To My Graduate - Do As I Say, Not As I Do!

My daughter Kelly graduated from Kennesaw State University last week. She graduated in accounting (I tried my best to talk her out of it, but to no avail). The graduation ceremony was really nice, great pomp and circumstance, a bagpiper, great speeches, everything you would want from a graduation. I only teared up three or four times.

I have to first admit that I tried my best to imitate one of those Disney dad's before the ceremony. If you don't know what I mean, I'm talking about one of those dad's that is on his cell phone, or at a business meeting or whatever business affair, and shows up after his son's/daughter's baseball game or recital or whatever special event is over.

In my case, I was obsessed with everything going on at work, and focused on everything that needed to get done before the end of the year. I wasn't thrilled to go to the graduation, and I was committed to get back to work as soon as possible after the ceremony. Kelly asked a couple times about going out to dinner after the ceremony, and I brushed her off and told her that I had to get back to work. This "Disney Dad" attitude continued until the day of the graduation. Somehow, thankfully, something showed me what a jackass I was being, and I realized how important this was to her, and how important this was to me. This was a huge event, and it was cause for celebration and remembrance. So, I forgot about work. I enjoyed the graduation ceremony, I really listened to the commencement speech (and it was really good), I savored the moment. We took pictures afterward, we froze our butts off, and we got to spend some quality time together at dinner.

Which brings me to the speech, and the story above is a microcosm of what I have done wrong, and I don't want Kelly, or any of my children, or anyone else to do. The best life is a balanced life. You need to balance work with Faith, Family and Friendship. It will make you a better person, a happier person and a more well-rounded person. You will have choices throughout your life to work or spend time with your family, your friends or at church or in a church-related activity. There are definitely times, where work calls, and you have to answer. There are times though, where work calls, and you need to hang up and tell work to call back later.

I could tell countless stories to highlight this (unfortunately). I missed a friend's wedding because I was too busy at work. I missed countless children's activities. I blew off church to go to work. When our boys were born (twins making our third and fourth children), Laurel gave me the choice of working less or quitting playing golf. I quit golf. Ultimately, if you don't lead a balanced life, you can not, and will not, be nearly as effective as a person or an employee to your company. I don't want employees like me. People who know when to stop working, who lead a balanced life, bring a better attitude and demeanor to work. They are much happier, relaxed and energetic at work. They are fun to work with. I can tell you that I've heard this throughout my career from supervisors and managers I've had. As one partner in public accounting once told me, "there is enough work here that you could work seven days a week, 24 hours a day, and the work still wouldn't get done. You need to learn to just walk away at the end of a day satisfied with what you did and come back the next day to start on it again." The work will always be there. Some of the special moments won't be, once they're gone, they're gone forever.

So, enjoy your life. When you're at work, work hard, give your best to your company. When the work day is done, leave it behind, it will be there tomorrow. Spend time with your family and with your friends. Get involved in community activities or church activities. Travel and see other countries and other parts of the US. Set the computer aside at night. Turn the Blackberry off. Listen with all your heart. When you are with loved ones, be always present.

If you need any advice on how to do all of this, talk to Dave Carr, he is who I want to be when I grow up.