As I come to the end, quite honestly, parting is such sweet sorrow. After 18 years, 187 blog posts, I’m shutting down my blog, and it’s harder than I thought since it’s been such a huge part of my life these past 18 years.
Why am I shutting it down? For one, everything has a beginning and an end, that’s just the way life is. I think my blog has run its course. Plus, my daughter Kelly just signed me up for Storyworth, and each week I get a new question to write about that my children can read. If you’re not familiar with it, I’ve had questions like, “what were your weekend traditions when you were a kid”, “what talents did you always wish you had”, “what is the best job you’ve ever had” and so on. This will go on weekly for a year, and I’ve loved it, it’s given me a creative outlet that my blog post always provided, but this has been fun because I get to relive my life through it. Plus, I’m working on a children’s book, and hope to get it published within the next year, so that has taken some of my creative energy.
Before I say anything else, I really need to thank a dear friend, Dave Carr, who introduced me to this journey of writing a blog. Without his inspiration, this would have never happened.
As a brief recap, what has happened over the last 18 years that I’ve written about? A lot! In no particular order, OK, maybe some of the most important ones first:
· Megan, Kelly, Patrick and Sean all got married. Those are by far, the highlights. Other than your own wedding, I can’t imagine a better event than the wedding of your child. None of these disappointed.
· We’ve had several graduations, high schools, colleges and graduate schools. Each one of them was a special event.
· We’ve had various deaths and funerals, my Dad, Laurel’s Mom, Laurel’s brother Mike and my nephew Michael, just to name a few. I also have to mention Snickers and Minnie, they were our first two dogs, and as many know, losing a pet can be painful. While death may be a part of life, it’s still never easy to say goodbye.
· I found yoga, I’ve been doing yoga for nine years now, and it’s been amazing. And, I took Yoga Teacher Training about four years ago with a group of incredible young ladies and have my RYT-200 certification. This whole experience has transformed my life.
· I’ve discovered meditation, and maybe not in the traditional way, my meditation is while doing planks and boat poses each morning to Contemporary Christian music, but it’s still meditation.
· I came to grips with my journey with depression. This is a life-long journey, and essentially, there is no cure. There are coping mechanisms, ways to combat it, but this will be with me the rest of my life.
· I’ve discovered some wonderful authors, who have changed my life. Rolf Gates, Stephen Cope, Jack Kornfield, Thich Nhat Hanh, Pema Chodron, Brene Brown, Elizabeth Gilbert, Nadia Bolz-Weber, Naomi Levy, and Glennon Doyle, to name a few. I read every morning, and it has made a deep impact on me.
· I left the church after spending a lifetime in the church. I just do not believe the American church has much to do with Jesus and his teachings anymore.
· I left the corporate world, and went into teaching full-time. I have no complaints when it comes to my career, I had an incredible journey, and I cherish it.
· I left the Republican party after 36 years, and although I could never be a Democrat, I probably will never vote for another Republican. I find the current version of the Republican party to be hate-filled and racist.
· I quit watching sports. After growing up, living sports, any and all of them, I don’t watch sports anymore. I struggle with the amount of money we pour into professional and college sports when we aren’t willing to provide adequate housing, food or health care for the least of us. Quite frankly, I find this appalling.
· I spent many years in a Small Group with some dear friends from my church in Dayton, Westminster Presbyterian Church. I eventually left my Small Group, which was a hard choice to make, but as noted above, for me, everything has a beginning and an end, and it was time for me. I still love and respect each member of the group, and have very fond memories of our time together.
· I found my breath. It took me close to 60 years, but I finally learned to breathe. This was a major change in my life.
· I fell madly in love with Laurel. OK, I had always loved her, but I fell madly in love with her. I could come up with so many corny things to say here, but I’ll leave it at, I look forward to every single day with her, and I could do anything, or nothing, with her, and I’d be happy.
Those are the highlights for 18 years, but I went back and picked out some of the most meaningful messages I shared over that period of time, and I wanted to highlight them one more time before I say goodbye. Many of these were essentially messages to myself, but I shared them to hopefully see some of you learn much more quickly than me. Unfortunately, I can be a really slow learner, and I missed a lot along the way.
I’ll keep this as brief as possible:
This one speaks for itself, many times we focus on where we want to be, and lose sight of all of the great experiences along the way. I missed a lot while I was focused on whatever destination I was trying to reach. Thankfully, I don’t now. I pay attention on the journey to see what’s happening in the present moment.
I use this one a lot with my students, but it goes for all of us. We spend so much time staring at our phones, worrying about what is going on in our lives, we miss a lot. There is a beautiful world around us, and we are missing it. I always tell my students, you will never see me with my phone out going across campus. I want to see the cypress tree, the birds, the squirrels, the rabbits, but I especially want to see you.
Mostly I use this for my students, but I still use it for myself. We have one life, what are we going to do with this precious life we’ve been given?
There are various messages similar to this one, but I love this one because it’s Toni Morrison, my favorite author, and a beautiful seagull, sailing over the ocean. We can let the current take us, we can surrender to the wind, but fighting against it, as I’ve done most of my life, doesn’t really get us anywhere. Surrender, ride the wind. It’s so much easier, and really, you still get to the same place.
It may sound stupid on my part, but the whole message from Brene Brown was huge for me. Belonging versus fitting in. Fitting in is pretending to be someone you aren’t. Belonging is finding where you feel comfortable. We have to be ourselves to thrive and enjoy life. I missed that one for too long.
Jimmy Buffett wrote this after Hurricane Katrina. While none of the disasters I’ve experienced are anywhere near Hurricane Katrina, I’ve found, after many years, that the best solution is to basically do what it says. Breathe in, breathe out, move on.
Along those same lines, I wish I could truly say how meaningful it’s been for me to find my breath. It’s been about 3-5 years since I finally did, but it’s changed my life.
I used this one when I got criticized for being too open and honest about my journey with depression. I believe that there are many people on this journey, and it’s important to let others know they aren’t alone.
I had the privilege of meeting Pastor Rudy when I was on the Board of Trustees at United Theological Seminary. I wish we lived this message in the church today.
I love this one because I do believe we can make a difference. Each of us can shine our light, we can smile, we can be kind, and the world can and will change.
Of course, I saved the best for last. As many know, Mr. Rogers is one of my heroes. When I grow up, I want to be him. What I’ve really come to love in this world is that it’s such a menagerie of people and personalities. Sometimes we think, I wish everyone was like… me, or someone I really like or respect. But how boring would that be? I love that we are all so different and bring so much diversity to the world.
Thank you for being a part of the 18 years of my blog post. I appreciate you, and I like you just the way you are. Finally, I’ll steal from the final message I always say when I teach a yoga class:
“The light in me sees and honors the beautiful light in each and every one of you. I bow to you in gratitude”
