I've Become a Depressed Commie?

 A few years ago, I was in a Teams meeting with my Small Group from my former church, and the topic of sports came up.  I made the comment that I had quit watching sports, I had no interest anymore.

One of my dear friends, Jim Dyer, made the comment, “Are you sure you aren’t depressed?  Losing interest in sports is a sign of depression.”

Now, in defense of Jim, it was a logical road to travel, as I’ve suffered most of my adult life from depression.  But no, in this case, I really didn’t see the corollary, I really didn’t sense that depression was leading me away from sports.

A little while later, I woke up on a Monday morning to about 15 texts on my cell phone.  I probably don’t typically have 15 texts in a month’s time, so I was taken aback, and as I read through them, it was a chat between two of my high school friends.  Apparently the Steelers had been playing the night before, and apparently, it was a really good game, and apparently, the Steelers almost pulled it out.  I texted them once I figured it all out, and said, “Did the Steelers play last night?”  Dale, my best friend from high school, answered, “Yeah, it was a great game, they almost came back and won, didn’t you watch it?”  I said, “No, I don’t watch sports anymore.”

His response, “Are you a commie or something?”

Yes, sadly, I’ve become a depressed commie in my old age….

I think it’s important to set some context for all of this.  In my younger days, I ate, drank and slept sports.  I remember lying in my bed with my transistor radio pressed against my ear, listening to Bob Prince and Nellie King providing a picture of the Pirate game that night.  I can still hear “the Great Roberto!”, “Chicken on the Hill with Will!” and “That’s a can of corn!”.  I would watch any possible sports on TV.  Back then, we didn’t have a non-stop barrage of sports on TV, so whether it was Wide World of Sports, the Baseball Game of the Week on Saturdays, tennis, golf, even bowling, I’d watch it. 

Now, I can’t remember the last sports event I watched.  I can still tell you who won the World Series in 1967, that Bob Gibson had a 1.12 ERA in 1968, the starting infield for the Chicago Cubs in 1969, and the starting rotation for the Baltimore Orioles in 1970.  But I’m not sure who won the World Series this year (Arizona?), I think Kansas City won the Super Bowl last year?  Since it’s so fresh, I know Michigan won the National Title in college football (more on that later).  OK, I’m pretty well tapped out.

So, what happened?

Let’s start with baseball, my favorite sport.  There are several large market teams whose payroll exceeds $200m, and then there are a few, like the Pirates, whose payroll is below $100m.  While money can’t buy happiness, it can buy a World Series title.  Once in a Blue Moon (and I'm not referring to that great A's pitcher, Blue Moon Odom), a low budget team advances to the World Series, and maybe wins, which provides evidence to Major League Baseball that the system isn’t broken, but it is.  It’s not really feasible to win unless you can spend at least a reasonable amount of money, which many teams can’t afford.  So I quit watching baseball.

In regard to football and hockey, I struggle with the issue of brain trauma that so many athletes and former athletes suffer from.  When you read some of the tragic stories of former athletes, legends that you loved to watch like Mike Webster, and what they went through post-career, I struggle to enjoy watching the games.  Plus, as the great writer Dejan Kovacevic (more on him later) would say, the National Hockey League is a “Garage League”.  Hockey is one of the most exciting games played, but the fine leadership in the NHL can’t seem to get out of their own way and let the game thrive and flourish.  It could be so much more, but it never will be under the current regime.

Basketball?  It’s hard to believe a game that could or should be so exciting, is really boring all season until the playoffs.  There’s really no reason to watch it, teams seem to sleep walk through the regular season until the real season starts.  It’s probably the sport that I gave up the earliest, just no real interest anymore.

OK, how about college sports?  Where the game is still the game!  College sports have become truly about money and very little else.  I was never an advocate of paying the players, but really, we should stop the sham of “student athletes”, and just pay the players to play, and if they want to attend school, they can.  It’s really not fair to the players not to share in the huge wealth of college sports.  The fact that Texas A&M paid Jimbo Fisher $75m not to coach speaks volumes on the topic.

The funny thing about all of this is that I still read about sports.  Again, this probably needs some context.  When I was growing up, I dreamed of becoming a sports writer.  That never panned out, but I’ve always loved to read about sports, but not just sports, the people who compete in sports.  The best way I can describe it is the one time when I was on the board of the Miami Valley Literacy Council in Dayton, Ohio, Tom Archdeacon, who wrote about sports for the Dayton Daily News, was our keynote speaker.  His comment was, “People call me a sports writer, but the way I view it, I write about people, who just happen to play sports.”  When I was a fledgling sports writer, that’s what I loved, writing about people who happened to play sports.  Unfortunately, you have to pay a lot of hard dues along the way to possibly get to that point, and I wasn’t willing to do it.

I still subscribe to an online publication called, “DK Pittsburgh Sports”.  The main reason I’ve kept my subscription is because of the writing of Dejan Kovacevic.  I would read anything that he writes, doesn’t matter if it were badminton, curling, bocce ball, I’d read it.  He always has such an incredible insight into any sports event, and he writes beautifully about the people who play the game.  While I’ve lost interest in sports, I haven’t lost interest in great writing.

The other funny thing is that I’ve found some other really good writers along the way.  Taylor Haase covers the Penguins, and she provides great analysis, statistics, insight, and also some really good humor.  I find myself looking forward to her views on the snack offerings at hockey arenas almost as much as her game summary of what went right, or wrong, for the Penguins that night.  Alex Stumpf covers the Pirates, and the best compliment that I can give him is that he makes the Pirates interesting and relevant.  I really have no idea how he does that because quite frankly, they’re neither, but I always look forward to what he has to say about the Pirates.  With all due respect to the rest of the writing team, I’m sure they’re all good, I really don’t pay any attention to anyone but the Pirates and Penguins anymore, the Penguins because I love hockey, and the Pirates, because they were and always will be, my first love.

What Will I Miss?

This:

This was from way back in 2013 when the Pirates became relevant again.  They had missed the playoffs for over 20 years, and finally, they were back.  Not for long, but they were back.  I was able to get Patrick and Sean on board with me for the ride, and they raised the Jolly Roger.  It was great to share that journey, have my sons join me, live and die the Pirates, even if it was brief.  That was fun.

What reminded me of that moment was this:

This is a friend that I used to work with, Adam Meekhof, and he is a huge Michigan fan.  I’ve seen him live and die Michigan over the past several years, and of course, this was their/his year.  The day after Michigan won the National Championship, Adam posted a bunch of pictures of the night as it transpired.  This is the one that captured me.  Look at that passion, see that intensity.  And I love that it’s a shared passion and intensity between Adam and his daughter Addison.  What a beautiful picture, what a beautiful moment.

Yes, that is what I’ll miss.  There’s a certain level of awe that we experience when we can share those great sports moments with each other, especially if it’s family or close friends.  It’s powerful, it’s magical.  Yes, I’ll miss it, but for now, I’m happy to live it vicariously, watching people like Adam and Addison experience the elation of your team winning it all.  As for me, I’ll live out my years as a depressed commie….

 

Five Years

We've got five years, what a surprise

We've got five years, stuck on my eyes

We've got five years, my brain hurts a lot

Five years, that's all we've got

Nadia Bolz-Weber, one of my favorite theologians, recently posted a blog titled “Ziggy Stardust and the Future of the Church”.  I was intrigued for a variety of reasons.  One, as some of you know, I left the church about three years ago.  I was curious what Nadia had to say about the future of the church.  Two, I would read absolutely anything she writes, she is one of the most honest, down to earth theologians I’ve ever read.  Three, and maybe most importantly, “The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars” by David Bowie was the second album I ever owned, and since that was way back in 1972 when I was 12 years old, I probably listened to it at least once a day, since, well, when you only have two albums, and the internet hadn’t been invented yet, what else were you going to do?  Yes, as usual, I digress.

The blog centers on Bowie’s song “Five Years”, which is an apocalyptic vision of the world only having five more years left.  It runs through the emotions of how we would react, what would we do, what would be important if we knew we only had five more years to live our lives?

The purpose of the blog was to call out the church for all that it does, or doesn’t do, in the name of longevity or trying to maintain a relevance or purpose.  Even though Nadia is a Lutheran minister, she had some harsh words for the church.  As she notes, people are leaving the church in droves, and not because they don’t believe in the beauty of Jesus Christ and his teaching, but because they can’t sit back and be a part of an institution that pretends to hold firmly to that principle.  Unfortunately, I feel the same way, which is the reason I left the church, and to be honest, I think my faith and spirituality have grown considerably since then.

If we knew we only had five years left, how would we act differently?  Would we enjoy our experience more, would we embrace each other more, would we be more welcoming?  Would we quit worrying about the numbers, we added 50 new members this year!  Would we stop the politics, quit fine tuning our various rules and regulations, quit arguing over who does or doesn’t get into heaven, quit hating whatever group we choose to hate that day?  Would we simply love each other more and accept each other for who they/we are, would we maybe…. really love our neighbor?  

It reminded me, on the business side, Eli Goldratt took a similar approach in his book, “The Goal”.  In that setting, the leadership came in from corporate and told the plant manager, “You have six months to turn this place around, or we’re shutting it down.”  If you have just six months, what would you do, what would be important?  I often felt we should have taken this approach in various business scenarios, if we had to really focus on what was most important, what would we work on?

I thought about all of the various meetings and discussions we have at work, and really, how relevant are all of those?  I remember when I was at Barco or WIKA, we would spend hour upon hour preparing for Profit Plan meetings, or SML meetings, and then we would sit and talk all day about what we had done and what we planned to do.  I still remember many years ago, and it was funny, but maybe not, Al Herman, a wonderful man I worked with at Barco, made the mistake in one of those meetings of sending an e-mail where he stated, “I’m in a Profit Plan meeting, where all hope has gone to die”.  Unfortunately, Al hit copy all when he sent the e-mail, so everyone saw how he felt.  To be honest, probably 90% of the people agreed with him.  There were so many meetings I felt the same way, why don’t we spend eight hours doing the work, and one hour talking about it, rather than just the opposite?  

And now, it takes me to our Faculty Senate meetings at school.  Same story, different venue.  At least at this stage in my career, if a student wants to meet with me, and it conflicts with Faculty Senate, I meet with the student.  I didn’t have that luxury in my business career, and I may not have that luxury here, but I really don’t care, my students come first.

We were given this opportunity a few years ago, in a much smaller way, in this case related to our first dog, Snickers.  We took Snickers to the vet, and the vet told us that Snickers’ internal organs were shutting down, there was nothing that we could do, he probably had a few weeks or a month left to live.  Essentially they were right, but they missed by about 11 months, Snickers made it about a full year before we had to mercifully put him down.

It may sound crazy, but it was such a beautiful experience for us.  Since we thought Snickers had very little time left, so many things became important, while others lost their importance.  We let him wander the backyard a lot more, not worrying about hurrying him back in.  We let him eat lots of snacks and treats, we put chicken broth on his dog food, we didn’t really worry if he put on a few pounds.  We didn’t yell at him when he did something wrong, we just let it go.  We just enjoyed our time with him, and tried to help him enjoy his time that was left.  We had a wonderful year with Snickers, probably the most enjoyable, at least for us, we just loved him.

If and when our time is limited, what becomes important?  What would you do, if you knew we only five years left?  How would you lead your life?  I thought about it, and I put together a short list.  I would:

• Spend as much time as I could with Laurel, there is no one’s company that I enjoy more.
• Spend more time with my children, I unfortunately was one of those people who lived the Harry Chapin song, “Cats in the Cradle”, I was never there for my children, and I’d love to be there for them now, but their lives are busy now of course.
• Do as much yoga as possible.  One of the greatest gifts that I’ve been given and given myself.
• Read.  I was blessed early in life to enjoy reading, I probably went away from it for a time, but I’ve come to embrace it again, I love to read.
• Enjoy everything about nature.  God gave us a beautiful planet, and there’s so much to see, really, right out in our backyard.
• Smile more, be more patient with people, talk to strangers, listen better.
• Spend time with friends, probably the area, many of us, or at least me, neglect the most.

What would you do?  I’m sure I missed a lot, what would you do if we only had five years?  I know to a great extent, it’s irrational for most of us, except for old people like me, to envision what we would do if we only had five years left, but maybe, just maybe, we could work it into our daily practice.  While I’m still falling short on many of the items on the list above, I do my fair share of yoga, I read every day, and we go for walks every day and enjoy seeing the geese, ducks, rabbits, flowers, whatever nature has to offer that day.  Oh, and I’m pretty sure Laurel is seeing plenty of me each day, probably much more than she’d like to, I’m afraid…

Maybe it’s just a little progress, but I’ll take it.  Hopefully I can make a dent in the rest of the list as time goes on.  And I sure hope I don’t need someone to come down to Earth to tell me I only have five years to get it done.

My Word for 2024: Kindness

 “This is a sermon about kindness, simple kindness.  It’s a sermon about the opportunities that we have, all of us, …to treat other people with gentleness, meekness, tenderness, mercy, and kindness.  Sometimes we do; sometimes we don’t, but you know what I’m talking about.  I’m talking about kindness, simple kindness.”  Dr. Thomas Long, from the sermon, “Be Kind, Be Kind, Be Kind”

Looking back at some of my blog posts, I’ve quoted Dr. Long so much, I think I owe him royalties.  Although, a percentage of nothing, is still nothing.  But, as usual, I digress….

As noted in previous years, I follow the leadership of a dear friend, Dave Carr, and I adopt a word I want to focus on each year, rather than making a New Year’s resolution.  Let’s take a quick look back, we are now in year 4 of this practice:

2021 – Faith.  I adopted this word because I had recently left the church after being a faithful member for all of my adult life.  This one has gone quite well, even though I have not returned to the church, I believe my faith, my love of Jesus Christ and all that He did for us, has grown even stronger. 

2022 – Forgiveness.  Bleah.  Not everything can go as planned, I guess.  I had hoped if I’d really focus on forgiveness, and specifically, self-forgiveness, I’d overcome this obstacle.  Still, not a whole lot of headway on this one.  Maybe this is a life-long project rather than one to conquer in a year.

2023 – Gratitude.  Actually, I think I did well on this one.  I tried to look at the positive aspect of any situation and find gratitude for the positives, and even the learning moments from the negatives.

For 2024, I’ve chosen Kindness, and as I look back at some of my previous posts, not sure how this one didn’t come into play sooner.  As noted, I love to quote Dr. Long, I heard that sermon over 30 years ago, and it still is one of my top “go to” sermons.  And, as many of you know, Mr. Rogers is one of my heroes in life, I wish I could be more like him, but I suspect I’m not the only one.  The man was so kind and compassionate to everyone around him.

To be clear up front, and Dr. Long expounded on this in his sermon, kindness doesn’t mean that you just give in on everything and let people have their way, or not hold them accountable.  In many ways, it can be just the opposite.  Kindness oftentimes demands that we stand up for what we believe in, support those who need our support, and hold people accountable for what they are responsible for.  I remember when I read Mr. Rogers’ biography, it was laced with moments where he had to stand firm, hold his ground, and passionately argue for the proper way to educate and entertain children.  The path of kindness isn’t always the easiest way to go.  But it’s usually the right way to go. 

I was texting back and forth on New Year’s Eve with Elijah, one of my former colleagues at WIKA Sensor Technology, and really a wonderful young man.  When I told him about the word I chose, his reply was, “If your goal has been kindness, you achieved it…at least for me.  Thank you for everything.”  Yeah, I probably did achieve it with Elijah, although probably not always, but it’s easy to be kind to Elijah. Elijah is a great young man, and he also takes on responsibility quite well.  It would be difficult not to be kind to Elijah, but there are all those others….

Yes, all those others.  The easy path is to be kind to people like Elijah, the hard path is to be kind to all of those people who get under your skin for whatever reason it is that day.  We all have our beliefs, our view of the world or issues, whatever it might be, so I’ll let you think about or imagine your own, but as I visualize that person, those people, who seems to always be able to get under my skin, for whatever reason, how am I going to exercise kindness to them today?  As I imagine it, this won’t be an easy path, but I’m bound and determined to get better and show, even that really irritating person, kindness today.  I may disagree with them, I may stand up for what I believe in, I may hold them accountable for what they were supposed to do, but I can do it in a kind way.

And quite frankly, one of the greatest culprits, the one who can really piss me off, is me.   Do you know how many times a day, I have a conversation with myself that starts with:

“Steve, you idiot!”

“You’re such a fucking moron!”

“How could you be so stupid!”

It hurts to even write it.  But, it’s the truth that I wish weren’t so.  When I let myself down, when I don’t meet those expectations I set for myself, I could show a bit more compassion and kindly, gently admonish myself to do better the next time around.

Recently, we went to a yoga class on New Year’s Day, and Emily had affirmation cards for us to pick, without being able to see what was on them.  I picked this one:

I immediately wanted to put it back, because I thought, there’s no way I’m deeply loved by the universe!  And then I thought, kindness, yes, I got this card for a reason.  Most likely, kindness will have to start with me, and maybe, I can or will get better at showing kindness to the other people who irritate me in my life.

Kindness, simple kindness.  I think I’ve chosen a very challenging, but worthwhile, word for 2024.  And who knows, maybe I’ll finally make some headway on 2022’s word, Forgiveness, in the process!