My Word for 2024: Kindness

 “This is a sermon about kindness, simple kindness.  It’s a sermon about the opportunities that we have, all of us, …to treat other people with gentleness, meekness, tenderness, mercy, and kindness.  Sometimes we do; sometimes we don’t, but you know what I’m talking about.  I’m talking about kindness, simple kindness.”  Dr. Thomas Long, from the sermon, “Be Kind, Be Kind, Be Kind”

Looking back at some of my blog posts, I’ve quoted Dr. Long so much, I think I owe him royalties.  Although, a percentage of nothing, is still nothing.  But, as usual, I digress….

As noted in previous years, I follow the leadership of a dear friend, Dave Carr, and I adopt a word I want to focus on each year, rather than making a New Year’s resolution.  Let’s take a quick look back, we are now in year 4 of this practice:

2021 – Faith.  I adopted this word because I had recently left the church after being a faithful member for all of my adult life.  This one has gone quite well, even though I have not returned to the church, I believe my faith, my love of Jesus Christ and all that He did for us, has grown even stronger. 

2022 – Forgiveness.  Bleah.  Not everything can go as planned, I guess.  I had hoped if I’d really focus on forgiveness, and specifically, self-forgiveness, I’d overcome this obstacle.  Still, not a whole lot of headway on this one.  Maybe this is a life-long project rather than one to conquer in a year.

2023 – Gratitude.  Actually, I think I did well on this one.  I tried to look at the positive aspect of any situation and find gratitude for the positives, and even the learning moments from the negatives.

For 2024, I’ve chosen Kindness, and as I look back at some of my previous posts, not sure how this one didn’t come into play sooner.  As noted, I love to quote Dr. Long, I heard that sermon over 30 years ago, and it still is one of my top “go to” sermons.  And, as many of you know, Mr. Rogers is one of my heroes in life, I wish I could be more like him, but I suspect I’m not the only one.  The man was so kind and compassionate to everyone around him.

To be clear up front, and Dr. Long expounded on this in his sermon, kindness doesn’t mean that you just give in on everything and let people have their way, or not hold them accountable.  In many ways, it can be just the opposite.  Kindness oftentimes demands that we stand up for what we believe in, support those who need our support, and hold people accountable for what they are responsible for.  I remember when I read Mr. Rogers’ biography, it was laced with moments where he had to stand firm, hold his ground, and passionately argue for the proper way to educate and entertain children.  The path of kindness isn’t always the easiest way to go.  But it’s usually the right way to go. 

I was texting back and forth on New Year’s Eve with Elijah, one of my former colleagues at WIKA Sensor Technology, and really a wonderful young man.  When I told him about the word I chose, his reply was, “If your goal has been kindness, you achieved it…at least for me.  Thank you for everything.”  Yeah, I probably did achieve it with Elijah, although probably not always, but it’s easy to be kind to Elijah. Elijah is a great young man, and he also takes on responsibility quite well.  It would be difficult not to be kind to Elijah, but there are all those others….

Yes, all those others.  The easy path is to be kind to people like Elijah, the hard path is to be kind to all of those people who get under your skin for whatever reason it is that day.  We all have our beliefs, our view of the world or issues, whatever it might be, so I’ll let you think about or imagine your own, but as I visualize that person, those people, who seems to always be able to get under my skin, for whatever reason, how am I going to exercise kindness to them today?  As I imagine it, this won’t be an easy path, but I’m bound and determined to get better and show, even that really irritating person, kindness today.  I may disagree with them, I may stand up for what I believe in, I may hold them accountable for what they were supposed to do, but I can do it in a kind way.

And quite frankly, one of the greatest culprits, the one who can really piss me off, is me.   Do you know how many times a day, I have a conversation with myself that starts with:

“Steve, you idiot!”

“You’re such a fucking moron!”

“How could you be so stupid!”

It hurts to even write it.  But, it’s the truth that I wish weren’t so.  When I let myself down, when I don’t meet those expectations I set for myself, I could show a bit more compassion and kindly, gently admonish myself to do better the next time around.

Recently, we went to a yoga class on New Year’s Day, and Emily had affirmation cards for us to pick, without being able to see what was on them.  I picked this one:

I immediately wanted to put it back, because I thought, there’s no way I’m deeply loved by the universe!  And then I thought, kindness, yes, I got this card for a reason.  Most likely, kindness will have to start with me, and maybe, I can or will get better at showing kindness to the other people who irritate me in my life.

Kindness, simple kindness.  I think I’ve chosen a very challenging, but worthwhile, word for 2024.  And who knows, maybe I’ll finally make some headway on 2022’s word, Forgiveness, in the process!