Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest's house, and Peter was following at a distance. And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, “This man also was with him.” But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.” And a little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not.” And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, “Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean.” But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.
My two favorite church services each year are Maundy Thursday and Easter Sunday. Due to the pandemic, I’ve had to miss those services these last two years, which has been painful for me. To be honest, it makes me angry, but I digress. While I love the pageantry and the joy of Easter Sunday, I find Maundy Thursday to be so powerful, and poignant, I’ve always found it to be the service I really gravitate to. I’ve seen the churches that I have attended do a phenomenal job of drawing the emotion out of this service and make it real for all of us.
There are so many moments in those last few hours that Jesus had with his disciples, the betrayal, the capture, the denial, and I often focus on the denial. Maybe it’s because Peter’s denial is mentioned in all four Gospels, or maybe it’s because I can feel that pain that Peter feels. We often look at Peter as “lesser than”, and wonder how could he have done this? How could he have denied Jesus at such a time?
Have you ever had a Peter moment?
I remember back two years ago, I was wallowing in my own Peter moment. I had denied Jesus. The story doesn’t matter, but I had turned my back on Him. My rationale or reasoning was far less than Peter’s, my life wasn’t on the line, it was much less. I remember going to yoga on Good Friday morning, and I remember lying in shavasana at the end of class, and I wept bitterly. All I could think was how I sometimes looked at Peter as failing Jesus, and I kept thinking I’m no better than Peter at this moment, I have failed Jesus.
But haven’t we all failed Jesus at some point or another, or really, maybe on a daily basis? And that’s the beauty of this story. Now, I’m no Biblical scholar, but I’ve heard that this story gets told so much, because Peter wanted it told. The point of the story isn’t Peter’s denial. It’s Jesus’ love for us no matter what, no matter if, and when, we deny Him.
As I looked at this moment, I was drawn to all of the beauty that has been created around this story. The one that struck me the most was surrounding J.S. Bach’s composition, and the question was:
Inevitably we suffer with Peter; but the uncomfortable question Bach asks us to consider is, would any of us have emerged from his ordeal with greater credit?
Peter loved Jesus, and Jesus knew that. Earlier in the scripture Jesus asked Peter three times, “Do you love me?” Peter of course answered yes, and he did love Jesus, he just couldn’t muster the courage to stand by Jesus in a very difficult situation, when his own life was on the line. As noted, I have denied Jesus with much less on the line, but just like Peter, I know that Jesus loves me no matter what. And my love and devotion for Jesus doesn’t change, even when I have those moments where I deny Him.
The pain, and the beauty, of Maundy Thursday never disappoints and keeps us pointed toward Easter Sunday. While we rejoice today in the glory of Easter Sunday, let’s not forget the betrayal, the capture, the denial that got us here.
