It's Not Working

"Now there is a final reason I think that Jesus says, 'Love your enemies.' It is this: that love has within it a redemptive power.  And there is a power there that eventually transforms individuals.  Just keep being friendly to that person.  Just keep loving them and they can't stand it too long.  Oh, they react in many ways in the beginning.  They react with guilt feelings, and sometimes they'll hate you a little more at that transition period, but just keep loving them.  And by the power of your love they will break down under the load.  That's love, you see.  It is redemptive, and this is why Jesus says love.  There's something about love that builds up and is creative.  There is something about hate that tears down and is destructive.  So love your enemies." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I guess like most people, when tragedy hits close to home, it hurts a little bit more.  Two weeks ago, Antwan Toney, a Gwinnett County Police Officer was murdered doing his job in Snellville.  As he approached a suspicious car, without warning, the people inside the car shot him and killed him.  Like most people, I have a special place in my heart for police officers, I can’t imagine doing what they do.  Any police killing tears me up, but this one was so close to us.  I kept thinking, when I went to the Snellville Farmer’s Market each week, when there was a police officer stopping traffic to let Laurel and I cross, could Officer Toney have been one of those officers?  I couldn’t get that thought out of my mind.

Through the glory of God (OK, some people can chalk it up to something else, but I would disagree), I had perfect timing the day of Officer Toney’s funeral.  Just as I was crossing over 316 on Sugarloaf Parkway, a fire truck pulled up, and stopped traffic.  I was sitting with a direct sight line down 316.  First I saw the helicopter hovering to my right, and then I saw the sea of lights.  First the motorcycles, then the cruisers.  I sat there for 40 minutes watching the sea of lights, blue lights as far as you could see.  Yes, I teared up several times, one, for the loss of a precious life that didn’t need to be lost, and two, for the beauty of the mourning and celebration of his life.  It was an incredibly inspiring moment for me, and I’m so thankful I had the opportunity to experience it.

Last week, it was the mass shooting in Pittsburgh.  Eleven people were murdered at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Squirrel Hill.  I had just been in that neighborhood a couple months ago, my Small Group from my former church, Westminster Presbyterian Church, had our retreat in that area.  Laurel and Megan had come to the area also, and eventually Laurel and I met family there, we had both grown up in the Pittsburgh area.  As Laurel noted, we had driven by the Tree of Life Synagogue during our time there. 

I know so many of us can say this about where we’re from, but Pittsburgh is still home for us.  We grew up there, and there’s something special about Pittsburgh.  As I’ve seen so many times, it’s a small, big city.  There are so many quaint neighborhoods like Squirrel Hill where everyone knows everyone, and everyone on a certain level is family.  That family lost a great number of its members that day.  And that shot or those shots were heard and felt throughout our country. 

Yesterday, I saw a beautiful article in “The Athletic” from a young man named Yogi Roth, detailing his ties to this tragedy, and how it impacted him.  Don’t know if you are a subscriber to that website, but if you are, read it.  It’s a beautiful article.  He talks about his grandparents, who were Holocaust survivors, and one of the things they always told him was, “Yogi – Love Wins”.

Now, I have to tell you, I’m a huge advocate and proponent of “love wins”, but my faith and belief in this has been sorely shaken these last few weeks.  I’m struggling to see where love is winning.  No matter what side of whatever issue we are on, there is very little love being shown.  While Jesus told us one of the greatest commandments was “love your neighbor”, we are failing miserably at that directive.

Maybe it’s just the fact that it’s the campaign season, and we are being inundated with hate speech, but really, is it working?  Whether the issue is immigration, LGBT rights, abortion, gun control, is it really working?  We take up our sides, we hold firm to our arguments, and we steadfastly argue those talking points until we have exhausted ourselves or anyone willing to listen.

I yell at you, you yell louder at me, I punch you in the nose, you punch me in the mouth, I bloody your nose, you bloody my lip.  Are we really accomplishing anything?  Have we made any significant change in how anyone really believes?  It’s not working.

We recently had an Adult Education series where we studied the book, “Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White”.  We discussed so many of these issues where each of us takes a stand, and defend that stand to the death, rather than trying to see the perspective of the other person.  Again, it’s not working.

In irony, I was driving home the one day, and there was a segment from a woman who called herself an “Abortion Bridge Builder” or something like that.  She had been a person who advocated abortion rights, and she had been fighting this battle for many years, and she finally realized, it wasn’t working.  She mentioned an evangelical minister who had the same realization.  Each side had dug in their heals so deeply, and nothing was getting accomplished.  So she reached out to try to bridge the gap and see how each side could reach a viable compromise.  What was ironic was the ones who fought so hard against her were the ones she had sided with previously.  She was viewed as a traitor. 

We can continue to dig our heels in, and fight against each other, or we can try to determine where we have some common ground.  If you think about it, there are many people you love dearly, who you also disagree with on many issues.  Does it make sense to yell at them, disparage them, embarrass them, humiliate them?  Or could you seek to understand, could you try to seek a common ground, a way to at least disagree, but disagree with a greater understanding and some compassion?

Will this prevent the tragedies that I mentioned, will it prevent the next police officer from getting killed, or the next mass shooting?  In all honesty, probably not, at least on the short term.  On the longer term, we have a greater obligation to ourselves and to our children to take hatred out of our dialogue with each other.  We can’t let it take over our lives, we can’t let it govern how we treat each other. 

I’ll go back to the article from Yogi Roth.  Toward the end, he gives us all a charge, which I loved.  He said, “I hope you will take action, whether it’s by calling someone you love, praying for someone you love, or standing up for something you love”.  As noted, read the article if you can.  It’s really a great article.

I’m going to take this a step further. Practice random acts of kindness.  It’s really not that hard.  It can be people you know, or strangers.  Be kind.  Do you know what that does for them?  Kindness can be incredible.  Pay it forward.  Do something for someone, pay something for someone, give something to someone, and if they ask, just say, “when you get the opportunity, do it for someone else.”  If all of us did this, seriously, can you imagine the impact we would have?  And it’s not that hard.

I’ve seen it, you’ve seen it.  I’ve seen it in a big way from Jeff Poynter.  He’s the Church Administrator at First United Methodist Church in Lawrenceville.  Jeff decided to run a marathon, for the first time in his life, with four goals in mind: glorifying God; honoring Cliff Ramos and Donna Bennett in their fight with pancreatic cancer; raising $10,000 for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network; and finishing the marathon.  Jeff blew past the $10,000 and raised over $42,000.  With the recent events, Jeff’s efforts went a long way toward firming up my belief that love does win.

But it doesn’t have to be something as grand and glorious as what Jeff did, it is oftentimes the simple things in life that can make a difference.  I’ve seen it from so many caring and loving people at Ebb & Flow, our yoga studio, I’ve seen it at Shallowford Presbyterian Church, I’ve seen it from my Small Group from my former church, I’ve seen it at WIKA, I’ve seen it in my neighborhood.  I’ve seen people reach out and help those who needed it, who have taken the time to care and nurture for others, who have just done something to make someone’s day. 

Just as hate didn’t win in the concentration camps in Germany during World War II, just as hate didn’t win when Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated in Memphis in 1968, just as hate didn’t win in New York on 9/11/01, hate didn’t win when Officer Toney was murdered or when those 11 people were murdered in Pittsburgh. 

So for anyone who wants to work from an agenda of hate, it’s not working.  And it will never work.  Yogi Roth is right, love wins.  Love won on the cross, and love will always win. So please, call someone you love.  Pray for someone you love.  Stand up for something you love.  And be kind.  Just be kind.  It can make all the difference.