Thursday, December 24, 2009

Does God Talk To Us - Or Through Us?

Last winter, I was going through some struggles, and I was going through some particular struggles with Laurel. I can't remember what the issues were, it really doesn't matter, but I was irritable and frustrated with Laurel and it came to a boil the one night. Laurel had just arrived home from picking Sean up, and something set me off. I yelled and screamed, and I stormed out. I was done, I was determined that I was leaving, didn't know where I was going to go, but I was leaving. I thought about finding a hotel, seeing if I could stay with someone, but the intent was to just leave. As I drove and realized that neither a hotel nor staying with someone made much sense, I settled on going to work, I could go there, stay for a while, if needed, I could probably spend the night there. Anything, but going home. I took my computer with me since I didn't know if and when I would go back home, and I logged on when I got there. I had the following e-mail from Sean waiting for me:

"I didn't hear what went on tonight, and I'm glad I didn't hear it. If I had heard it, I don't know what I would have done. I don't know if I would have run or if I would have just stood there. One thing that is for certain is that I don't care who was wrong. I don't care who was right. If you ever do this again, I don't know what I'll do. You never do anything that upsets someone else, especially a lady, and not apologize. Even if you weren't wrong, it's best to apologize. Now, what you did tonight was give up. You became a Judas. Judas sold Jesus out. He killed him. Do you know what he did after that? He committed suicide. Peter, on the other hand, denied knowing Christ three times. Do you know what he did? He ran full-speed after Jesus. Every chance he got. Peter didn't give up when he messed up. Judas did. Don't give up. I don't want to see you end up like Judas, and I know you don't want to end up like him. I don't know what's been going on with you lately, but I don't care. There is never any excuse to do that. Giving up is the permanent solution to temporary problems. The problems will go away. Everything will fade. Goodness will be left in its place. Don't be mad at mom. She is just sensitive. She feels unappreciated. She is starting to realize that her daughters are taking advantage of her. She also feels that the men ( you, Patrick, and I) don't need her anymore. She feels useless and helpless. Please, help me and Patrick help her through this. Don't give up."

To say that this e-mail saved our marriage would be overstating it. Laurel and I have been married for 27 years, and like most marriages, we've had our ups and downs and fights along the way. I will say that this e-mail diffused the anger and bitterness that I was feeling. My feelings went from anger and bitterness to amazement at what came out of Sean's mouth (or keyboard). I forwarded the e-mail to Laurel that evening, and her reaction was that we had an incredible son. Needless to say, I ended up going home, we worked things out and I kept the analogy of Judas and Peter fresh in my mind.

The funny thing was that when I asked Sean about the e-mail later, his reaction was "I really have no idea what I wrote, it just came out." Maybe some modesty, but maybe not? It took less than a half hour for me to get to work and log on, and Sean composed this in that period of time. So does God talk to us, or through us? Did Sean come up with this on his own, or did he have some help? Obviously, there are no right answers to these questions, and we will never know for sure. I guess that is one of the beauties of the concept of faith. In your head, you will never know for sure, but in your heart ....

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

To My Graduate - Do As I Say, Not As I Do!

My daughter Kelly graduated from Kennesaw State University last week. She graduated in accounting (I tried my best to talk her out of it, but to no avail). The graduation ceremony was really nice, great pomp and circumstance, a bagpiper, great speeches, everything you would want from a graduation. I only teared up three or four times.

I have to first admit that I tried my best to imitate one of those Disney dad's before the ceremony. If you don't know what I mean, I'm talking about one of those dad's that is on his cell phone, or at a business meeting or whatever business affair, and shows up after his son's/daughter's baseball game or recital or whatever special event is over.

In my case, I was obsessed with everything going on at work, and focused on everything that needed to get done before the end of the year. I wasn't thrilled to go to the graduation, and I was committed to get back to work as soon as possible after the ceremony. Kelly asked a couple times about going out to dinner after the ceremony, and I brushed her off and told her that I had to get back to work. This "Disney Dad" attitude continued until the day of the graduation. Somehow, thankfully, something showed me what a jackass I was being, and I realized how important this was to her, and how important this was to me. This was a huge event, and it was cause for celebration and remembrance. So, I forgot about work. I enjoyed the graduation ceremony, I really listened to the commencement speech (and it was really good), I savored the moment. We took pictures afterward, we froze our butts off, and we got to spend some quality time together at dinner.

Which brings me to the speech, and the story above is a microcosm of what I have done wrong, and I don't want Kelly, or any of my children, or anyone else to do. The best life is a balanced life. You need to balance work with Faith, Family and Friendship. It will make you a better person, a happier person and a more well-rounded person. You will have choices throughout your life to work or spend time with your family, your friends or at church or in a church-related activity. There are definitely times, where work calls, and you have to answer. There are times though, where work calls, and you need to hang up and tell work to call back later.

I could tell countless stories to highlight this (unfortunately). I missed a friend's wedding because I was too busy at work. I missed countless children's activities. I blew off church to go to work. When our boys were born (twins making our third and fourth children), Laurel gave me the choice of working less or quitting playing golf. I quit golf. Ultimately, if you don't lead a balanced life, you can not, and will not, be nearly as effective as a person or an employee to your company. I don't want employees like me. People who know when to stop working, who lead a balanced life, bring a better attitude and demeanor to work. They are much happier, relaxed and energetic at work. They are fun to work with. I can tell you that I've heard this throughout my career from supervisors and managers I've had. As one partner in public accounting once told me, "there is enough work here that you could work seven days a week, 24 hours a day, and the work still wouldn't get done. You need to learn to just walk away at the end of a day satisfied with what you did and come back the next day to start on it again." The work will always be there. Some of the special moments won't be, once they're gone, they're gone forever.

So, enjoy your life. When you're at work, work hard, give your best to your company. When the work day is done, leave it behind, it will be there tomorrow. Spend time with your family and with your friends. Get involved in community activities or church activities. Travel and see other countries and other parts of the US. Set the computer aside at night. Turn the Blackberry off. Listen with all your heart. When you are with loved ones, be always present.

If you need any advice on how to do all of this, talk to Dave Carr, he is who I want to be when I grow up.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Apple Sometimes Falls Far From the Tree

I’ve posted two videos, one of Patrick singing Not a Day Goes By, and one of Sean singing Be My Escape. There are several reasons I wanted to post these videos. One, of course, is that I’m incredibly proud of them. I believe they are both very talented musically. They both sing, play guitar, play piano, and used to play the French Horn. I have absolutely no idea where this talent comes from, and it definitely doesn’t come from me. As Laurel notes, I’m lucky they let me sing in the pews at church, and to be honest, I can’t even clap along to a song. I’m also incredibly proud of them because they are willing to get up in front of people and do this. I have had to give many presentations and speeches in front of people, but I couldn’t imagine ever trying to perform in front of others. I think it takes a great deal of courage and love to do something like this.

Lastly, I wanted to post these as a tribute to their voice teacher Steve Burkholder. Actually Steve has also been their piano teacher, counselor, therapist, advisor, and I’m sure a multitude of other titles. I used to say that it takes a Church to Raise a Child. There is so much that children deal with these days, it takes more than parents to raise them. The Church provides so much help, and the schools help a great deal also, if you find the right school. Sometimes, however, you are able to find someone who comes into their lives that helps them become the person they have the capability of becoming. Steve has done that for Sean and Patrick. We are so thankful and blessed that he is a part of their lives.

Patrick McCullough - Not a Day Goes By



The videographer didn't do a great job, but Patrick did.

Sean McCullough - Be My Escape



I had to cut the last part of the song to allow it to fit, but you can still see what a great job Sean did.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Small Group



To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. Number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special. - excerpt from Jim Valvano's final speech at the Espy Awards.

Since the mid to late 90's, I've been a member of a "small group" at my former church in Dayton, Ohio. There have been 10 of us who have gotten together on Saturdays, evenings, mornings for breakfast, for retreats, for baseball games, for over 10 years. I've been the "spottiest" member, since I moved to Georgia in the late 90's and now again in 2006. Dave Carr recently moved away also, to North Carolina, so now the local group is down to eight. We are a mixed bag, a cross section of people, some politically liberal, some conservative, some middle of the road. Our religious views are probably similar, some liberal, some conservative, some middle of the road. Some are married, some divorced, some currently in relationships, some not. We are somewhat similar in age, I think I'm the youngest at 49, not even sure who the oldest is, it really doesn't matter. What brings us together is our love of God, our search for answers in life, our need and desire for fellowship and community, and our love and support of each other. With our diversity and differing views, we have some great discussions and debates, we often trail off into so many tangents we have no idea where we started, but in the end, we enjoy the time and fellowship together. We have done book reviews and discussions, but we typically can't stay on task. We did "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" to start, and we quit about halfway through. We did "Tuesday's with Morrie", and all of us liked it (except Jim Clay of course). We tried various others, but in the end, we would digress into whatever philosophical discussion surfaced that day.

Last weekend, Dave Carr planned a retreat to Lake Lure in North Carolina. We were able to get eight of us committed to go, which is amazing considering everyone's busy schedules. The last couple days before the trip, three had to back out due to illness, and some serious illness with loved ones (Sadly, Tom Wilson's mother died shortly thereafter). So, it was down to five of us. We all got there late afternoon or so on Friday, and had the opportunity to share. We shared so much. There may be some things we don't tell each other, but it really can't be much. We open up, we share our dreams, our hopes, our fears. We talked about our loves, our wives, our children, we talked about dying, we talked about our walk with God. We talked about politics, we talked about health care reform, we talked about jobs, church, church politics. We laughed, we cried, we thought a lot. We took a nice long walk in the mountain area, it was incredible there. We locked ourselves out of the cabin and tried everyway possible to find a way in. John Ey miraculously got a locked door open after three of us had tried the door, he will forever be immortalized for that. Nike Nihiser cooked us some great meals, and we ate at a local restaurant on Lake Lure.

When it came time to leave on Sunday, we hugged and had to move on and get back to our real lives. Even though we leave each other, we still correspond, we still talk, we still share. I'm still on a high from that weekend. That is probably one of the biggest things I miss in my life right now. I think it's hard for men to make friends to have someone to share with and talk to about their lives, their hopes, their fears. In a sense, I still have that since I can talk to my Small Group or e-mail with them, but you miss something having that regular discussion.

Like with anything else, you can mourn the loss of not having something you used to have, or cherish what you did have and what you can still make of it. The high I have from that weekend to me represents a celebration of what we had and still have. So few people, especially so few men, have a relationship like this. We laughed, we cried, we thought a lot. We will continue to do that, even if distance, time, commitments make it harder. That's what a Small Group is all about.



Friday, November 6, 2009

Interview with WIKA

As I noted in my previous post, I was with Barco for 13 1/2 years. Looking for a new job after all that time was a new experience for me. As I went through the process, I kept my family and close friends up to date on my progress. Here is the e-mail I sent after finally concluding my search and choosing WIKA. It was a funny process to go through. When I went on interviews I felt so strange thinking about going into a new building each day for work after being at Barco so long. WIKA was a place that I really felt at home, which meant so much for me. As a side note, you will all be happy to know that once Michael Jackson died, the boys have changed Laurel's text signature to Queen Latifa. In any event, the e-mail I sent after it was all said and done:

As many of you know, I was down to the final two candidates on two jobs, which were decided within the last week. Of course, I tried to do the math and figure that 50% on two would work out to be 100% on one! OK, I knew that wasn't the case. So I heard from the one, and as I suspected and knew deep down, they viewed me as being overqualified and determined it wouldn't work out. I was OK with that, although I wanted to have something in hand, even if it may not be the one job I wanted.

So it came down to the other job, which I interviewed for on Tuesday. As noted, I knew they were down to the final two candidates, and I really wanted this position. It was only 10 minutes from my house, but more because of the opportunity and the challenge it presented. I really felt like it was an ideal fit for me. I spent a lot of time prepping for the interview, and ensuring I would be as ready as possible. Tuesday morning I was getting pretty nervous because I really wanted to do well. But there were two factors that helped me be as calm as possible.

One was that the recruiter that I was working with gave me some phone tips on being as prepared and feeling as good as possible. He said shine your shoes, get a haircut, wear your lucky tie, do whatever makes you feel good about yourself and confident. I kept thinking, these are the types of things I always do, so no real help here. Then it dawned on me. I always carry a folder with me with the company information and any other information that I believe will be helpful in the interview. I took a picture I have of my four children and paper clipped it on the inside of the folder. I consider them my motivation, I need to do everything I can to take care of them. That was the inspiration I needed.

The other thing takes a bit of a story. As many of you know, my wife Laurel takes a great deal of abuse from all of us. At one point, the boys have changed her signature on her phone's text message to be from Michael Jackson. She doesn't know how to change it, so anytime you get a text from Laurel, it's signed Michael Jackson. Shortly before I left to go to the interview, I got a text message that said, "We're all praying for you, signed Michael Jackson". One, how could I possibly not succeed with everyone praying for me. Two, the Michael Jackson part just cracked me up. So I left for the interview and felt so relaxed and calm.

I spent 6 1/2 hours there, interviewed with various people, got a plant tour, and went to dinner with five people. I got peppered with questions, got to eat two bites of my steak, but it was worth it, I wanted to focus on the interview and handling all of their questions. After the interview, I was sky high. I really felt like I had put myself in the best position possible for an offer. I knew they were interviewing the other candidate on Wednesday, so I had to wait of course. Wednesday was hard, Thursday was awful. As some can attest to, I was incredibly crabby on Thursday, worrying about the outcome. Late on Thursday, I received the call that I had received the offer. I plan to tell Barco today that I will be leaving in three weeks. I start my new job on August 25th.

Last night, I brought Laurel some flowers and a card. As I told her, we did it, I couldn't have done it without her. She actually was a part of the interview process with the recruiter, they wanted to get her perspective on me and what I was like. Of course that's a small part of it, she is a huge part of everything that I am and that I do. I couldn't have ever done this without her.

And I couldn't have done it without all of you. Your prayers, your calls, your wishes, your help, everything you've done has been incredible. I know some of you are tired of hearing it, but I really do feel like George Bailey from "It's a Wonderful Life". I can't believe how many people have done so much to try to help me and be there for me. I am so thankful every day, and I am so happy that God has put so many great people in my life. I don't understand or know why I've been blessed with so much, but all I can do is thank all of you and thank God of course. Thank you, thank you all.

I'm very sad to be leaving Barco, I have been here 13 1/2 years, and I have loved it, especially the people I have grown with here. It's time though to embark on a new adventure. This may be the last e-mail for a while, I just wanted to give you closure at least on this chapter. A new chapter begins in a few weeks.

My Farewell from Barco

I spent 13 1/2 years at Barco, and I loved 11 or 12 of those years. I bled Barco red, I moved three times for Barco, uprooting my family and causing my daughters to hate me for many, many years. I don't blame Barco, I did it for love, I really enjoyed working there. When it came time to move on, it was hard, I hated to leave, but it was really time. The following was my farewell letter to my colleagues at Barco. I miss them deeply and only wish all the best for them.

“If I were to wish for anything I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of what can be, for the eye, which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating as possibility?”

Soren Kierkegaard

Dear all:

As I leave Barco, this is what strikes me as what Barco offers to us all. I have had so many instances over my career where I could talk enthusiastically about what Barco does, what it offers, what is the possibility. I remember a time when I was sitting on a plane, and the gentleman next to me asked what I do. I told him I work for Barco, and I told him about some of the unbelievable things that we do. Once I was done, he said, “wow, I sell pallets”. Do we all realize how many people in the world sell pallets while we are a part of such incredible ways of displaying possibility? I remember seeing how each layer of CMYK can bring the full colors of a tiger’s stripes to life at Barco Graphics, how three CRT’s can provide such amazing flight scenes, how stereoscopic imaging can help determine where to drill for oil.

I used to love it when recruits would ask what I liked about working at Barco. I would tell them that I loved working at Barco for a couple reasons. We did such incredible things. Our projectors were on the Space Shuttle Simulator, we were part of training some of the world’s greatest pilots, we were in some of the greatest aircraft, ships and other weapons in our military’s arsenal, we provided entertainment for the world, we educated children everywhere, we provided some of the greatest images in the medical community to diagnose and help cure.

I also told them that I never had a single day in Barco where I was bored. We were always doing something exciting. There was never a day that it wasn’t challenging. I used to tell people that Barco was like dog years. Each year was like seven years because you did so much, you learned so much, you experienced so much. So after 13 ½ years, I guess I’ve really worked over 90 years. Maybe that’s why I look so old.

I think back to when I started, I put so much into the perspective of my children and how they’ve grown with Barco. In the early years at Barco Graphics, I would take my daughters, Megan and Kelly, and my sons, Patrick and Sean, in on the weekends while I worked. I’d get caught up in what I was doing, and all of a sudden Patrick and Sean would show up in my office with handfuls of toys and stuff from people’s desks. I had to then go through the office and figure out where it all came from. They used to love going to the Kennesaw office and seeing the “candy lady”. The boys learned how to make electricity from a potato and a capacitor in Xenia from Masoud Ali. Once we introduced C-TPAT in Duluth, the boys didn’t get to come to Barco anymore (Carolyn, I think Patrick and Sean want to thank you). They used to ask me if they could work at Barco someday because it was so ingrained in our lives.

My daughters are grown up now, and my sons are almost there. Now, it’s time for me to grow up and move on. I’ve had the opportunity to work with so many incredible people at Barco. We have so many intelligent and innovative people within Barco. We also have some great entrepreneurs. One of my older colleagues, Hans Dekeyser, and I often discuss that it takes a special person to work at Barco, and there is an intensity and commitment that so many long term associates at Barco have. It takes a special breed to work at Barco, and take heart in knowing you are a special breed.

While we all would like to have some great legacy to live on after we leave, I saw something recently that I would love to be my legacy. It goes like this:

When he retired from the Supreme Court, Justice Thurgood Marshall was asked of what accomplishment he was most proud. He answered, simply, “That I did the best I could with what I had.”

In closing, I encourage you to remember the possibilities within Barco. Sometimes we lose sight of it, but Barco provides a wealth of possibilities for us all. And finally, for each of you, for everything you do:

Choose Your Attitude
“As you enter this place of work, please choose to make today a great day. Your colleagues, customers, team members, and you yourself will be thankful. Find ways to play. We can be serious about our work without being serious about ourselves. Stay focused in order to be present when your customers and team members most need you. And should you feel your energy lapsing, try this surefire remedy. Find someone who needs a helping hand, a word of support, or a good ear – and make their day.”

Thank you all for 13 ½ wonderful years. I’ll miss you all.

Journey of Faith

Aw, the ironies of life. I wrote the attached Journey of Faith after we had moved back to Dayton from Georgia. Now we're back in Georgia. Again, no offense, we enjoy it here, and we enjoy our new church, but we love Dayton, and we love Westminster. While my Statement of Faith hasn't really changed, I guess in a sense, my Journey of Faith has. It's complete up to a certain point, but I'll need to continue the journey at some point. At the bottom, I note four snapshots, four forks, four choices. There are more snapshots, more forks, more choices, but for now,

JOURNEY OF FAITH

PROLOGUE

For those of you who were here for my Statement of Faith, I like prologues. When I have mentally prepared my Journey of Faith, I often begin at an early college age as this was when I came back to church as you will hear about shortly. The more and more I thought about it, however, I realized that this wasn’t a fair assessment. While I quit going to church for 4-5 years, mainly during high school, part of what brought me back was that foundation that was built early on. I think where it really struck me was when we had all of those discussions on Whole Community Worship. I thought back to those early years when I learned The Lords Prayer, Apostles Creed, the Beatitudes, various Psalms. I remembered those times in Sunday School and in church and realized, this was the foundation that my faith was built on. While I left the church for a while, this was a major reason that I came back. And it’s probably helped me a lot throughout the years as my journey has not always been the smoothest. That being said,

MY JOURNEY OF FAITH
There are so many moments or periods of time in everyone’s life that shapes who they are. As I searched and thought about what has shaped my life and my journey of faith, I came across four “snapshots” from my life that were those forks in the road that Jim Clay so eloquently talked about last month. I believe that thanks to taking the right road when faced with each of these forks has made all of the difference in my life.

Alcohol, drugs and rock and roll. In many ways, that sums up my high school years. That’s probably the biggest reason that I am scared to death for my children to hit this stage of life. There are so many times that I should have been dead or seriously hurt, but for the most part, I escaped anything too serious. Do you know what it’s like to wake up in bed and have absolutely no idea how you got there? I can assure you, it’s pretty scary. I often think about the story Sandy has told in one or two of his sermons where at the end the gentleman attributed a huge moment in his life to luck. I don’t think so.

As unlikely as my journey could begin, it began under the influence of a substance that is unimportant at the moment out with some friends playing pickup basketball. One of the guys playing was Don Dougherty. Don was one of the extremely cool guys of the time. He had long hair, was confidently quiet, was big, and was well-liked by the girls. He also had always been a partier. But Don had a new girl friend, from a different school, who went to church. So Don had quit partying and was going to church. Of course, we figured that this change in Don was all attributable to a female. They can often be bad influences on males. After playing basketball for a while, we were sitting around talking. Somehow, various questions were directed Don’s way. What was going on with him? He had changed so much. Much to our surprise, it wasn’t just a girl thing, he talked very seriously about Jesus Christ and how accepting Jesus had changed his life. I’m not quite sure why or how this hit me so much. Maybe it was because I was so lost at the time. Maybe it was because it was coming from Don. In any event, when I went home that evening, I told my mother I was going to go to church with her the next week. This made my mother ecstatic as she was always the one responsible for getting all of us to church, and my older brothers had quit going long ago. I was pretty much the last hope, and until now, a lost cause.

The next Sunday, I went to church. It was Westminster Presbyterian Church in Butler, Pa. The head pastor was Stuart Perrin and the associate pastor was his son, Daniel Perrin. These gentlemen were rock solid in their faith, I would come to discover later, and they really had a profound effect on me. The sermon that morning was “The Amazing Grace of God” and was geared around the writing of the song. I had returned to church at that point, and have never looked back since. But not to mislead anyone, it wasn’t a solid upward line from that point headed in the direction of the kingdom of God. It was an extremely jagged line, with many ups, but also some downs along the way.

A difficult moment for me and all of our family came when my brother Bill committed suicide. There are probably not many days that go by where I don’t think about it. Last week, I was in Sandy’s office, and he mentioned Ann Hardwick. His comment was that there was absolutely no clue that she was going to commit suicide. In my brother’s case, we all knew. He had pretty much pre-ordained this for himself at an early age. He had a fascination with suicide, finding it to be a heroic means to an end. Do you know what it’s like to helplessly watch and know someone you love is going to do something like this, but have absolutely no idea of how to stop it, change the course of life? We all sat by, knowing it was inevitable, but having no idea how to stop it. While this has been one of the most painful, if not the most painful, episodes in my life, it has made me stronger in my faith and my desire to live and to cherish life. In many ways, I probably suffer in the same respects that my brother did, but as I sorted through his death and my own faith journey, I realized that this was not the answer. I had been given a life, a wonderful life, and I had to fight to always remember that.

Probably the biggest downward curve was when Laurel and I experienced some marital difficulties several years ago. I had come to the conclusion that our marriage was not fulfilling. We went through marriage counseling, but ultimately, I chose to leave. I piled all of my clothes and belongings in our van, and set out looking for a new life. I ended up staying at friends’ homes, moving from place to place, being a vagabond of sorts. I slept on pull-out sofas, on floors, in guest bedrooms. I remembering waking up at one friend’s home and trying to figure out where I was, I had moved around so much. I also remember looking in the mirror the one morning and really not recognizing who was looking back at me. I stared and stared and really couldn’t recognize who was looking back. It was the strangest feeling.

This all happened during the midst of the end of the Lowry era here. At that point, I had no one to turn to at the church. I was out there on my own. And I was lost. Probably the only thing that saved me, or us, was the time I had to think and to try to figure out what was important in our lives. I remember sitting in the basement of one of my friend’s homes listening over and over again to “Hymns to the Silence” by Van Morrison. I remember driving from Cincinnati everyday for a while from one friend’s home, thinking and thinking about what was happening. I remember sitting in my apartment, with no furniture, except for a bed, trying to figure out where my life was headed. Ultimately, I went back. I learned a lot during this time. I learned that my wife was a lot stronger than I was. I learned that while Laurel could forgive me, I really couldn’t forgive myself. I learned that I really needed my church family, but unfortunately my church family was going through a troubling time also, and really couldn’t help me.

Eventually, that changed too. As our family and I changed and grew, Westminster grew along with it. A few years ago, we had the choice to leave Dayton and go to Georgia or stay here. Ultimately we decided to leave. I remember right after making that decision, Tom Preisser approaching me in the Narthex and saying what a wonderful church this was to raise your children in and how important that was these days. He didn’t know we were leaving, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him. We left and joined a large and active church in Marietta, Ga. I still remember when we asked the kids if they wanted to join First Church, Kelly saying, “I want to go to Westminster”. I said that I did too, but that wasn’t an option. I still remember sitting in church and feeling guilty, like I shouldn’t be there. It never felt like home.

Once when I was traveling to Dayton from Georgia, I came to a service here, which I believe was Kay’s ordination service. It was a special day in the life of the church, and the pastoral staff was at full strength after many years of interims. While I was happy for all of you, I was saddened by the fact that we would not be a part of a very exciting future. When the opportunity arose to come back to Dayton, we said yes. Probably one of the biggest reasons was this church. The one factor that we had failed to put enough weight on in our move was how important our church family had become to us. When people would ask us why we preferred Dayton, do you have family there? We’d answer no, but then, really we did. We had grown as a couple in this church, our children were born and baptized here, had grown up here. We had been through the difficult times, and we had experienced the good times. This was our home. We couldn’t wait to get back here. And for each special service we were able to experience again, Maundy Thursday, Easter Sunday, Heritage Sunday, Youth Sunday or those special moments like the kick-off of a new Christian Education year, we rejoice.

Four snapshots, four roads, four forks, four choices. God, life, family, church. With a great deal of help from God, I think I have made the right decisions, and that has made all the difference in the world.

My Statement of Faith

Several years ago, I wrote my Statement of Faith when I was an Elder at my favorite church, Westminster Presbyterian Church in Dayton, Ohio. No offense to any other churches, but this was where I "grew up" in my faith, had most of my formative years in my marriage to my wife Laurel, and where my children were all raised and baptized. I re-read it recently, and it still holds true. While I may have grown in many ways, my Statement of Faith still holds pretty true. So, here it is:

STATEMENT OF FAITH

PROLOGUE

This is an extremely difficult exercise for me. While I realize it is also for all of you, I think I find it so difficult because I take such a simplistic view to life. I am definitely not what people would call “a deep thinker”, and I usually take the approach of one of my favorite philosophers who said, “I y’am what I y’am, and that’s all I y’am”.

I also still have I guess somewhat of a childlike exuberance when it comes to religion. There are many times I have moments where I just want to say “Wow!”, particularly when something really hits me during the Worship Service, but fortunately I do have some sense of decorum, and I keep those comments inside of me. I don’t feel that I’m very far on my religious journey as some of you are, but I’ve come to accept that, and realize that the journey is the thing, not the destination. My time will come, I just have to have patience. I have to admit though that patience is a virtue that I do not possess, which anyone in my family can attest to. Laurel would probably change the adverb above to childish rather than childlike. But I digress.

I am thankful for some of the resources I had to prepare this and must give credit. The fantastic sermons that I stuff into my planner that I pull out on plane trips that I call “The Best of Westminster Church.” I have about 6 or 8 that I have read over and over again and periodically add to my collection. If any of the ministers note some plagiarism tonight, remember that imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Tom Long’s sermon on Kindness that I listen to in the car when I need a boost., thanks to John Ey. And the words of wisdom that come from my small group, both over the course of time and over the past few weeks when I’d make those panicked phone calls asking for ideas on my statement of faith. If I can stick a plug in here and use one of my favorite slogans from my favorite sport, “Small Group Fever, Catch It!”.

I had considered taking the easy way out and just saying, “I believe”, but that wouldn’t be fair to any of you and it wouldn’t be fair to me. I’ve also never been one to take the easy road, which my boss continually reminds me of and which drives him crazy. So without any further ado,

MY STATEMENT OF FAITH

I believe that each of us is a child of God created in the image of God and embraced by the mercy of God through Jesus Christ.

I believe that while there are many instances in our world where it may not seem like God can possibly be present, God is somehow present, offering faith, courage, and hope.

I believe that The Golden Rule may be very simplistic, but it is probably one of, if not the most, effective way of dealing with people.

I believe that imagination is one of the greatest gifts that God has given us, and it gives us the ability to have hope. To steal from one of the sermons mentioned above, “hope is faith pointed toward the future”, which gives us the ability to see each other and the world as it will be in the Kingdom of God.

I believe that passion is the greatest gift that God has given us, but in many instances, our passion can be misplaced. I believe that the greatest people who have walked on this earth have had a passion for following God, righting wrongs, curing injustice, and usually all of the above.

I believe in miracles and I believe that there is a certain magic in the world and that magic comes from God through miracles.

I believe that what my daughter Megan once said to me at a very early age, that the world is really a beautiful place is true. Unfortunately, in too many instances, rather than “stopping to smell the roses”, I have trampled them on the way to my destination. While I still haven’t stopped to smell the roses yet, I have at least started to notice them.

I believe that there are many times in our lives when God speaks to us, but we are usually too busy to hear. In some instances, at least in my case, God gives me a swift kick in the head when the message is important enough.

I believe that I have been given an enormous number of gifts from God, and for the life of me, I have no idea why. I also believe that there are many people who have not, and it bothers me a lot that I’ve been given so much and others have been given so little. This one I still struggle with tremendously, and I have no quick and easy answers other than to say I need to share the gifts I’ve been given as much as I can.

I believe that the essence of true contentment comes from the line in “Be Thou My Vision” that says, “Riches I need not, nor man’s empty praise, Thou my inheritance through all of my days”. I wish I could say I was there, but I’m not. As I noted, it’s the journey that counts. I’m still a work in progress.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

How Did This All Start?

I have this good friend, Dave Carr, that has his own blog, which I follow. OK, he's more than a good friend, he is who I want to be when I grow up. I'm not the only one, there are several of us who want to be Dave when we grow up. Dave has followed his dreams, he is doing the job he wants to do, he gets up early and reads and meditates, he thinks, he contemplates, he doesn't rush through life like the rest of us, or many of us.



A few months ago, I expressed my desire to write and my writing background to Lisa Dugan, who is my Vistage chair (that would probably take much too long to explain), but she is a person whose opinion I value immensely. She suggested I start a blog. Well, like most things, I didn't. I really intended to, but I really didn't believe anyone would want to read what I had to say, which may still be the case.



Today at church, we had three lay leaders deliver the sermon. It was really good, as these three people poured out some great messages about their lives and what God has meant and done for them. I thought how much I would like to do something like this. I've done "Minutes for Mission" before and other speaking engagements, but never something as involved as this. I thought how much I'd love to share my experiences, my journey, my life with God, my family, etc.



There is one major problem. I'm a crier. I hate to admit it, but when I hit those emotional moments, I have the hardest time not crying. I cry at weddings, I cry at funerals. I cry at Field of Dreams, but really, what guy doesn't? When I have to deliver a really emotional message, I essentially have two choices. I "stone" my emotions, so I come across like a robot, or I cry. Neither is effective. So, maybe this is my best solution. If I can't deal with the emotions effectively in a public setting, maybe I can do it behind the keyboard.



So there it is. A combination of inspiration from various sources has led me to this. If you are expecting anything earth-shattering, you may be severely disappointed. Check out Dave Carr's blog if you want that. I hope that once in a while you will laugh, once in a while you will cry, but most of all, I hope that you will see why I believe that it wasn't George Bailey who is the luckiest man alive, but it is me.