A Pirate Looks at 40 - Well, Okay, 50

This is a picture of Laurel and me with Kelly when she graduated from college last December. I don't like to post pictures of myself, as I've grown older, I have that Nancy Reagan head thing going, my head is way too big for my body. But, I digress.

I turned 50 this year. The funny thing is that those age milestones never really bothered me. Whether it was 30, 40, now 50, it really doesn't bother me. It's those kid milestones that are killing me. And 2009-2011 has been a killer for me. Kelly, my star for not causing me to feel old (more on that later), started it with graduating from college last December, our first college graduate. Then Megan got engaged this year. Then the boys started their senior year of high school. Next year, we have to look forward to Megan getting married, our first marriage. And the boys graduate from high school and head off to college. And Laurel and I are empty nesters. Bam! You're old Steve. Most of the time, you get it in small doses, but all of a sudden, it's several two by fours across the head. I guess the roller coaster is picking up speed, and I'm telling you, I'm hanging on for dear life.

As noted, most of the time you get hit with this in small doses. I remember putting Megan on the school bus for the first time. I remember walking her through the high school for the first time to show her where her classes were. Each time you hit those first milestones with your first child, it really ages you. I reminisced back to when Megan would be riding with me in the car, singing Pete Townshend's "After The Fire". It's incredible to hear a five year old singing, "I've got to stop drinking, I've got to stop thinking, I've got to stop smoking." Bam! You're old Steve.

Now we're hitting the "lasts". Every year we take a picture on the first day of school. It killed me to realize this was our last year after 20+ years of taking these pictures when we took Patrick and Sean's pictures this year. In a few months, it will be our last high school graduation. Then a few more months, and our last children at home. Yesterday, the boys were sitting in a laundry basket in front of the TV watching Barney. Tomorrow, they are headed off to college. Bam! You're old Steve.

So most of the time Kelly has spared me from this since she's the middle child and isn't a first or a last, she's always in the middle. Even Kelly didn't spare me, she was our first to graduate from college. Thanks Kelly. Yesterday, she was our "Little Angel From Heaven", running back to her crib to go to bed, today, she's a college graduate. Et tu, Kelly? Even you would do this to me? Bam! You're old Steve.

What the heck happened? How did they all grow up so quickly? Can someone please find the brakes for this roller coaster? I know most of us go through this, and some of us handle this better than others, but I have to be honest, I'm not handling this well. I'm doing my best to slow it all down, but it's funny, there isn't a whole lot you can do to slow down time. Megan will get married. Patrick and Sean will graduate and go off to college. Kelly will move out, no matter how many times I tell her she's not allowed (I'm kidding Kelly). And we will be empty nesters. Bam!

OK, in my head, I know this is the way life is supposed to be. Children are a gift from God, and we only get so much time with them, they're not ours, they're His, and we have our time with them until they move on and lead their own lives. I can still share in their lives once they're grown, but it won't be the same as what we had when they were growing up. In my heart, it hurts. But even my heart tells me, this is the way it's supposed to be. We live, we love, and even though we we get older, and it's not the same, we still love, we will always love.

So, we have a few more months. It's amazing at this point in your life how much you can enjoy a bedroom with clothes all over the floor, a sink full of dirty dishes, a laundry basket full of barely worn clothes, singing and guitar music at 11 o'clock at night and unexpected kids coming to your house around dinner time. There's plenty of time for a clean and quiet house. Plenty of time.

Because They Loved Us

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them - Bishop Desmond Tutu"

Last week, I was out of town, and I had an incredibly vivid dream. I was at a family reunion, and all of my cousins were there. I guess I have Facebook to thank for that. I'm not a huge fan of Facebook, but I still keep active on it because I can stay up to date on what my cousins are doing. Since I see so much about their lives, I guess they were in my subconscious, hence the dream with all of them in it.

We did have a real family reunion this summer. We hadn't had one in about seven years or so. We get together at my cousin Marlene's house in Columbus, Ohio, she has a nice, big backyard, and it's a great place for us to all get together. We had relatives from Ohio, Pennsylvania, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, California, New Jersey and Colorado there. I'm sure I missed a state or two, but we came together, simply because of the love of my Mother and her sisters and brother, and our love for each other.

My Mother and her siblings grew up in an orphanage many years ago after their parents died when they were young. I don't know the stories nearly as well as some of my older cousins, but I do know that my Aunt Bessie did not live in "the home" like the rest, because she was older. But she would go and pick up the boys at one home and the girls at another home each Sunday to get them together for a picnic. They always had a special bond growing up because of what they went through.

That carried forward through their lives and through our lives. I remember visiting my cousins quite a bit growing up and going to stay with them at various times when I was growing up. I always had a special bond with my cousins, and while we are an eclectic group of personalities, I still have such a special feeling for all of them, they were such a huge part of my life. While distance and the years have caused us to grow apart, for that one day, it was like old times, but maybe with a little more gray hair, or in some of our cases, a little less hair. I know it sounds crazy, but that dream the other night took me back once again to that special time last summer when we spent the day together. The really fun thing about the day was watching my Mother and her sisters and brother, just sitting together, enjoying each other's company. They ended up closing the party down, not wanting the day to end.

But the party did end, and again, we went our separate ways. I find it hard to believe I'm saying this, but thank God for Facebook. I love seeing the posts from all of my cousins, what's going on in their lives, what's important to them, what their children are doing, what makes them happy and what makes them sad. And periodically, I can dream and see them all again. It may seem crazy, but that's OK, I can live with that. They are a a gift to me, and I have my Mom and my aunts and uncles to thank for that.

Wisdom of Our Fathers

For Father's Day last year I bought my Father "Wisdom of Our Fathers" by the late Tim Russert. It has a picture in it of a good friend of mine, Dave Carr, with his father, so I told Dave about buying it. Dave asked if I had written my own "chapter" for my Dad, which I hadn't. Of course, Dave never has a bad idea, so I've been planning to write my own chapter for a while, so here goes.

Wisdom of My Father

Like so many of us, I have a great deal that I owe my Father in who I am and who I turned out to be. Some of the major things he taught me:

Honor Your Mother - I remember one Mother's Day when I was in high school, and I was having trouble with a girlfriend. We were supposed to take my Mother out for Mother's Day dinner, but I didn't want to go, I wanted to go over to my girlfriend's house to work out the problem. I knew my Dad would understand if I passed on taking Mom out to dinner. So I went into the bathroom where he was shaving, getting ready for the night, and asked him, "Dad, is it OK if I don't go tonight?" He turned and looked at me with a very clear and steady look, and simply said, "No." I knew that there would be no more discussion, no negotiation. Message heard loud and clear.

Love Your Children - My Father never claimed credit for this, but he had a saying or way of looking at things when you were down about money or your situation in life. He'd ask me, "Would you trade any of your children for a million dollars?". Well, of course not. He'd say, "You have four children, so I guess you have at least $4 million." Maybe very simplistic, but an easy way to keep focused on what's most important.

Value Everyone No Matter What They Do - Probably one of the greatest work lessons I've ever learned, and it's served me well, is to value everyone in the workforce. I remember him telling me, "Even if someone pushes a broom, if they work hard, you value them for what they do." One of the quickest ways someone would incur my wrath at work was if they would tell me they were "just a peon". I tend to be very easy going at work, but no matter what else was going on or what needed to be done, if someone ever said that to me, they would get a meeting and discussion on how valuable they were or are to the organization. Everyone, no matter what their position, contributes to the success of a company. Thanks to my Dad for first teaching me this lesson.

Hard Work Is Important - My Dad quit high school in the 9th grade and became a truck driver. He eventually worked his way up to being a manager of a truck terminal. At one point, he went 17 years or so without a single day off, no sick day, no vacation, no nothing. I learned this lesson a little too well, and this probably wasn't the best lesson he ever taught me. Thankfully, I was never quite that bad, and I have improved over time. I have learned that there are times to work hard, and there are times to play. I still struggle with the play, but old habits or teachings die hard.

It's OK to Cry - I will never forget when my Grandfather died. He was the first person that died that was close to me. I remember getting ready in the morning the day after he died, and I heard this strange sound coming from my parent's bedroom. I went in, and it was my Dad crying. I had never heard him cry in my life. It was a strange, surreal experience, but I knew it was OK, and I knew how much my Dad loved his Father.

Did I learn more than just this? You bet. When I got out of college I learned how smart my Dad was. When I had to buy a car, buy a house, start my family, I found out my Dad was much smarter than me, imagine that. But those are the normal things that all of us go through as we grow up. My Dad taught me so much about how to do the important things in life, but more importantly, he taught me about the important things in life. That has made all the difference.

Our 2010 Christmas card

"Suffering is not without purpose, grief is not without hope"


We had an incredible year in 2010, and we thank God for that. We also thank God for some of the pain and suffering that we experienced in previous years that led us to our wonderful 2010. There are times that we have no idea why we have to experience the troubles that we go through, but in so many cases, it all becomes clear once we let God's plan unfold. The problem we have is that we want God's plan to unfold on our time, not His time. In our case, if it weren't for some of the difficulties we experienced over the years, the boys would have never ended up at Hebron Christian Academy, I would have never ended up at WIKA, and we would have never ended up at Lawrenceville United Methodist Church. What a difference this has all made!

This is the first time I've ever done something like this, so please forgive me if my style is not the best. I was a journalism major in college (OK, now I'm a Chief Financial Officer, go figure), so this is going to be very much sticking with the facts, and not much fluff, but that's just me. As some of you know, I've been forced to go this route because Cardstore.com failed to deliver our Christmas cards this year. Without further adieu, here is our year in review:

Our Trips

College Visits - I think based on our last count, we went to see 17 colleges in five different states. Our biggest trip was to Pennsylvania and Ohio, where we went to see nine schools over Spring Break. We also went to see opening day for the Pirates at PNC Park. It was hectic, fun and incredible seeing so many great schools.

Two family reunions - We had two family reunions this summer, one on my side of the family and one on Laurel's side of the family, both in Ohio. It was great seeing all of my cousins and their families, I just love my cousins, they are an incredible group of people (separate blog post coming soon on this). For Laurel's reunion, we went to Lake Atwood, a lake resort that her family used to go to every year when she was younger. Laurel got a chance to go to her sister Kathy's grave and put some flowers on her grave, and we got to spend time with her brothers and nieces and nephews.

While our trips were nothing fancy, a week for the college visits, weekends for the reunions, lots of driving, they provided some of the best times I've had in years. There is something about being around family that can make anything special.

Laurel and Me

We hit 50 this year! As promised, a separate blog will also be coming on this. Fifty came and went without much fanfare. We're not nearly as exciting as the kids, so this part of the post will be brief.

WIKA acquired a company in California this year, so I spent a great deal of time traveling to Anaheim this year. It sounds much more exciting than it is. In 2009, we had a tough year financially at WIKA, so everyone took a 7.5% pay cut. We had our pay rates restored this year, which was nice, but then something incredible happened. At the end of the year, WIKA paid back all the money that we sacrificed in 2009. In this day and age of corporate greed, it's incredible that we were all rewarded for our sacrifice and hard work, and that we work for a company that values its employees so much. I also started teaching this year at Georgia Gwinnett College, fulfilling a lifelong ambition to teach in college. It's only one course, but it is so fulfilling.

Laurel has spent a great deal of time, volunteering her time to various efforts. She spent time, along with some other ladies from our church, helping a young, single mother, trying to get her life together. It ended up being a difficult and stressful several months as she learned how difficult it can be to help someone turn their life around. Ultimately, she learned, as one of the books she found says in its title, "When Helping Hurts". She has found working at the Lawrenceville Co-op or for the school has great rewards without some of the stress of trying to help one individual. She has not lost sight of this young woman's need or her compassion for her struggles, but she's learned that the problem and solution is bigger than her.

Our Children

I heard a quote last night in Church about which child do you love the most. The answer is the one that needs you the most at the time. Chronologically, here are some highlights of their year:

Megan

Megan got engaged this year to Thomas McDonald, or T-Unit as we call him. They've been dating for a long time, six years or so. They live in Chicago, so we don't get to see them much, but we had the pleasure of seeing them at one reunion, and they also came for a visit earlier this year. Megan also got moved to full time at Bank of America, which was a great blessing this year. Thomas also got a promotion this year at AT&T. She and Thomas get married next June in Chicago, so we are excitedly planning a wedding for 2011.

Kelly

Kelly graduated from Kennesaw State University last December (our first college graduate!). She took an internship with Rowland Mountain, a recruiting firm, right after college, and they hired her shortly thereafter. She then moved to another recruiting firm, TRC Staffing, later in the year. She has been dating Clayton Crowe for about 1 1/2 years or so. She's talked about moving out, but I told her she's not allowed since Laurel and I would be empty nesters once the boys go to college (OK, I'm kidding).

Patrick

Patrick was in two plays this year at Hebron. He was Juror Number 7 in "12" (Hebron's version of 12 Angry Men). He was Don Quixote in Man of La Mancha in November. It was an incredible performance. He also placed fourth in the state at the Literary Meet for solo singing. After all of our college visits, Patrick held firm to his decision that Grove City College in Pennsylvania was where he wanted to go. He applied for early decision, and after some agonizing days waiting for the mail to come, his acceptance letter finally came. So Patrick will be heading to Grove City in the fall, where he has been accepted into the music program.

Sean

Sean has been participating in worship leadership at Hebron, and he has also started participating in worship leadership at our Church. He has a great passion for music, and sings, plays guitar and keyboard. I am in awe when I see him standing up on stage, leading a group of kids in a worship service. Sean also plays on the Hebron soccer team, and Hebron had an incredible season in 2010. They finished 2010 with only two losses and went to the state playoffs. They lost in the second round, but it was such a fun year to watch. Sean ended up as Hebron's Scholar Athlete for Gwinnett County. Sean is still undecided on which college he will attend. He's whittled it down to Covenant College in Lookout Mountain, Georgia, or Cedarville University in Ohio. Then there is Wittenberg University in Ohio. There is still time for those decisions to be made.

What will 2011 bring? We have two graduations in May and then two weeks later a wedding, so more excitement. We may have more pain and sorrow, who knows. But we know that even if we do, it will all be a part of God's plan. And it's a good plan, and we may not know the reason for the pain and sorrow in our time, we will know the reason in His time.

I wish you all a wonderful holiday season, and I hope you find peace and joy in all that you do.

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

"Does anyone know where the love of God goes, when the waves turn the minutes to hours"

Our former pastor at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Dayton, Ohio, The Reverend Dr. George H. "Sandy" McConnel, did an incredible sermon once with this haunting line from Gordon Lightfoot's song as one of the key elements. The song recounts a real life situation where people died in the wreck of a ship, but Sandy carried it forward to all of our lives. When we are waiting to hear the results of tests at the hospital. When we are waiting to hear whether the layoff will impact us. When we are waiting for one of our children to arrive home safely when they are on the road in a storm. When we are waiting for ....


There are so many situations where we wait and wonder and worry what the outcome will be. Unfortunately many of us have been facing that this week. Jim Campbell, one of my colleagues, had a massive stroke on Saturday. I got the call Saturday morning, and all of a sudden, my life changed completely. But, hold on a second. The impact on my life pales in comparison to the impact on his wife Anita's life, and everyone intimately involved in Jim's life. I could be selfish, and I admit, sometimes this week I have been, but I'm not the one who has suffered the most in all of this. As we leave the hospital each day, my wife Laurel and I count our blessing and think what so many of us often think - there but for the grace of God, go I.


Starting Saturday morning, Laurel and I have been going to the hospital to see Jim. We've spent a great deal of time with Anita and the rest of the family. You stand there and watch. You wait. You try to figure out, is anything changing? Is he getting any better? Wait, what was that? Did he move his eyes? Did he move his head? What does this mean? The hours go by. The days go by. What has changed? What will change? Where is the love of God as each minute, each hour, each day passes?


I have no right to be bitter. Anita has a right to be bitter. Their son Jeff has a right to be bitter. I'm sure there are others in the immediate family that are bitter. But as much as I don't have a right to be, I'm still a little bitter. Jim and I started working together about a year ago. He and I are very different. Jim is very conservative, very quiet, very private. It took forever for me to find out much about him. I finally found out or figured out about Jeff from hearing Jim on the phone with Jeff. I'd hear Jim take a call, and I'd always hear, "Hey buddy..." I started figuring out that it was Jim with his son Jeff, and I have to say I really enjoyed hearing those conversations. I hope that someday, my sons have those same type of conversations with me. But otherwise, I really didn't know much or hear much about Jim and his personal life. That was OK though, because Jim was a very solid, very capable performer. He was reliable, always got his job done, was very bright and efficient, I really couldn't ask much more from someone working for me. I had to periodically make sure I told him what a good job he was doing, because he was so "low maintenance". He took such little management or supervision, it was easy to forget to say, "hey, you're doing a good job Jim".


Over time, I got to know or figure out Jim a bit. The picture above is a photo shop picture his step-daughter Britney did for him. To say Jim is slightly more conservative than Ronald Reagan or George Bush may be an understatement. He and one of our colleagues, Cameron Reebals, could get going on a conservative rant, and it would be like a tornado of conservative propaganda would be swirling in the office. I'd love to get them going and I'd often say that Jim may burst into flames one of these days as he sat with his headphones on listening to one of the conservative talk show hosts on the radio. While Jim and I were different in many ways, I grew to appreciate him and enjoy his idiosyncrasies (OK who among us don't have some?). I knew that if I walked into his office, I'd hear about the Cap and Trade Bill, Healthcare Reform or whatever other evil the Democrats were bringing on the country. I'd just smile and nod and listen.

Over the past several days, I've learned so much more about Jim from Anita and the rest of the family. It has been an incredible experience getting to know all of them and learning so much about all of them and about Jim. Is this the positive out of all of this? I keep trying to figure out why this had to happen, what is God's plan for all of this? We stand and we wait. We talk, we laugh, we tell stories. We look over at Jim and wonder, where is the love of God? It has to be here, it has to be. I'm angry, I'm bitter. I still know, I have no right to be, but I don't care, I am. I feel guilty anytime I feel this way, because I see what this is doing to his family, and know I have no real right to feel this way, but it's hard not to feel this anger, this bitterness.

In the end, as Sandy so eloquently preached, God is always there, he is always with us. No matter what the situation, no matter what the tragedy, God is there, and he is suffering right along with us. So we wait. The minutes turn to hours turn to days. We wait for something, anything. And to steal yet again from one of Sandy's outstanding sermons, we hold out hope. Hope that is "faith pointed towards the future". Hope that is a "confident expectancy in a faithful and loving God". Hope that is "the expectation of a favorable future under God's direction". Hope that is "a rose in winter". We hold out hope for whatever potential positive God holds for us in the midst of this tragedy. We wait.

Thanks God - There are Three Parts to All of This?

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dr. Chappell has been doing sermons on the Book of Job at church the last few weeks, which has been incredible. Until today. Oh, the sermon was incredible, as I've told Dr. Chappell he pitches a shutout every week (I love baseball analogies), I have no idea how he does it, but this was a two-hit shutout with 13 strikeouts. The sermon was incredible and had me in tears several times. Today for me, the pain of the sermon series came in, which of course, will bear explanation.

For those who don't know, Job suffered a great deal of pain and loss in his life. Whatever possible could be taken away from Job or whatever pain and suffering that could be inflicted on Job, it took place. His friends had a great deal of advice for Job, all of it wrong, and they provided many reasons why Job was suffering, mainly due to his having sinned against God or offending God in some way. Eventually, God rewarded Job for his faithfulness, and Job received many great blessings from God. If the story stopped there, I would have felt a whole lot better. The theme of the sermon today was on God calling Job to pray for the forgiveness of his friends who had given Job poor counsel throughout his pain and suffering. Of course, Job eventually does this.

The sermon's central theme was forgiveness. Until we eventually release our hearts to forgive those who have committed wrongs against us, we can never be whole. We can never truly love, never truly follow a life of discipleship, if we can't forgive. As Hamlet would say, "ay, there's the rub."

I would never be so audacious to compare myself to Job or what we have gone through to the suffering that Job experienced. The last two years or so have been incredibly painful for many reasons, both from a work perspective and in our personal lives. Throughout the hardship we experienced, we maintained our faith and belief that while God wasn't always visible in what was happening, God was always there supporting us through our pain.

A new year has brought a great deal of gifts from God. The economy has improved, and our business has grown at WIKA. The boys have been having a great time at their new school, and they are doing some incredible things. Kelly found a job in a very difficult economy. Megan just got engaged to a really great guy. Laurel and I attended a marriage class at church, and it has made our communication and marriage even better. There have been so many times lately that I have that mixed emotion of being so thankful, but feeling so guilty that we have been so blessed with so much. This weekend was kind of the culmination of the showering of gifts from God. Sean's soccer team won twice to go to 9-0-1, but what is so much more important about it is that Sean is having a great time and enjoying playing with his new team, his new teammates and his coaches. Patrick went to the state competition for solo singing and placed fourth with an incredible performance. Then we got the call that Megan got engaged.

So, as noted above, there are three parts to all of this? Through the pain and suffering we experienced, there were some people who played a part in causing that pain and suffering either directly or indirectly. We have struggled to find it in our hearts to forgive the people who caused our family so much turmoil the last couple of years. While I know in my heart that I really understood the point that I had to forgive those people before I heard it in the sermon today, the reality is that the sermon hammered that point home. I am failing right now because I can't forgive these people. I wish I could say that the sermon pushed me over the edge, and miraculously I have found it in my heart to forgive these people, but I still can't. That is why today was so painful for me. I am incomplete right now, and I know I have to change. As Dr. King says above, "he who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love."

For those of you who do read my blog, I need your help. I need you to pray for me, that I can find the power to forgive. I also need you to pray for me that I don't beat myself up too much. As I sat there today and the grim realization hit me that I had not finished the process that Job went through, that I hadn't done the important step of forgiving others, it really tore me apart. Let me find it in my heart to forgive those who have wronged our family, and let me find it in my heart to forgive myself for having such a hard time doing this.

The Passing of a Classmate

I saw a post on Facebook about one of my classmates, Denny Kelly, passing due to cancer. As we all get older, and there is no doubt, I am getting older, this will be happening more and more, it is the reality of life. I saw that they were having a tribute to Denny yesterday in Slippery Rock, PA, where I grew up, and distance wouldn't have allowed me to attend, I have my own tribute to Denny, and a very valuable lesson I shared with my sons.

Back in high school or maybe right after high school, one of our classmates had a party at his house, his parents were out of town. As much as I hate to admit it (especially for my kids to read), I'm certain we were drinking and doing various other things we shouldn't have been doing. At one point, one of our classmates arrived, and he wasn't welcome by the host. Our host took a paper plate full of shaving cream, and shoved it in the young man's face, and told him to leave. At first, the guy thought it was a joke, and even starting licking the shaving cream off his face, thinking it was whipped cream, but then shortly realized, it wasn't a joke. He got a really hurt look on his face, and slowly walked away from the party and left.

All of us at the party laughed as the whole scenario transpired. Some laughed because they truly thought it was funny. Some, probably most, were like me. We laughed that uncomfortable laugh when something is happening that really we don't agree with, but we are too scared or don't have the guts to stand up for what is right or against what is wrong. We all laughed except for Denny. Denny was the only person who got really angry and stood up for something that was really wrong. He confronted the host and told him what he did was wrong, and he shouldn't have done it. Of course our host got mad at Denny, told him he didn't know what he was talking about, I'm sure some of the people ridiculed Denny, but he still stood up for what he believed in.

OK, so that event happened 30 years ago or so. It is one of those memories that haunts me to this day. I'm not saying I think about this daily or anything like that, but I've thought about it many times over those 30 years. I can see the look of pain on the victim's face. I can see Denny taking the high road and calling out our host for doing what he did. Denny took the hard way in this situation, and I took the easy road. Or did I? And that is the message I gave to my sons. In the short term, Denny took the hard route. I'm sure the rest of the evening was uncomfortable for Denny, being the minority, sticking up for what was right. Maybe the next few days were too, I really don't know. But probably shortly after all of this, Denny forgot about it. He had a clear conscience, because he did what was right. I've lived with this for 30 years. Short term, I took the easy way out. Long term, I've had to live with not doing the right thing. As I told the boys, whether it may be painful at the time, and it may even be painful for a short time after that, you can't go wrong if you do the right thing.

Here's to Denny Kelly for doing the right thing that night. I learned a valuable lesson, and I hope that I've been able to pass that lesson on to my sons so that if and when they are confronted with a situation like this, they will do the right thing also.

Father, Son and Holy Spirit - I think I finally got it!

Hopefully it hasn't become too clear from my posts, but I'm not always a rocket scientist. There are certain areas that just baffle me. Medical stuff is one. If we go to the doctor and they explain something, I usually have to have Laurel dumb it down for me. I just don't get it. I'm sure there are many other areas, but it would probably be best to just leave this area open and vague.

Except for the whole concept of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I have never understood it. One of my all time favorite church and kid stories is from years ago when Laurel and I were serving as shepherds at Church for a young children's group. Gerald Bailey, who was a fantastic teacher was leading the worship for the children, and he got on the topic of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. All of a sudden, one of the young boys, Will Boezi, burst out, "I don't get this Father, Son and Holy Spirit stuff!". Gerald's eyes got really big, I was sitting there thinking, wow, I agree, and Gerald reacted really well, and said, "You know, Will, sometimes I don't understand it myself." I'm sure he went on and explained it really well, but as is the case with every other time in my life, I just didn't get it.

Finally, I think I got it. After 49 years (and I'm not exposing Laurel's age, so it should be OK to say this), I think I got it. Recently in a sermon series, our pastor, Dr. Davis Chappell, put it in these terms. God above us (Father), God among us (Son), God within us (Holy Spirit). I could have shouted Hallelujah! This was the first time it ever made any sense to me (Please refer to the above about not being a rocket scientist).

I really hope this has all been much easier for all of you. As I like to refer to these, this was a major lightbulb moment for me. It only took 49 years.

Making Your Mark

"When you aim at nothing, you will hit nothing every time" - Allen Whittaker

Do you ever have those times in your life when things are just percolating in your mind, and you can't figure out how to pull all of those ideas or thoughts together? You know that somehow there is a link, but you can't see where that link is, it's just not that clear. I've been having that the last month or so.

The quote above is from the Director of Youth at our church, First United Methodist Church of Lawrenceville. I didn't hear it, but Dr. Davis Chappell quoted him in his recent sermon series, On Your Mark. I'll get back to that eventually.

Recently, I've had the pleasure to hear about a young man who we grew up with, Curtis Mann, who is making his mark in art. Curtis does some incredible things with photography, which quite frankly, I can't even describe, so I will refer you to his website, http://www.curtismann.com/, so you can see the unbelievable things he is able to do with photos. Curtis is making his mark, he is touching lives with a great gift that he has been given. To be honest, I struggle with making stick figures, so when I see something like this, I'm in complete awe of it.

I recently had some e-mail dialogue with Aaron Keyes. He is a worship leader in this area, and has touched many lives, but particularly both of my sons, Patrick and Sean. Aaron has appeared at their school several times, and has a gift for spreading the word of God and the love of Jesus through witness and music. His website is incredible, here is the link to it - http://www.aaronkeyes.com/.

As I've noted on my blog, I follow Dave Carr, his blog is at http://carrpediem.blogspot.com/. I have used Dave for learning initiatives at least four times for three different organizations. In each case, even the most stubborn dissenter, the ones who wanted to be there the least, came up to Dave afterward and expressed how much the course touched them. Dave has a unique way of bringing out the most in individuals and groups. Each time I've been through it, I've been enriched by the experience. As I've noted, when I grow up, I want to be Dave.

So what has been percolating the whole time for me was "how do I make my mark?" As noted above, it surely wouldn't be art. It couldn't be through music, as Laurel notes, I really don't have the ability to even clap along to a song, let alone sing. So what about those poor schleps (is that even a word?) like me who have no real talent or ability to touch the world with some great gift?

The good news was that it was a four-part sermon series. I guess there was a good reason to listen and pay attention to all four parts because eventually, I think, it all became much clearer to me. Dr. Chappell focused at one point on what is the aim of Christian life? The answer - to know Jesus and to become like Jesus. As Dr. Chappell pointed out, while he'd like to make it complicated for those who like things complicated, it doesn't get any more complicated than that.

I guess because I have always been so inept at art and music, I've always had a huge appreciation for what people can do with it. I'm amazed by Curtis' artwork, I marvel at people with musical abilities like Aaron Keyes, or even my own sons, Patrick and Sean. As noted, they didn't get it from me. I tend to be an introvert, so I'm never going to touch people like Aaron Keyes does as a worship leader, or even what Dave does as a trainer and facilitator. But I can try to know Jesus and to become like Jesus. After a great deal of percolating, and a great sermon series, I think I finally figured out that while there are some among us that are going to make their mark in a great way, there are many of us that will have to settle for making our marks in a simple, but very valuable way.

Friends, I'm far from this goal. There are so many times that I fall short, and it hurts when I do. Thankfully, there is grace, and I can keep trying, and maybe eventually, I'll make my mark. The good news is that I'm not aiming at nothing anymore.

If We Are the Body

“But if we are the Body

Why aren't His arms reaching

Why aren't His hands healing

Why aren't His words teaching

And if we are the Body

Why aren't His feet going

Why is His love not showing them there is a way There is a way” Words to “If We Are the Body” by Casting Crowns

Yesterday I flew home from California from a work assignment. I was really excited to be coming home, I had been gone all week, and it was questionable if I'd make it home, due to the weather. My flight had been cancelled out of Orange County, but I was able to get booked on the last seat of a flight leaving LAX at 6:15 in the morning. So, I got up at 3 am, and headed to the airport. When I got to Atlanta, the snow was coming down pretty hard, and it took a while to get home.

As I was coming into the neighborhood, really looking forward to seeing Laurel and the kids (and the dogs of course), I saw the sight above. I slowly drove by and scanned the belongings. Furniture, clothes, bedding, food, children's stuffed animals, an endless view of abandoned possessions. Obviously, with the snow, everything will be ruined. Not only will the owners not have the opportunity to wear these clothes, sit on this furniture, play with these toys, but no charity will get the opportunity to put these valuable furnishings to good use.

I have no idea how these people ended up in the position they did, but unfortunately there are so many of us that are at this point or reaching this point. How do we let this happen without knowing it or doing anything about it? I'm heartbroken that one of my neighbors suffered like this, and I knew nothing about it and did nothing about it. I know it sounds stupid, but what I really noticed or what caught my attention were the stuffed animals. Somewhere, there's a child that lost something dear to them, and they have no idea how or why.

Last night an e-mail came around from someone from the Homeowner's Association. The concern being expressed by many neighbors is how this looks and what can we do to remove this, so we don't have an eyesore in the neighborhood. I'm hopeful that the first reaction or thoughts were what can we do or what have we done to help the people that went through this painful experience. I know it may not always seem like it, but I really believe there is a way.