Saturday, December 3, 2011

When You Are Facing Death - Or At Least You Think You Might Be

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord - Romans 6:23

Recently I was on a flight from Chicago to Pittsburgh on a small commuter jet. I had been in Chicago all week for work, it was a long, grueling, intense week. Long days, long nights, lot of good work accomplished, but it was nice to come to the end of the week. Friday night, I had the opportunity to have dinner with Megan and Thomas, I had seen them recently at my niece Molly's wedding, but it was still nice to get some time with them. Saturday morning, it was off to Grove City College to see Patrick for the first time since he had gone off to college. I was meeting Laurel at the Pittsburgh airport before heading up to Grove City, hence the flight from Chicago to Pittsburgh.

As I waited for the flight, I saw many members of the "Steeler Nation". The Steelers were playing New England that Sunday in Pittsburgh, so the fans were descending from all corners. One couple was from Iowa. One gentleman was from Arkansas. I listened with amusement, hearing the stories of past visits to the hallowed grounds, Heinz Field. The outfits are always fascinating, the one woman had a pair of Nike shoes that were black and gold, I had no idea you could get something like these. Since I'm originally from the Pittsburgh area, these discussions, stories, are music to my ears. I love to hear people talk about Pittsburgh and Pittsburgh sports. While my greatest allegiance is with the Penguins, and then the Pirates, my sports heart in general is always in Pittsburgh.

The flight for the most part was like any other flight. It was a foggy, ugly day, but I've flown in worse. I had plenty to keep me busy work-wise on the plane, so I settled in to getting work done, and didn't think much more about anything else. After a while though, I realized that the flight was taking a really long time for some reason. We should have landed a while ago, but we were circling and not getting to our destination. I was getting antsy, I had to meet Laurel, I wanted to get to Grove City in time for the game and seeing Patrick play in the band. It was getting very frustrating.

Then, the flight attendant told us why it was taking so long. There was a minor problem, nothing to worry about. The flaps weren't working. This kind of thing happens all the time. We will most likely make an emergency landing, but no need to worry. You should "assume the position", put your hands against the seat in front of you, and put your head against it, to prepare for a crash landing.

Soon thereafter, the pilot came on, and largely reiterated the theme. No big deal, we'll be coming in fast and hard with no flaps and have to rely on reverse thrust and the brakes. Don't worry about the fire trucks lining the runway, it's just a precaution. We do this all the time, no big deal.

I guess it's probably the fact that I've flown so much that I've become callous to flying and the potential risk. I heard these explanations and assumed everything was completely under control. How often do planes really crash anyway, it's very rare, less risk than driving on the highway. Besides, the flight attendant and pilot said that everything was fine, this happens all the time, there was no risk.

But then, I started thinking, what else would they really say? "Hey guys, we have some serious shit going on here, and you all may die!" That probably wouldn't work. The plane got very quiet as all of us started thinking about the possibilities. As we started descending, I could see the fire trucks lining the runway. I finally figured out that this was probably part of the reason for the long delay in landing, they were trying to get the fire trucks in place. Of course, this was all a bit disconcerting. As they had noted, we were coming in fast and hard. With no flaps, there wasn't really anything to slow the plane down.

While most people would have had reality hit much sooner than me, reality finally hit. There was the potential, I was about to die. No flaps, fire trucks on the runway, emergency landing procedures, hmmm, I'm no rocket scientist, obviously, but this may not turn out well. I turned to prayer as potentially my last minutes laid ahead of me. My prayers? Surprisingly simple. Maybe it was the surprise of the situation I was in, maybe it was my callousness to the dangers of flying, maybe it is where I am right now in my spiritual journey. As I looked down at all of those fire trucks, and that plane was moving so quickly toward the ground, my prayer went something like this:

"Dear Lord, if this is it, I'm OK with it. You've given me a great life, and I can die a happy man. I know you are with me, and you will protect me. My only regret is I will miss my family. Please look after them and help them through this. Please make sure Laurel finds someone else and lives a happy life, she deserves it. Please make sure that my children are looked after and taken care of."

Nothing more, nothing fancy, just a very simple prayer. I felt surprisingly calm, surprisingly confident that God would look after me. Let me be clear about this though, this had nothing to do with me, who I am, what I've done, but everything to do with God. As the line from "Be My Escape" says, "But the beauty of Grace is that it makes life not fair". There is no fairness or reason for me to feel confident in my life after death other than my confidence in the Grace of Jesus Christ dying for me, and for you, on the cross.

So, the landing. It was fast, it was hard. As soon as we hit the ground, the pilot was hitting the reverse thrust and the brakes to slow us down. Afterward, I thought about it, and I was thankful it was a commuter jet, because we used up a whole lot of runway, so I'm not sure what it would have been like with a large jet. We eventually got stopped, and all of a sudden, there was one hesitant clap, and then a round of applause for the pilot. I was quickly texting my family to tell them what had happened and that everything was OK.

Which brings me to the next point. I've been planning for a while to write my desire for my funeral, but I've worried that it would seem too creepy. I figured I had plenty of time to deal with this, and I hope that I still do, but based on my experience above, you just never know when you have to be prepared for the inevitable. Am I prepared? I think that's a question we all wrestle with continually. As I have to keep reminding myself, it has so little to do with me, and so much to do with Him. Therein lies the beauty of it all.

A Voice From the Past

Oh I wish I were that old! This was a picture from when I turned 40, and my former colleagues at Barco in Xenia, Ohio got one of those birthday cakes and put it out in front of the building, and made me stand on it as cars went by and honked ... Good times really, much better times. This was 2000, business was booming, 9/11 hadn't happened yet, life was so much simpler and easier. But as usual, I digress.

Back in the late 1990's, Barco acquired a company in Xenia, Ohio, it was called EIS. I got involved at EIS from the beginning of the acquisition, which was 1997, eventually I went to work there full time, and stayed there until 2006. These were the best work years of my life. We worked hard, we were very committed, but in so many respects, EIS was like a family. In fact, when I first got there, in many ways, it was a family, or families. Various relatives worked there, husbands and wives, parents and children, various combinations of family members.

Which brings me to the point of the story, and one of the relatives, Sue Longland. Sue was an incredible person, always upbeat, always happy, always positive. She would carry a Curious George lunch box, she loved Curious George. Sue worked in accounting when I got there, and processed accounts payable. Her father, John Longland, was the Staff Scientist, a very intelligent, gentle man. They were incredible to watch together, Sue loved her parents dearly, and John loved his daughter dearly as well. Sue really struggled with what to do with her life. She had a greater purpose, she wanted to serve God. She also didn't want to leave her parents, but couldn't really find the right opportunity in the local area. Eventually, Sue left and went to work in Seattle, Washington, I think at a Christian school. I recently stalked her on Facebook, and she is working in Honduras, I'm really not exactly sure what she is doing, but I'm sure, she is serving God in some manner. I remember when Sue was leaving us, she said to me (or something like this), "with so many problems in the world, I really can't get that excited over processing accounts payable."

I hadn't really thought about Sue until recently, and it was by happenstance, one of those strange bits of serendipity. When our boys left for college, Laurel gave one of them my Bible to take with them. After I got over my shock and amazement of having my Bible given away, I found another Bible on our book shelf and started using it for my Men's Group meetings. I noticed there were several post-it notes throughout the Bible, and various verses underlined, I assumed it was one of the boy's Bibles from school. So, I used it for several weeks, until finally the other night, I turned to the beginning, and serendipity hit me head on. The Bible was one that Sue had given me when she left Barco way back in 1999, and I had forgotten all about it. As all of those memories flooded back to me, I read an incredible message in the front of the Bible from Sue that went like this:

"I admire you, my friend, as a man of integrity, humor, compassion, and hard work. I'll miss you, but with this book, I leave you my heart. This is the dearest thing in all the world to me (even dearer than Curious George!). I hope that this Leadership edition will help you be a godly man, both at home and at EIS.

I also hope that Jesus Christ will become more real and relevant to you as you study these pages. I've marked some of my favorite verses - hope you don't mind! Because of Him, Suebeedoo, Romans 10:9-10"

I thumbed through the Bible, looking at the pages with post-it notes, looking at the various verses that were underlined for me. Of course, they were some of the "greatest hits" of the Bible - "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly", "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast", and so on. And Romans 10:9-10? "That if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved". And I was back at EIS, simpler, happier times, where work was family, and family was work, and a child of God would make our lives fun and more memorable with funny stories and a Curious George lunchbox.

The funny thing was that at our Men's Group meeting the other day, Eric Moore asked the question, "do you ever think that you've encountered an angel". Of course, I knew my answer.