The Passing of a Classmate

I saw a post on Facebook about one of my classmates, Denny Kelly, passing due to cancer. As we all get older, and there is no doubt, I am getting older, this will be happening more and more, it is the reality of life. I saw that they were having a tribute to Denny yesterday in Slippery Rock, PA, where I grew up, and distance wouldn't have allowed me to attend, I have my own tribute to Denny, and a very valuable lesson I shared with my sons.

Back in high school or maybe right after high school, one of our classmates had a party at his house, his parents were out of town. As much as I hate to admit it (especially for my kids to read), I'm certain we were drinking and doing various other things we shouldn't have been doing. At one point, one of our classmates arrived, and he wasn't welcome by the host. Our host took a paper plate full of shaving cream, and shoved it in the young man's face, and told him to leave. At first, the guy thought it was a joke, and even starting licking the shaving cream off his face, thinking it was whipped cream, but then shortly realized, it wasn't a joke. He got a really hurt look on his face, and slowly walked away from the party and left.

All of us at the party laughed as the whole scenario transpired. Some laughed because they truly thought it was funny. Some, probably most, were like me. We laughed that uncomfortable laugh when something is happening that really we don't agree with, but we are too scared or don't have the guts to stand up for what is right or against what is wrong. We all laughed except for Denny. Denny was the only person who got really angry and stood up for something that was really wrong. He confronted the host and told him what he did was wrong, and he shouldn't have done it. Of course our host got mad at Denny, told him he didn't know what he was talking about, I'm sure some of the people ridiculed Denny, but he still stood up for what he believed in.

OK, so that event happened 30 years ago or so. It is one of those memories that haunts me to this day. I'm not saying I think about this daily or anything like that, but I've thought about it many times over those 30 years. I can see the look of pain on the victim's face. I can see Denny taking the high road and calling out our host for doing what he did. Denny took the hard way in this situation, and I took the easy road. Or did I? And that is the message I gave to my sons. In the short term, Denny took the hard route. I'm sure the rest of the evening was uncomfortable for Denny, being the minority, sticking up for what was right. Maybe the next few days were too, I really don't know. But probably shortly after all of this, Denny forgot about it. He had a clear conscience, because he did what was right. I've lived with this for 30 years. Short term, I took the easy way out. Long term, I've had to live with not doing the right thing. As I told the boys, whether it may be painful at the time, and it may even be painful for a short time after that, you can't go wrong if you do the right thing.

Here's to Denny Kelly for doing the right thing that night. I learned a valuable lesson, and I hope that I've been able to pass that lesson on to my sons so that if and when they are confronted with a situation like this, they will do the right thing also.