But I Can't Meditate!

A few months ago, I read Dan Harris’ book, “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works”. I learned about the book on Nadia Bolz-Weber’s website, and she highly recommended it for anyone, but particularly those of us who journey with those voices. Plus, I loved how she noted that Dan’s wife said the book should really be titled “90% Still an Asshole”.

I read the book, and I fell in love with it. I felt like Dan Harris and I were kindred spirits. OK, I was never a famous journalist and TV personality, and I’ve never worked in dangerous war zones to cover a story, but I’ve lived so many of the other pieces, the anxiety, the voices, the drug use, I could relate to what he was saying, and on a certain level, I was living his stories while reading them.

The crux of the book is to help his readers find the power of meditation and how it can transform your life, and once I was done with the book, I was sold. I had done some meditation at times, but never really that successfully. I decided I was going all in, and I subscribed to his app, so I could get emails, access to his website with various meditations, I was going to start meditating every day.

That lasted, I think, one day? I started out with an “easy” meditation, I had done this one before, it’s called “Loving Kindness Meditation”. There are some variations of this, but essentially you go through a list of people, someone you love, a mentor, an acquaintance, someone you don’t like, and then yourself, picture that person, and then say to them:

“May you be happy

May you be safe

May you be healthy

May you live your life at ease"

As noted, I think I made it one day. But then, it got much worse. What is amazing and incredible about Dan Harris is he truly believes in the power of meditation. Because of that, he sends almost daily emails with new meditations, advice, information, all sorts of helpful hints about how you can enhance your meditation practice. It was stressing me out….

I would let the emails sit in my inbox, unread, and they would pile up. Once I’d get about 10 in there, I’d take them all and move them to a separate folder, so I wouldn’t have to see them anymore. I’d tell myself that I’ll go back when I have time and read them all. I think I currently have 42 unopened emails in the folder, hanging over my head like Damocles’ Sword.

Thankfully, a few weeks ago, I got an email from Dan Harris that was titled something like, “Feeling guilty about not meditating?” This one I opened and read, and it was well worth it. It talked about all of those ways we are already meditating, even if we don’t sit in a lotus position, back straight, eyes closed, completely focused on our meditation. As he notes:

“No matter how little meditation you’ve done, you’ve almost certainly had moments where your anxiety and self-referential chatter naturally subsided somewhat. So just tune into those moments.”

That’s when I realized, I’ve been meditating all this time. No, not in a traditional way, but in my own way, and quite frankly, if for once I can say something good about myself, I think I’m doing it really well.

I started a morning routine, several years ago of doing plank and boat each day after getting up. It varied for a while, but now it is exactly the same, every morning, at least five days/week. I turn on YouTube, I watch and listen to two songs, Hillsong United’s “So Will I” and Casting Crowns’ “Nobody”. In many cases, I can’t actually see the videos, I can only listen, but it’s OK. What really struck me as I thought about this routine, is it has a certain amount to do with the music, it has a certain amount to do with the exercise, but the overwhelming part of it? The breath. Everything is geared to the breath. While this may bore you to tears, bear with me, there’s a reason for showing you this:

My Meditation Practice

Hillsong United – “So Will I” 

7 minutes, 2 seconds

·  Forearm plank – 18 breaths (OK, why 18? Who the hell knows, but that’s what it is)

“God of creation

There at the start

Before the beginning of time”

· Side plank, left side – 10 breaths
· Side plank, right side – 10 breaths
· Plank – 5 breaths
· Side plank, left side – 5 breaths
· Side plank, right side – 5 breaths

Casting Crowns – “Nobody”

3 minutes, 52 seconds

· Reverse plank or reverse table – 10 breaths (OK, one variation to the routine)
· Boat to low boat, back and forth – 10 breaths

“Well the moral of the story is

Everybody’s got a purpose”

· Low boat, scissor legs back and forth (10 breaths)
· Low boat, feet go wide, tap heels together (10 breaths)
· Low boat, swim the feet (10 breaths)
· Boat, rotate arms back and forth, right, center, left and back (5 breaths)

It took me such a long time to figure out, it wasn’t about the exercise, although I do need it. It’s not about the songs, although I do love both songs and the messages in them. Quite frankly, there are several songs I could easily substitute. It’s the breath. Finding the breath each morning, and consistently staying with that breath.

· Time – 10 minutes, 54 seconds, but really irrelevant
· How long am I holding the various plank or boat poses? – No idea
· Number of breaths – 108. To be honest, I just did the count right now as I was writing this. The number 108 is considered sacred and is associated with various aspects of divinity, wholeness, and the universe. OK, most likely this happened by dumb luck, but then again, maybe it didn’t….

I just got an email the other day from Anne Weidinger, an incredibly gifted yoga teacher. She loves hummingbirds, and she was espousing all of the great qualities that hummingbirds show and can teach us. The one I gravitated to was “abhyasa”. She had a definition in her email, but I wanted to explore further since it captured me.

“In the context of yoga and spiritual practice, abhyasa refers to consistent, dedicated, and sustained practice. It’s the effort and willpower needed to maintain a steady practice, not just in the physical sense of asanas, but also in the mental and emotional aspects of yoga, such as quieting the mind.”

I’ve found that my mornings, those 108 breaths, center me, allow me the ability to quiet my mind, and at least start the day in a good way. I’ve found when I go more than a day without this routine, I get out of sync, and I can’t wait to get back to my breath.

OK, I may have bored the shit out of you with the minute details of my daily practice, but as Casting Crowns would say, “Everybody’s got a purpose”. I hope that this will awaken in each of you what you’re doing each day to meditate and ground yourself. Dan Harris gave various examples, a walk in nature, holding a baby, watching a sunset, cuddling with your cat, give yourself credit! Think about the ways you are already meditating and embrace them, expand them, see where you can find your grounding. And breathe.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came 
(Excerpt from Cheers theme song)

Over the past few months, we’ve had some truly awful customer service experiences with some fairly large purchases.  One was a new vehicle for Laurel, and the other was new flooring in our home.  In each case, the treatment we received was almost comical, we had to laugh at times, because it was so incredibly bad.

I planned to write a blog post about each incident, probably titled “Customer DISservice”, and I believe I need to write them as a form of catharsis, to release the anger and irritation we experienced, and also to inform the public about the horrible service we received from these two companies.  But, as those of you who read my blog know (Laurel and my Mom), I love to write about great customer service, which brings me to Standardized Brewing.

For several years when we lived in Georgia, Laurel and I would frequent Slow Pour Brewing Company.  It started with Sundays, we would go to church, go to yoga, and then finish off the day at Slow Pour.  Soon, we started going on Friday also.  When I started taking Laurel there on Saturdays, she said, “We can’t come here all weekend!”, to which I replied, “Why not?”

We moved to Ohio a little less than five years ago, and we’ve tried various breweries in the area, but none of them quite captured us like Slow Pour did.  Then, I think a little over a year ago, we discovered Standardized Brewing.  The beer is great, but many breweries can make that claim.  What captured me initially was they had hot pretzels, which may take me back to my days going to baseball games and getting a hot pretzel at the game.  Whatever the reason, we started going to Standardized every Friday evening.

We then discovered their coffee.  As many of you know I’ve had an insane obsession with Starbucks for many years.  I have a Starbucks gold card, dated 2008, which I still use, and I oftentimes would go to Starbucks at least once a day, sometimes twice.  Thankfully, I’ve cut back on my coffee drinking, but we now go to Standardized at least each Saturday for our coffee, and also for whatever donuts they are serving that day.  They have a standard coffee menu, but they also have a special coffee selection that rotates periodically.  Their coffee is really good, and their personnel put a lot of time and love into each cup of coffee.  I can’t remember the last time I’ve been to Starbucks….

 

It All Started With Caroline

To be honest, though, it’s so much more than beer, coffee, pretzels and donuts.  Most of you aren’t nearly as old as me, but the excerpt from the Cheers theme song above is from a comedy show that ran mostly in the 1990’s (or as my students say, the 1900’s).  It was about a bar where people regularly frequented, and part of the appeal was, you knew everyone, and everyone knew you.  The running theme each show would be Norm coming in the front door, and everyone yelling “Norm!” when he entered the bar.  OK, no one yells “Steve!” when I come in the door, but it’s pretty close.

After we had been coming every Friday to Standardized, one evening, Caroline asked us our names.  We told her, and we learned her name.  She gave us both a big hug.  Do you know how that felt?  In most cases, especially as we get older, people really don’t notice you or care about you, I sometimes think I’m wearing Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, but Caroline wanted to know our names, she asked about our family, she was genuinely interested in us.

And it didn’t end there.  There are various people who work there, but because of our religious Friday nights at Standardized, we are most often seeing Caroline, Tim and TJ.  They have our routine down pat, although we’ve been switching it up periodically with them, getting different beers or different snacks.  They always ask how our week has been, and they even notice if we’ve missed a week or if we’re in on an “odd” night.  A couple weeks ago, we were out of town on the weekend, and the next time in, Tim said, “Were you guys here on Friday?”  I still can’t believe he noticed.

The same holds true on Saturday mornings.  Most of the time, we see Wes, Emma and Melissa.  We

receive the same type of greetings, the same friendliness, the same great customer service.  They’ve grown to know our routines, and similarly, they notice us.  The one day I was in there, Melissa looked at me, and said, “Didn’t I just see you yesterday?”  As a matter of fact, yes.  And the one Friday when we were sitting having a beer, Wes just happened to be sitting at the bar, he looked over at us with a big smile and waved to us.

Built by neighbors for the community we love

While I believe that friendliness and a caring nature are inherent in each of these people, I also believe the attitude and great customer service always starts at the top.  Oftentimes, we will see Mark and Jason, the founders of Standardized, hanging out or working when we’re there.  They are always friendly and acknowledge us and several times have let us sample something that they’ve newly developed.  I pulled the line above from their website, it’s obvious that they live this in their business.

You can tell that community is at the center of Standardized, anytime we are in there, there are families, and children of all ages everywhere.  For me, that’s a huge part of the appeal, community has been lost virtually everywhere these days, but community has been created, and thrives, here.  I love to see all of the families gathered and enjoying time together, and the range of children laughing and playing, it’s non-stop activity.  And even the little ones notice us, as the toddlers go waddling  by, we’ll get a smile and a wave, and the parents appreciate that we acknowledge their children.  Laurel and I are probably not “officially” in the community that Standardized serves, we live about 10-15 minutes away, but we’re more than happy to share in what that community offers.  Great beer, great coffee, and outstanding customer service, not sure how we could go wrong.

Take it from a brewery connoisseur, you will love it there.  We sure do.