A tribute to the great work of Jonathan Swift
Several years ago, Bruce Springsteen and Tom Morello collaborated for an incredible version of Springsteen’s song, “The Ghost of Tom Joad”. The song is great in and of itself, but the guitar solos, particularly by Tom Morello, make the live version something special.
I was always intrigued by Morello’s guitar, he has the words, “Arm the Homeless” written or taped across the front of his guitar, I’ve seen this same message in many of his other videos. I always assumed that this was a metaphorical comment, it was his way of saying, we need to give the homeless a means to live their lives rather than the hopelessness they face every day.
But then it occurred to me; this wasn’t metaphorical at all. He meant this literally, and it makes so much sense now!
Think about it. We are struggling in this country with so many homeless people, and they are hanging out in the streets, begging for money or food, and quite frankly, it’s just not very appealing. How are we supposed to feel good about ourselves, when you have all of these homeless people hanging around, begging, unbathed, smelly, really an eyesore for us all? There’s been a call in this country to just put them in jail, but that exacerbates another problem (more on that later).
We should arm them all. Give them all guns, they can go back underneath the bridges where they sleep or the homeless shelters, and they can make more room for themselves. Eventually, the fittest, or probably the best shots, will be able to secure the best locations for sleeping, and the more frail ones will no longer be a problem for us. The homeless population should drastically reduce, and we won’t have that eyesore anymore.
Now, the downside might be that they start heading toward the suburbs and taking out some of the local homeowners for an even better place to sleep, but that can even be turned into a positive. No homeless people whatsoever, all of them will have a place to live, and there will be no more issues of homelessness on the streets. And the bonus is that many of the homeowners that they take out are probably on Social Security or Medicare or both, which will alleviate the problem of funding for those programs.
Once we solve the homeless issue, we can take this model a step further – prisons. This represents another area of overcrowding and an area where we continue to reluctantly spend to keep our streets safe and potentially rehabilitate those who have committed crimes.
Let’s face it, we keep pouring money into our prison systems with no real return on this investment. There are estimates of several billions of dollars being wasted annually on keeping our prisons operating, and really, for what purpose? Do we really believe that these lives are worth much, and do we really believe that there is any hope of rehabilitation?
I would propose a much cheaper solution. We provide each prisoner a gun and a wealth of ammunition when they enter the prison. I get it, there will be the up-front cost associated with this solution, but think of the long-term benefits. It won’t be long before each prison is reduced to a very manageable number of inmates, similar to the homeless situation, the strongest, or best shots, will survive. We won’t need prison guards anymore to ensure safety within the prisons, we will only need guards on the outside to ensure none of the prisoners get out. And if we don’t feed them, the problem eventually goes away completely.
Once we’ve solved the homeless problem and the problem with overcrowded prisons, we can start solving some of the major issues that we face in our society. We know that we will always have guns, it’s our God-given right in this country, so instead of discussing and debating gun control, we should take a completely different approach:
Arm Everyone!
The Second Amendment provides the right to bear arms, and we should ensure that everyone in this country embraces this and adopts this to make our country a much safer, and better, place to live. Since statistics show that the vast majority of mass shootings are perpetrated by white males, we need to look to other demographics where we can provide better coverage and put guns in the hands of those who are underserved. We should start with women, next we should arm children in schools, and then move on to immigrants and blacks to ensure everyone has their God-given right to bear arms.
In regard to the order, that is something we can discuss or debate, but there seems to be.a growing trend among younger men, particularly on college campuses, who say, “Your body, my choice” to let women know who is really in charge. Also, we’ve heard recent stories of creepy old men taking advantage of young girls, preying on the defenseless. If we arm the women, these men may not be so brave, and they may think twice when the young girl or lady counters their brazen approach with “Your private parts, my Smith & Wesson”. The side benefit to this of course is that there will be much less debate on abortion issues related to unwanted pregnancies.
In regard to children, let’s face it, the majority of mass shootings occur in schools. We’ve seen so many tragic stories of shooters marching through a school building, going from classroom to classroom, mowing down young children. What if each of those children was armed, and as soon as some stranger enters the room, they open fire? To be honest, I really don’t think any of these shooters would ever chance it, this problem would be solved very quickly. And again, we have a side benefit. Think of that loveable movie, “A Christmas Story”, and the three friends, Ralphie, Flick and Schwartz, always tormented by Scott Farkus and his toadie, Grover Dill. I think the bullies would be less inclined to abuse Ralphie and the gang if they knew they were packing heat. Bullying would drop dramatically in the school system if everyone was carrying.
Once we’ve solved the most pressing issues in our country, we can expand this to all aspects of society. Churches, the workplace (particularly Post Offices), on the highways. Aggressiveness or nastiness in all of these venues will become less prevalent if people know that their fellow parishioners, co-workers or drivers are loaded and ready for someone to step out of line. I believe that our entire society will become much more civil if people knew one misstep could lead to a bullet to the brain.
Frankly, we’ve approached this issue all wrong for so many years. We fight and argue about the need for gun control, particularly when the latest mass shooting occurs. With so much money tied up in firearms, we will never come to any type of resolution that will curtail it, so I believe the best approach is to just embrace it and open it up for everyone. We can solve the homeless problem, we can virtually eliminate prisons, and we can fix some of the most problematic issues in our country. And when it comes to that lightning rod that gets everyone worked up about guns, mass shootings, instead of hoping for a “Good guy with a gun” to prevent them, we can have “Everyone with a gun” to dissuade anyone from attempting one. And if someone is dumb enough to try, in the immortal words of John McClane in “Die Hard”:
