Why You're My Favorite

As we come upon graduation, the boys have received many cards and letters from people, expressing words of gratitude and inspiration. I've been amazed at what some people write and express, there have been some incredibly heartfelt words delivered to Patrick and Sean.

One of the letters was more of a "form letter" that one of the teachers gives to her students, but I really loved the message to it. It was a teachers' message to her students of why they were her favorite. It talked about the quiet students, the talkative students, the "know-it-all's", the class clowns, the brightest, the "not so brightest", and why each type of student was her favorite student. I loved the message of why it takes so many types of students, and people, to make the world what it is.

Along those same lines, I decided to do a tribute to some of those students who have touched our sons' lives. On one hand, I hate doing something like this, because I hate leaving anyone out, but on the other, I hope people understand that this is but a brief snippet of the great group of kids that our sons have had the honor of going to school with and playing sports with. So many of these kids have been "my favorite" for their own special way of being who they are. The picture above is of Patrick with two of my favorites, Lauren Townsend and Elise Murray. The sad part is that once high school is done, some of these kids we'll never see again. I know that is how life has to be, but it's hard to know that some of these special young people will never be in your life again. So without further adieu....

Why You're My Favorite

Collin Kitts - You make me laugh, and even those times I know I shouldn't be laughing, I still do. You are such an incredibly neat kid, I just loved watching you play soccer, even when you did or said something you shouldn't. I always had a warm spot in my heart for you, maybe because your Mom and Dad are so special to me, or maybe it's just because of you, but I used to always tell Sean, "I just love Collin".

Lauren Townsend - Whether it was singing or in plays, I always loved to watch you perform. Your voice is incredible, and your ability to play dramatic parts, funny parts, any part in a play is amazing. You will do extremely well in whatever you do, your talent is immense.

Jared Magnuson - You exude leadership. I'd joke with you before an event, like the mission trip to Dominican Republic, to make sure to look after Patrick and Sean, and keep them out of trouble. It was really only partially a joke. You are such a great leader, it will serve you well in the future.

JD Baxter - I think if you ever asked Sean the one player he most loved to play with it would be you. You had such amazing energy as a soccer player, you were always going full speed, and never had quit in you. I loved hearing you on the field and seeing you on the field. You never stopped, never gave up, always were talking and always gave it your all.

Elise Murray - You were probably one of the neatest and best things to happen to Patrick and Sean. As quiet and shy as they are, you are so much the opposite. You are fun, you are talkative, you are an incredible bundle of energy that keeps them on their toes. You have a great personality that will take you far.

Kevin Cooper - If all kids, or people, in this world had a heart like Kevin Cooper, the world would be a much better place. I just read the letters you gave to Patrick and Sean for graduation, and your words were so warm and filled with love. You have a huge heart.

Cole Redman - A freshman on the list? That is how special you are. You were the spiritual leader of the Hebron soccer team, and are just flat out a great leader. As a freshman. I can't imagine what you will be like as a senior.

Olivia Ratts - Maybe it's because most of the music, or movies or shows that are your favorites are my favorites too. Or maybe it's because you have touched our sons' lives in so many ways these past few years. House Church is what it is because of you. You have an artist's heart and a fun and bubbly personality that will carry you far.

John Foley - They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Your eyes say that as big and strong as you are, you have an even bigger heart to back it up. I remember how broken up you were when you got red carded and had to sit out. You felt you let your team down. You took goals given up and losses to heart, much more than you should have. That is why you are such a great young man.

Dino Favara - When the boys first went to Hebron, I kept hearing this name - Dino. Dino did this, Dino said that. I came to find out that you were a very funny young man, but I guess what I really appreciated was that you were one of the first to really welcome Patrick and Sean into a new school. We worried a lot moving them their junior year, but you, and others like you, made the transition go almost flawlessly.

OK, I promised myself I would limit it to 10, or I could go on and on. Each of the young people above bring their own special talent and personality to the world, and that's what makes it all so beautiful. We love them for what each of one of them has and what each one of them brings. The leaders, the class clowns, the musically talented, the athletically talented, the happy ones, the brooders, each brings his or her own fingerprint to the canvas, and because of who they are and what they bring, we just love them. Thank God, they've been in Patrick and Sean's lives, and in my life.

Thank a Teacher!

Editor's Note: I really wish I could
take credit for this one, but the credit has
to go to Dave Carr. If you want to read a thought-provoking, inspirational blog, go to www.carrpediem.blogspot.com. If you're happy reading the meandering of someone whose head is stuffed with fluff, well, read on.

I started teaching accounting at nights at Georgia Gwinnett College (GGC) last fall. I teach one class each term, believe me, it's enough. For those of you who are teachers, I'm not telling you anything you don't know. Teaching is incredibly hard. You put in a significant amount of hours preparing, planning, strategizing, trying to figure out how best to present the material so that students will learn it and get it. You have the struggle of balancing the material, some students "get it" quickly and easily, and some students, unfortunately, will never get it. You try to balance how you present to keep it from being boring for some and keep it from being overwhelming for others. I've asked experienced teachers, and they struggle with this issue, so I don't think I'm going to master it anytime soon. And to be honest, I teach accounting, which isn't the most thrilling topic to try to teach students. My class is one night a week, so 2 1/2 hours of accounting. It beats watching paint dry, but it's not always easy to liven up an accounting class. When in doubt, I do my usual, I tell stories. I figure if I at least tell them some real life stories about how accounting works, the subject may stick a little better.

Teaching in so many ways can be thankless. Again, nothing new that I'm telling full-time teachers. You work hard to prepare, try to make the class interesting, try to educate, and you still end up with a certain portion that may not try, may not show up, don't do the homework, don't pass the class. As much as you try to tell yourself that you can't do the work for them, you still feel like a failure when your students fail. It hurts to know that you simply didn't reach a certain portion of your students.

One of the things that GGC does is offer a program to students called "Thank a Teacher". They ask students to write a note or letter that can provided to a teacher if they want to thank them for something they've done. I've received one each term, thankfully, and I passed it on to a few of my Small Group members from Dayton because it made me feel good. As one of them, a college professor, said, teaching is like golf. When you're a golfer, you always remember that one great shot you hit during the round that keeps you coming back. When you're a teacher, you don't get many thank you's, but that one that you do get, keeps you motivated, keeps you excited to do it again.

Dave Carr challenged me, and I am now challenging any of you that read my blog. Thank a teacher. Or if it's not a teacher, thank a mentor, thank a minister, a youth leader, someone who has touched or touches your life. As Dave would suggest, don't type it, don't do it by e-mail, write a simple, hand-written note, give it to them personally, or mail it to them. Speaking from one who recently was thanked, I can assure you, you will make someone's day if you give them a simple thank you for what they've done in your life.

I plan to take the challenge from Dave and start today. By the way, the picture above is of Patrick and Sean with their music teacher, Steve Burkholder. As I've said before, every child should have a Steve Burkholder in his or her life. We have tried to continually tell Steve what he has meant to Patrick and Sean, and to us. I figured posting a picture of the boys with such an incredible teacher was a fitting way to highlight this post. Please, take the challenge, thank a teacher!

What Are We Teaching Our Children?

I had a bit of a paradoxical weekend. Let me start with the last part first. I'm not a huge NBA fan, but on Sportscenter this morning, they had a clip of Rajon Rondo dislocating his elbow, and then coming back later in the game, essentially playing with one good arm, but still playing and motivating his team with his determination. They then showed various clips from history - Willis Reed playing in a Game 7 with a torn thigh muscle, Jack Youngblood playing with a broken leg in a championship game, Emmit Smith playing in a championship game with a dislocated shoulder, Kirk Gibson hitting a game winning home run on one leg. I've actually used the Willis Reed clip to motivate my son to come back from an injury for a big game.

For the most part, we shouldn't view professional athletes as our heroes. They are human, and they have flaws just like all of us do. We should be looking to our family, teachers, coaches, ministers, and those close to us as our heroes. Still, those events noted above are heroic efforts that are etched in our memories and should be viewed as heroic efforts.

Which brings me to the beginning of the weekend, our high school soccer playoff game. Hebron Christian Academy was playing in the quarterfinals against Pace Academy. Pace was ranked number 2 in the state, and were a very good team. What was so troubling was that so many of the Pace players resorted to diving during the game. For those that aren't familiar with soccer, diving is a technique to pretend you are fouled by the opponent by falling down, when in reality, you weren't fouled. If you can get the call from the referee, you get a free kick and an advantage. This has grown in popularity since it works so well in World Cup and other professional soccer venues.

On one hand, it becomes painfully obvious why soccer has never really caught on in America, and most likely never will. While it is a great sport and very popular with kids, we prefer our athletes to display heroic acts, like Jack Youngblood, Kirk Gibson, or Willis Reed. While I'm sure there have been many great soccer players, like John Terry or Franz Beckenbauer, who have done heroic things on the field, too often what kids see are the players who feign injuries, or act like they've been fouled, when in reality, they weren't. It's not something we should be holding up as an ideal for our kids to be shooting for.

On the other hand, I have a far greater concern for our children as we move forward. What are we teaching them? I've always told my sons, if I ever see you take a dive on the field, if your coach doesn't pull you off the field, I will. Diving is cheating, it's dishonorable, it's unethical. While some kids may come upon this naturally by imitation by watching professional soccer, when a team does it consistently, it is obvious that it is being coached and encouraged. Coaches are also teachers and leaders of our children, so what are we teaching them to do? What are we telling them is appropriate? When you get to college, if you can cheat on one of your exams, and get an A, that's OK. As long as you don't get caught. When you get into the work world, if you can take credit for another colleague's work, but not get caught, that's OK. Winning is all that matters, at any cost.

I'm very thankful that each of the coaches my sons have had in their lives have encouraged them to play hard, but play within the rules of the game. I wouldn't have it any other way. I would encourage those coaches out there that advocate winning at all cost, who advocate diving or other unethical methods to winning, to look in the mirror and consider what their role is in our children's lives. Do you want to develop the next Thurgood Marshall or Albert Schweitzer or do you want to develop the next Bernard Madoff or Kenneth Lay? My sons still talk about coaches they had 5-10 years ago with fondness and admiration because of what they taught them. Dave Dickerson, Franklin Lawson, Colin Hutton, Bob Gardner and Henry Hardin will be some of the names etched in my sons' memories for what they taught them, which was play hard, play as a team, play to win, but always play fair and within the rules.

In the end, we learn so much, no matter what the lesson is. In this case, we learned that winning really doesn't matter nearly as much as losing with dignity and with class. Just as the coaches need to be able to look at themselves in the mirror, the players need to be able to look at themselves in the mirror. While as spectators we can guess at the motives for a dive, only the player himself knows his own motives. Except for God of course, who knows all of our motives, but then again, that's a whole different story. At the end of the day, we all need to be able to look in the mirror and feel good about what we see. I can't imagine that winning at all costs would provide a pleasant picture looking back at me.