A Clearing Season - New Growth

“..the essence of gratitude is saying to God, surprise me… By such openness we say to God, whatever you give me, whatever surprise comes to me from you, I accept and welcome”

Atlanta to Harrisburg to Atlanta. 

This week brought a slight reprieve on the travel, just one short trip to Chambersburg, Pennsylvania.  The joy for me has been I’ve traveled the last week to Richmond, Indiana and Chambersburg with two colleagues from work, Brent Shadix and Jeanne Thrift.  I should also clarify that they are much more than colleagues, they are two very close friends.  As I’ve noted before in my blog posts, Brent is probably the best friend I’ve ever had at work, and also one of my greatest mentors.  Simply stated, he has made me a better person.  Jeanne is an incredible lady, I think the world of her, and she is a very dear friend.  Separate, they are great to be around, I really enjoy spending time with them.  Together, it is magical.  They have such a special friendship and relationship, I can just sit back and watch them interact, it is just so much fun.  While we worked hard this last week, I truly enjoyed the time we spent together.

The reading this week focused on new growth, and was probably the most enjoyable chapter for me.  There were so many nuggets of wisdom that I found myself wanting to highlight virtually the whole chapter.  I’ve listed the one quote above regarding surprise, which is often a hard thing for us to accept or want.  As I’ve noted, I tend to want to control everything, but I do have to say that I’ve had some great moments in my life due to surprise.  A couple that came to mind were:

The birth of our sons, Patrick and Sean - Some people know, Laurel and I weren’t exactly planning to have any more children.  The funny thing was that at one point early on, we were sitting in church, and there was a guest preacher.  He said in his sermon something along the lines of “the best things in life happen when you’ve made other plans”.  Laurel and I discussed it later, and both of us had the same exact thought that popped into our heads – we’re pregnant (of course, Laurel had a bit of a better idea than me!).  What made the pregnancy that much more special is that prior to it, we had been struggling in our marriage.  I wasn’t sure if we would really be able to make it, and the problem was squarely me, and not Laurel.  Somehow, the fact that she was pregnant seemed to be the impetus I needed to “grow up” and be a husband and father to Megan and Kelly, and now a new baby.

But again, God had other plans.  Just as we were adjusting to the fact that we were having a baby, Laurel started saying, “I think I’m having twins”.  I laughed, I said she was crazy, I dismissed the idea.  Soon, she had an ultrasound, and she called me at work.  I joked, “So, are you having twins?”.  She said yes, and we then had a back and forth conversation of me saying “You’re joking, seriously?” and Laurel confirming “yes, we’re having twins.”  After several iterations, Laurel said, “Do you want me to put the nurse on the phone?”  I confirmed I did, and the nurse said, “Well, you’re having twins, one’s definitely a boy, and I think the other one is too.”  I again went to my response to Laurel, “You’re joking, seriously?”, and she said “I would never joke about something like this.”  And the rest is history.

Leaving my job at Barco – What didn’t seem like a wonderful surprise at the time truly became one.  Again, God can surprise you, and you need to wait for the surprise to completely unfold.  When I worked at Barco, I used to say that I bleed Barco red.  I would travel continually, I would call co-workers from church, I completely gave up my parental responsibilities to work ridiculous hours.  I lived for Barco.  Then, after 13 years, Barco got a new CFO in Belgium, and he took an instant disliking to me.  I figured I could win him over, but there was no winning him over.  He was either going to figure out how to fire me, or make my life so miserable that I would resign.  I was devastated, but I left Barco and went to WIKA, where I’ve been for nine years now, and I love it even more than I did working at Barco.

But that’s not the full story.  As I said, I gave up my life, my faith, my family for Barco, and I don’t blame Barco, I was the problem.  When this happened, I finally figured out what the most important things in my life were, and I took back my family.  I unfortunately missed a lot of years that you can never get back, but I did learn before it was too late.  While I love working at WIKA, and I work hard, I will never put my job above my family again.  God gave me a wonderful surprise, I didn’t realize it at the time, but it turned out to make all the difference in the world.

While I had two major life-changing surprises as I noted above, I had two other great surprises just this past week:

Georgia Gwinnett College Part-time Teacher Award – I’ve been teaching in the evenings at Georgia Gwinnett College for seven years, and I’m retiring this year due to my travel schedule.  It’s been a very tough decision for me since I love teaching so much, and I love the students.  On Monday, I received an e-mail that I had received the Business Department’s Part-time Teacher Award.  Now, I’m not much for awards or accolades, I do what I do because I enjoy it, and I’m being perfectly honest, the opportunity to teach was award enough.  I will still say though that this e-mail made my day.  I really like and respect the people in the Business Department at GGC, and while I think the award is essentially just a “retirement gift”, I still deeply appreciate them thinking of me.

Barbara Riley from the Amanda Riley Foundation – I decided to give a Clinging Cross this week to Barbara Riley, Founder of the Amanda Riley Foundation.  I have so much admiration for Barbara and her family for what they do.  Seven years ago, she lost her daughter Amanda to childhood cancer.  While I can only imagine the pain of losing a child, and hope I never experience it, Barbara decided to dedicate herself to help other families that are going through a similar situation as she did by starting the Amanda Riley Foundation.  I hope Barbara doesn’t mind but I wanted to post a picture of Amanda for my blog post.  She was, and is, a beautiful child of God.

Yet again, God obviously had a hand in all of this, because it surely wasn’t me, but the timing worked out well.  A day or two after I gave Barbara the Clinging Cross, I got this e-mail back from her:

"I also want to thank you for the beautiful gift of the Clinging Cross.  What a thoughtful gift and much needed at this time of year.  This week and the coming weeks are always very difficult ones for us as each day represents a different anniversary of that horrible time in our lives.  Seven years ago yesterday was the last day Amanda was at home and seven years ago today we were told there was nothing more they could do.  So to say the timing of this gift could not have been better....but then God's timing is always right on.  Truly I do appreciate it and will treasure it forever."

So God, I'm ready, bring it on.  Surprise me.

Just a few more things and then I'm done.

Our Senior Pastor Chris Henry was back after taking some time off with his new baby and his family.  As usual, he didn’t disappoint.  The one part of his sermon gave me one of those light bulb moments, although it really shouldn’t be.  Maybe that’s why I always say my head is stuffed with fluff, the obvious just isn’t that obvious to me.  Anyway, when he talked about “A Clearing Season” and making space, he said:

“But making space for renewal of the soul is not like adding another item to the to-do list.  Caring for the soul is a gift we give ourselves, not an obligation we begrudgingly meet.  If we don’t make room to receive that spiritual gift, there will never be enough time in our crowded lives.  Like tidying up, making space for God is a choice and a commitment.  It involves setting priorities and holding ourselves accountable and sometimes, it means stretching ourselves beyond the comfortable.”

I had the hardest time not exclaiming “Wow!” or something like that when Chris said it in church, and I couldn’t wait for his sermon to be posted online to read it again.  Such powerful words.

As I noted, the reading this week had so many precious gems, but one of the sections discussed Vulnerability and the power that you can gain from vulnerability.  The passage cited various great examples, including Gandhi and Martin Luther King, but of course, it centered on the power through vulnerability of Jesus Christ and the Cross.  It said:

“Power is not what the world says it is, rather, we find power in the story of the Crucifixion.  We find power in a love that triumphs by passing through the vulnerability of death.  Each time that force seems to have defeated the vulnerable, resurrection is actually right around the corner.  Love returns to the world every time, with tender vulnerability so powerful it is unstoppable.”

Finally, some lyrics from my current “go to” song, “Heaven Knows” by Hillsong United:

"Hold my heart, don't let it break like fear

Sometimes a moment feels like a thousand years

God only knows why love is drenched in tears

Maybe that's what makes it love

Maybe that's what makes it love"

As I survey what God has presented to me this week, I have to say that I'm grateful for:

The love of a wife for a husband who didn't deserve it

The love of friendship

The love of teachers for their students

The love of a mother for her child

The love of a pastor for his church

The gift of God's surprises in my life

The love of a Father for all of us to sacrifice His only Son