous to write these words. My happiness is unpredictable. My brain can be cruel and unforgiving, and as quickly as it escaped the darkness, it can suck me right back in.
It fills me with questions, questions that show that the pain and doubt don't usually go too far away: Is this real? Does writing it down jinx it? How long will this period of light last? And perhaps most of all, if people don't like me, and I can't blame it on my mental illness because I'm in a good place, does that mean that I'm just bad?
Even with the doubts, the questions, the fears, I still recognize that I am, for the first time in a while, happy. And I will hold on to that as long and as tightly as I can.”
Would you look at that face? Isn’t it amazing? I was so ecstatic when I read this post and saw that picture, I was so happy for Ian. It also made me think, what does happiness look like? I’ve had those fleeting moments of happiness as Ian describes, but not sustained happiness. I wondered what that would look like.
But then a funny thing happened on the way to a blog post. I got to experience happiness, and not fleeting happiness, but about two weeks of happiness, and if I may dare say, frickin’ giddiness. I was a man on fire. OK, it didn’t last, I didn’t stay in this state of euphoria, but then again, I didn’t sink deep again. For now, I’m in a good place.
But back to the post. When I saw Ian’s post and picture, it made me think, what does happiness look like? So I scanned back through various pictures on my computer, and I scanned through various pictures that some of you have posted over time. There have been some that have been my favorites, where I saw true happiness. Keep in mind, my eyes are the lens, you all may not agree with what I’ve chosen as what happiness looks like. There were way too many to choose from, so I missed some of you, and I apologize, and I also missed some great pictures, including today (specifically Pete and Lucy Sproull and the Martin girls!). And also keep in mind, I tend to favor dogs, babies, small children, and romance so my view is skewed in that direction (remember I’m a Hallmark Christmas movie junkie).
I hope you enjoy, I know I did putting it together. And thank you Ian for the inspiration and motivation to keep on searching for what happiness looks like.
One last thing for all of us to remember, especially me, and especially in this season:
“Fix your eyes on this one truth, God is madly in love with you”
